I don't want to be alone tonight
by KBJones
Summary: What happened just after Titan's defeat?  Fluffy.  Rox/Meg.  How's he going to transition from hated Evil Overlord to popular Protector of Metro City?  How'll the city handle Roxanne apparently dating her late boyfriend's murderer?  Ch 11 M-rated
1. I Don't Want to Be Alone Tonight

Roxanne nervously approaches Megamind's evil lair. Well, probably not evil anymore after defeating Hal today. They hadn't spoken much. After he'd drawn his dehydration gun on the crowd she'd calmed him down and he and Minion (in an emergency fishbowl retrieved from the invisible car) had left. The police took Hal, brainbots retrieved all of Megamind's broken equipment, and the crowd lost interest. It was strangely anti-climactic. It felt surreal.

She'd spent the afternoon at the TV station reporting on what had happened. After such a traumatic experience, most reporters would have relayed the facts and let someone else handle the reporting, but not her. She'd had so much experience reporting on her own kidnappings that it hadn't even occurred to her boss that today had been significantly different. Few people realized that her abductions by Megamind were never dangerous and they assumed she'd simply become acclimated to life-threatening situations. So, with a borrowed jacket over her tank top, her hair fixed, and her make-up done she went into the studio to tell all of Metro City about the unexpected heroics of their Evil Overlord. Her report made the city understand that what Megamind did was not simply one villain defending his territory from a rival villain, but actually a heroic, selfless act for her and all of Metro City. She was purposely vague about how Megamind knew how to defeat Titan (or Tighten?) and didn't mention how he'd gained his super powers in the first place. She needed to talk to Megamind and find out how much he wanted to tell the public.

Of course, she hadn't revealed the truth about Metro Man's supposed death, even though she was furious about it. With great power comes great responsibility, yet he'd _abandoned_ the city! Not just to Megamind, which was bad enough, but to _Hal_! He'd flat-out refused them when they'd _begged_ for his help. It was an insane piece of the most improbable luck that it had turned out all right at all. Lots of people almost died. _She_ almost died. Because of _him_. But she knew no one would believe her without proof, and she was certain Mr. Super Speed wouldn't provide it. She didn't know what she could do, but she'd be _damned_ if she let Megamind take the rap for murdering that sorry excuse for a superhero. Oh, if only he weren't invulnerable, she'd strangle him herself!

When she was done at the station she'd gone home to find her apartment trashed. Hal's doing, it looked like. It was just as well. She really didn't want to be alone tonight anyway.

So, here she is. The doormat's missing, but she remembers where to go. She takes a deep breath and walks into a brick wall which shimmers around her as she passes through.

"Megamind, Minion," she calls, "Anybody home?" A sense of foreboding crawls down her spine. Sure enough, a swarm of brainbots appears and charges her, growling menacingly. Did she just scream? She isn't sure. Their red "Eyes" and snapping bear trap jaws are terrifying and she retreats until her back is to the wall. She crouches with her arms covering her head, cowering from the machines. This was definitely a very, very bad idea.

"STOP!" a familiar voice commands, "Bad brainbots! You will NOT harm Miss Ritchi. She's Daddy's friend." Megamind sounds tired. Roxanne opens her eyes to find the brainbots surrounded him now. His hands are stroking them as if they were pets, which, she reflects, they probably are. Did he just refer to himself as Daddy? That doesn't seem very evil villainish. As she watches, one nips at his finger and he scolds it affectionately, "No biting. Ah-ah. No." She can't help but smile.

As she rises to her feet, one of the brainbots floats toward her. It seems hesitant. "Bow-bow" it says and bumps her hand. She gasps at first, then grins as she realizes what it wants and strokes it's dome. Electric sparks follow her fingertips and the bot squirms appreciatively. Soon, she's surrounded by brainbots, all vying for her attention. She laughs and pets all the ones in reach, "I didn't know you guys were so sweet," she coos at them, "You're actually kind of cute."

"Enough! Brainbots, disperse," Megamind orders. The bots retreat a bit, but seem unwilling to obey. Megamind makes a frustrated grunt and mutters something about _dimwitted creations of science._ She hears metal clanking as he picks up something. She can barely see him through the crowd of brainbots. "Who wants the wrench?" he asks, his voice playful as if addressing a pack of friendly dogs. All the bots turn their attention to him immediately, Roxanne instantly forgotten. "Go get it!" he calls as he throws the tool into the darkened warehouse. The brainbots race after it, leaving their daddy alone with Roxanne.

"I'm sorry. I should have called-" she begins at the same time he says "I should have instructed them about you-" They both laugh nervously.

"You go first." says Megamind.

"Hal trashed my apartment." she says, "I was hoping I could stay with you tonight."

This takes Megamind by surprise, "You want to stay here? But, wouldn't a hotel be-"

"I don't want to be alone." Her arms are wrapped around her body. She looks scared and vulnerable. He's rarely seen Roxanne that way. It's disconcerting.

"You could...stay with a friend or your family...or..."

"Please," she interrupts, looking at him with huge blue eyes, "I want to stay with you."

"Uh," he swallows, "Okay."

She rushes toward him and the next thing he knows, her arms are wrapped around him, hugging him. Her body's shaking and she's...crying? Roxanne doesn't cry.

"Shhh..." he hushes her awkwardly, "It's okay." He feels clumsy trying to comfort her, having never comforted anyone before in his life. His arms are around her and he rubs one hand around her back, stroking her as he'd calm one of his pets. "You're safe. I won't let anything hurt you."

"I thought he was going to kill me." She squeezes him tighter and presses her face into his neck. "And then he was after you and I thought you were dead _so_ many times," she sobs.

"I'm not that easy to kill."

She laughs through her tears, "Thank God for that." Sniff. She pulls herself together a bit and moves back from him slightly, wiping her tears away with one hand. "I'm sorry, I must look a mess."

"You've had a hard day," he looks at her face. It's blotchy from crying and her eyes and nose are red. He smiles at her. He thinks she's beautiful, even like this, though he hates seeing her scared and crying. Not his Roxanne. He's secretly thought of her that way, as his, for a long time, even before he'd disguised himself as Bernard. She was his chosen victim and woe to any other criminal that might lay a hand on her. She is special to him, though he knows he has no real claim to her. He cups one hand around her jaw and she leans into it, eyes closing. He's amazed that she would come to him, willingly, for comfort. Has so much changed? Has she forgotten who he is? What he is?

Megamind hears a familiar soft whirring as Minion approaches. Before the fish can interrupt, Megamind says, "Minion, Miss Ritchi will be staying with us tonight."

"Yes, sir. But where will she sleep?"

Megamind hadn't thought of that. He is so tired from the battle and his injuries that his mind isn't working at its normal genius level and Roxanne's presence was distracting at the best of times. Even more-so with her actually in his arms. His brows draw together with worry. "Actually, that _is_ a problem. We don't have a bed here."

Roxanne is confused, "Then where do you sleep?"

He shrugs, "On the couch or in my chair."

"The couch sounds fine," Roxanne assures him. She still remembers her college days when she'd be out late with friends and crash on their couch rather than heading home. She can handle a night on the couch if it means not having to be alone tonight.

He winces as she steps back from him. Her arm had brushed his tender side and sent a jolt of pain through him that he'd been unable to disguise. "You're hurt!" she exclaims.

He smirks at her. Of course he's hurt! He just had his butt kicked pretty good by a super powered idiot. "I'm used to it. Occupational hazard," he jokes.

She's concerned, "Of course. I'm sorry. I should have realized." She looks him over with a critical eye and notes how pale he looks, how many bruises and scrapes are visible on his blue skin, and how stiffly he's holding himself. "Where are you injured? Can I help?"

"I appreciate your concern, but Minion's got me patched up pretty good. I'm alright now."

"Sir, you really should rest. Miss Ritchi, he's good at hiding his pain, but he's really in bad shape. He has at least two cracked ribs, a sprained wrist, possibly a concussion, and more cuts and bruises than I care to count. He needs to rest."

"It sounds like it. Why aren't you in the hospital?" she asks him.

"I don't trust doctors."

"Why not?" _Perhaps he's afraid they'll call the police and send him back to prison_, she thinks.

"I'm afraid they'll try to dissect me."

She blinks at him, startled. _Oh, right. Alien._ "Sorry, sometimes I completely forget you're not human."

"Doesn't the giant blue head kind of give it away?"

She shrugs, "I guess I'm used to it. I don't even notice most of the time."

That statement completely boggles his tired and possibly concussed mind. _She doesn't notice?_ "Huh."

He limps across his lair, Roxanne by his side. Minion follows behind, but is stopped by Megamind's frantic headshake. It's an unfortunate move that sends the world spinning around him for a moment, causing him to stumble. Roxanne steadies him, bumping his injured side again. An involuntary gasp of pain. "Sorry." she says. Minion watches them, but does no follow as they make their way slowly to a back area she hasn't seen before. Separated from the main floor by a black curtain is a large leather couch facing a huge flat-screen TV.

"Wow. Nice screen," comments Roxanne, impressed. It's 6 feet across.

"Thanks. I made it myself." he grins like a schoolboy looking for approval. A tired, slightly dizzy schoolboy.

"You didn't steal it?" she's slightly surprised.

"Well, I stole _parts_ of it. Other parts I bought with stolen money. So, it's pretty much entirely stolen one way or another." He looks sheepishly proud, an odd combination.

Roxanne tries to frown at him with disapproval, but ends up laughing, "I shouldn't be surprised."

They sit, Megamind with obvious relief. He removes his custom baby seal leather boots and then reclines against one arm of the couch. He wants to put his feet up, but Roxanne's in the way. "Do you mind if I put my feet up? I really need to lay down." His head is still spinning a bit and he's having some slight difficulty stringing words together into sentences. He wonders if he should be concerned about that.

"Go ahead." He expects her to move down to the end to give him room, but she doesn't. He's too tired to worry about it and puts his feet in her lap. She doesn't seem to mind. _Maybe normal people sit like this all the time?_ he thinks.

"I half expected leather socks," she says, plucking at a perfectly normal black sock.

"No. Just regular cotton. Five toes on each foot, too. Just like anybody else," he wiggles his toes to illustrate the point.

"You're just blowing all my illusions."

He closes his eyes, but doesn't asleep. A brainbot drifts over and lands on his lap. He strokes it absently. Roxanne watches the little machine, fascinated by it.

"What is a brainbot anyway?" she asks, "Is it an A.I.?"

He shakes his head no, immediately regretting the motion. _Note to self: Head movement: bad._ After a moment the room settles down and he answers, "They're cyborgs. Partially organic brains with robot bodies. Brainbots. "

"Sounds creepy."

He smiles, eyes still closed and points to himself, "Evil mad scientist."

"Of course. Why do they act like dogs?"

"I started with canine DNA, so they share certain personality traits. But they're smarter than dogs. Some are smarter than most people. They're not quite sentient, but they're clever. One of my oldest evil inventions," he says with affection and obvious pride.

"They're really not all that evil."

He shrugs, too tired to defend his evilness.

"I thought cyborgs were purely sci-fi. You know: Terminator, Borg, Cybermen. I didn't know they were actually possible."

"I do a lot of things that aren't possible. Even been trying to kill a man who's invincible. Copper." He laughs. "Should have known better. I'm glad it didn't work."

"Me too." For all the crimes he's committed, she knows Megamind's not a murderer. "So, Evil Overlord, huh? You always said you'd do it. What now?"

"Interested in being my Evil Queen?" he opens one eye to look at her, but closes it again when she answers.

"Not really. I'd rather not be evil." He's so tired that the fact she does not object to being his queen, but only to being evil, goes right past him.

"Yeah, I figured that out awhile ago. A shame, though. You look good in leather and spikes." he grins, remembering a certain Halloween costume he once caught her in. "Temptress."

She smiles too, her face blushing, but he doesn't see with his eyes closed. "Are you going to give the city back?"

"Probably. I don't really know what else to do with it."

"What are you going to do after that?"

"I don't know. Try to stay out of prison for awhile."

"The city needs a hero."

"Yeah, I can just see me in that role. Marching through the street in my giant battle suit rescuing kitties from trees."

Roxanne giggles at the image, "Playing AC/DC the whole time."

"What's wrong with AC/DC?" Megamind asks, slightly hurt.

"Nothing. They're very evil," she assures him with mock seriousness.

"You're making fun of your Overlord, aren't you? You make as lousy a slave as you did a captive, Miss Ritchi."

"And you make a lousy Evil Overlord. You could do it, you know. Be the hero."

"Eighty-eight life sentences, killing Metro Man, destroying the city. I'll be in prison again in a week, regardless of what happened today."

"He's not dead, you can walk out of prison anytime you want, and the people loved you today."

"Yeah, that was nice." He smiled wistfully at the last item.

Roxanne takes his left foot in her hands and starts rubbing it. He jerks it out of her hand, startling the brainbot from his lap. "What are you doing?"

"Rubbing your feet."

"Why?"

"Because they're in my lap and I thought you'd like it."

"Oh." He put his foot back and she continues to rub it. It feels very nice. "I've never had anyone rub my feet before."

"There's probably a lot of things normal people do that you haven't tried."

"Yes, there are."

"Ever go out with a girl? Other than with the disguise watch?"

His face falls and he looks sad. Haunted. The scene replays in his mind, how she'd left him. Alone. In the rain. "No."

"Would you like to?"

Startled, he opens his eyes to look at her. Hope lights his face. "Are you asking me out, Miss Ritchi?"

"Yes, I believe I am." She's answers, amused.

Suspiciously, he asks, "Why?"

"Because I enjoy your company."

"Really?" _That's amazing._

"Is that so surprising."

"Yes, it is. I thought you didn't..." _Did you think I'd _ever_ be with you?_ "I'd like that. To go out with you."

"One catch."

"What?" He's suspicious again.

"If I wanted to date a supervillain, I'd have asked you a long time ago. If you want me, you have to be a good guy."

"That's a lot to ask."

"I know. And I'm not saying you have to take the job of hero, but you can't keep being evil."

"I'm not sure I know how to do that."

"You can figure it out. Aren't you the smartest man on the planet?"

"Yes..." he agrees, wary of the compliment. Since when does she acknowledge his intelligence? "That doesn't mean I always make the best choices."

"You made the right choice today."

His thinking is muddled and this is a serious decision. "Can I sleep on it?"

"Sure." She kicks off her shoes, spreads a blanket from the back of the couch over him, and starts to climb under next to him. "Scoot over."

"What are you doing?" Megamind asks, a touch of panic making his voice higher than he'd prefer.

"Getting ready to sleep."

"I should move to my chair then. Let you have the couch." With a painful moan he starts to sit up.

"No, stay there. I told you. I don't want to be alone tonight. I'll have nightmares."

"You want to sleep with me?" his mouth is suddenly dry and his heart pounding. Is that the way things worked with humans? She _did_ just ask him out. But this is way too soon. He's unprepared. And he's injured and tired almost to the point of passing out...

"Relax, spaceman. I just want to sleep. Nothing else."

"Oh, I knew that."

"Uh-huh."

She snuggles down under the blanket, spooning with her back to his chest. His body is tense and he doesn't know where to place his hand. He tries resting it on her upper arm. That seems safe, but she has other ideas and pulls his arm around her waist.

"Good night, Megamind."

"Good night, Roxanne."

Unsure how he'd gotten himself into this position, but pleased none-the-less, the city's Overlord gradually relaxes and drifts immediately into an exhausted sleep. Roxanne stays awake a bit longer, enjoying his warm body wrapped around her, the steady rhythm of his breathing, and the strange, 3-beat pulse of his heart. Eventually, she also drifts off.

Minion peeks in on them later, surprised to find them curled around each other, faint smiles on their faces even as they sleep. The fish smiles.

**I know she's a bit more vulnerable than normal (actually crying!), but she's been through a very traumatic experience. Although she's been kidnapped a lot, this was the most frightening thing she'd ever experienced. She's got a right to feel shaken. But she did get up the nerve to go to **_**him**_**. So, that took some guts. Not entirely un-Roxanne. **

**Megamind isn't showing much of his typical bravado because he's REALLY beat up. He's tired and possibly concussed and frankly is barely conscious. He doesn't have the energy to keep up his usual villain persona. So, we can see the real him. I tried to make him very similar to his Bernard persona. **

**I also thought that he wouldn't immediately decide to be a hero. He hasn't really had time to consider what's happened and what should come next. Technically, he's still Evil Overlord at this point. **

**They're both vulnerable tonight. Sleeping together (just sleeping) will be very healing for both of them. **

**And yes, she does sometimes forget he's not human. She's been around him so much that she tends to forget that he's blue. Yes, she knows he's blue (even calls him spaceman affectionately) but it's not like she's constantly thinking about it. That's just how he looks. So, in the movie, when she's horrified about him being the one she kissed in the restaurant, it's not because he's a big-headed blue alien. It's because he's the villain who killed Metro Man and took over the city. The contents, not the cover.**

**The Halloween costume mentioned is from my story titled A Villain's Cape (the alternate ending). You can find it on my profile if you want to read it. It's my favorite one. **

**Yes, I'm a Spiderman geek. Or I used to be before I grew up and had kids. With great power comes great responsibility. **

**I swiped the 3-beat heartbeat from some other fan fiction writer here. Sorry, I can't remember who. I've read so many (and so many of you have such good stories!). I also encountered one story where he had 2 hearts, like a Timelord, which I really liked (Doctor Who rules!). But I decided to go with the 3-beat one instead. Does anyone else think that the Black Mamba looks a lot like the formal robes of a Timelord? **

**Reviews make me happy. And more likely to write more. :)  
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	2. Hi, Mom, I'm Dating Our Evil Overlord

Megamind awakes to a strange sensation. His body is wrapped around something soft and warm. Someone. He tenses. Who? His brain starts feeding him memories. Roxanne. He's holding Roxanne. Why is he sleeping with Roxanne? His memories sharpen. Details from the previous day flood his mind. Titan. The battle. He'd won. The crowd. He'd returned to the lair to recover. Then she'd showed up. Oh. Now he remembers. It seems like a dream, but here she is. He relaxes again, breathing in the scent of her hair. She smells sweaty and dusty. She apparently hadn't had a chance to clean up since yesterday. But he doesn't mind. She's here.

He remembers. She'd asked him out. A thrill goes through him. She wants to be with him. It's hardly believable. Why would she want to be with him? He isn't human. He's blue. He'd spent years terrorizing her. Though, it has been a long time since she'd seemed truly terrified. And she said something last night. Something important. That she tended to forget he wasn't human. She didn't even notice most of the time. Could it be that she doesn't care that he's blue? That he's alien?

Well, she is here. Willingly curled in his arms. That would seem to fit the hypothesis, strange though it seems. Of course, she could have just had some sort of mental breakdown. She might come to her senses and be horrified by his presence. His heart aches at the possibility and his arm tightens around her. He sends a prayer to evil heaven that she won't regret coming to him.

There was a condition, though. She wants him to be good. To give up being evil. For her. Was that possible? Give up his life's work? But he'd finally succeeded, fulfilled his destiny. He was Overlord. In command of all the mindless drones of Metrocity. He looks down at the woman he holds in his arms and realizes just how little that means. For her. He will do it for her. He doesn't know how, but he'll do it.

He bends his neck slightly to press his lips to the top of her head. For her he would do anything. If she wants him to be good, then by all that was evil, he will do it!

"Mmmm..." she moans, still more asleep than awake. She wriggles closer to him.

"Good morning, Roxanne."

"Mmm... Morning." she rolls over to face him and kisses him slowly on the lips. It's not a passionate kiss, merely tender and sweet, but it's the first one she's given him since the restaurant when he was Bernard. He follows her lead, hesitant to push her but eager to take whatever she offers. She breaks the kiss and snuggles against him, her head against his chest. "You feel good," she tells him.

"So do you."

"Have you decided? Can you give up being the villain?"

He wonders if she's trying to manipulate him, giving him a taste of what she's offering, knowing he wouldn't be able to resist her. But it doesn't matter, he'd already decided before she woke. "For you, Roxanne, I would do anything. But I don't know where to start. It'll be difficult to convince people I've changed. And I do still have 88 life sentences. And everyone thinks I killed Metro Man. And I'm still Evil Overlord..."

"Shhh..." she silences him with another kiss, "We'll figure it out. You don't have to do it alone."

He breathes a sigh of relief.

Just then something in Roxanne's pocket begins to buzz and vibrate. She sits up and digs her cell phone out to check the number. She groans, rolls her eyes, and opens the clamshell to take the call, "Hi, Mom." she says.

"No, it's fine. I was just getting up."

"Sorry to worry you. I was only home for a minute last night and I didn't check the machine. Hal trashed my apartment, so I couldn't stay there."

"No, it was late when I got in. I figured I'd make a police report and talk to the insurance company today. Are you doing anything later? Because if you could come over and help me clean up the mess, that would be wonderful."

"Oh, it might be a couple hours until I get back over there. What time is it now?"

"Wow, I didn't realize it was that late." Very little light found its way past the curtains that closed off this "room" from the rest of the lair. What light that did make it in had the cold, bluish cast of fluorescents. It is impossible to guess what time it is from that. It isn't surprising she'd slept in. Especially with Megamind wrapped around her so comfortably. She smiles at the thought and leans back against the still reclining spaceman. His arm slips hesitantly around her waist and he watches warily to see if she'll object. "How about you come over around eleven?"

"No, I'm not at a hotel." She hesitates, watching her brand-new boyfriend. He is listening to her side of the conversation with obvious Interest, a slightly evil smile on his lips. "I stayed with a friend."

"No, not Valarie." Valarie is one of the administrative assistants who works at the TV station. She is one of her closest friends. Roxanne occasionally stays over at her place and it's the obvious guess as to where she'd be if she wasn't at home.

Megamind chooses this moment to finally sit up, an action which causes an involuntary groan as his cracked ribs protested the movement. Roxanne's mother hears the male voice and makes a guess at who it is.

"No, that's not Bernard." Megamind quirks an eyebrow at the mention of his former alias. She grins at him and tells her mother what was technically the truth. "We actually broke up the night before last. He just..." she pauses to consider how to phrase it, "wasn't who I thought he was." Megamind chuckles. He wonders if the report of his mishap with the disguise watch in the restaurant would show up in the news. The restaurant had been crowded, but would any of them dare risk the displeasure of their Overlord to share the story?

Her mother asks who the man in the background was, correctly guessing that a new boyfriend had taken Bernard's place.

"Um, that's..." _Should I tell her?_ She mouths, covering the mouthpiece on her phone.

Megamind shrugs. "She'll find out eventually. Unless you're planning to hide it." It occurs to him that perhaps Roxanne wouldn't want people to know who she was dating. It might ruin her reputation to be associated with him. Would she be ashamed to be seen with him? "It's up to you, but...I'd rather not hide anymore."

She nods, takes a deep breath, and tells her mother, "That's Megamind. I stayed with him last night." She closes her eyes and scrunches her face up, waiting for her mother's reaction as if she expects a physical blow.

At her mother's response, her expression shifts to annoyance, "It's not supposed to be funny, Mom. It's true."

Frustration, "It's not ridiculous."

Then anger at not being believed. "Seriously. Do I have to send you a picture? I'm sitting right here on his couch watching him laugh his ass off."

Megamind found this exchange hilarious and is holding his sides, quietly laughing at her. Not his flamboyant evil laugh, but a genuine, spontaneous one that makes it hard for Roxanne to believe he had ever been a villain at all. "Ow." he complains, "My ribs." She kicks him in the leg and he sobers up a bit, wiping his eyes and straightening his face. His eyes still twinkle, "You really shouldn't kick your Overlord, Miss Ritchi. There might be repercussions."

"Sorry, my foot slipped," she giggles.

"You are ly-ing."

"Oh look, it slipped again," she said as she kicks his leg again.

He grabs her ankle and traps it under his knee, preventing it from slipping again. He smiles and mouths, _Temptress,_ before releasing her. He likes this game, but now was probably not the best time to play it.

"Sorry, Mom. He distracted me."

"_I_ distracted _you_?" asks Megamind incredulously.

She ignores him, "No, Mom. I'm fine. He did _not_ kidnap me. I came on my own."

"Because I like him." Megamind looks smug at that statement.

"I'm _not_ insane."

"He did _not_ murder Wayne!"

"I _know_ he didn't because we tracked him down yesterday. He was having some sort of mid-life crisis. He faked his own death so he could quit being the hero. He's no more allergic to copper than I am."

"Why do you keep saying that? I am _not_ kidding. He wants to be a rock star instead of a superhero. He said he wants to be called _Music Man_, so he can use his same logo. He's grown a beard and his hair's all shaggy. How on earth he thinks that's going to be all the disguise he needs, I don't know."

"I don't think I _could_ make that up even if I wanted to. I'd come up with something more plausible."

"He's a lousy singer, too," Megamind adds helpfully.

"I thought you said he had talent," teases Roxanne.

"He does. Just not at singing," he quips.

Roxanne rolls her eyes and continues talking into her phone. "So, the jerk quit and refused to come help when we found him. He basically told Megamind to go take care of it himself."

"Of course we explained it to him. What, you think we just dropped in to discuss the weather? He said he was done being the hero!"

"No, I'm sure he had his reasons for _abandoning_ us to a madman," she states sarcastically.

"I'm referring to _Hal_ as the madman, Mom, not Megamind."

"They're _completely_ different. Hal tried to _kill_ me."

Megamind is insulted. Hadn't he tried to kill her as well? 254 separate times, in fact. True, he'd never really wanted to take her life, far from it. He'd have been devastated had he harmed her. But Metro Man could be relied on to save her, as one professional relies on another, but the threats were always real. They had to be if he was to be taken seriously. It's not like Titan had been the first to ever attempt her murder. He considers pointing this out, but decides it wouldn't help his cause at all.

"Mom, Megamind risked _everything_ to save me! Hal almost _killed_ him! He fell from, like, 100 stories up. I _still_ can't believe he thought of dehydrating himself in mid-air. It was brilliant. And that it actually worked? That was amazing! He's not a bad guy," she insists fiercely, her eyes meeting Megamind's at the end. He realizes then that this isn't a trick, it isn't some form of insanity, or an exaggeration to win the argument with her mother. Roxanne _admires_ him. She regards him as her _hero_. She _believes_ in him and he, the man with an ego to match his head, is humbled by that. He leans forward to pull her into his lap, puts his arms around her, and rests his forehead against hers as he waits for her to finish her conversation.

She gets the hint and wraps up her call. "You know what, Mom? We just woke up. I haven't had coffee or a shower or anything. How about if we talk about this later while we clean up my apartment. I'll tell you all about it and you can tell me how good girls don't date supervillains, okay?"

"Yeah, I love you too, Mom. Bye." She clicks the phone closed and returns her attention to Megamind.

"Good girls don't date supervillians?" he asks her, teasing.

She smiles, "No, they don't," and kisses him on the nose just because. Then she sighs, "We should probably get up." She runs her fingers through her grungy hair, "Ugh, I really _do_ need a shower. Do you mind if I use yours? I feel like I haven't bathed in days."

"Of course." They stand and he leads her towards the corner of the lair where the bathroom is located. He's surprised that she takes his hand as they walk, but reflects that she'd often held his hand when he was Bernard. But then there'd been a glove between them. He likes the feel of her hand in his. Her skin is slightly warmer than his, humans having a higher body temperature, but otherwise her hand felt the same as his own. Their fingers entwine naturally. They stop at the bathroom door.

"Do you own any regular clothes I could borrow?" she asks, "These are really pretty filthy."

"I think I could probably find something. It might be kind of tight, though."

"I understand." She's seen fashion models fatter than he is, "Just so long as it's clean, I don't really care."

"I'll leave some outside the door, then." He wanders off to find Minion and some clothes. She closes the bathroom door behind her and wonders what she's gotten herself into.

**Okay, kind of peters out there, but there's more coming. But it was getting pretty long. So, I decided to post this much. The rest will come soon. Hopefully in a few days. They have some stuff to figure out. Like how exactly does one resign as Evil Overlord without ending up in prison? And what are people going to think of Metro Man's apparent girlfriend dating his apparent murderer? Yeah, some stuff to discuss.**

**As always, reviews make me happy.  
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	3. Coffee and Donuts

His bathroom is rudimentary, but clean. She is unsurprised to find no shampoo, but she makes do with the bar soap. It feels good to be clean. She wishes she had a toothbrush and rinses her mouth with water several times to get rid of the worst of her morning breath. Anything more will have to wait until she gets home. She towels her hair dry and examines herself in the mirror. She's wearing a pair of sweat pants and a T-shirt with his M logo. Both black, of course. He was right. The clothes are a little too tight, especially the pants, but they will do. She isn't planning to spend much time out in public and she can find something more appropriate to wear once she gets home. In the meantime, she doubts Megamind will object to the fit of the clothes.

A brainbot waits for her outside the bathroom and begs for attention. She strokes its dome, then lets it lead her to the kitchen. She's surprised at how quickly she's getting used to the fierce-looking cyborgs. Only last night she'd nearly been mauled by them but now she thinks they're oddly adorable. A bit like their daddy.

If the bathroom was rudimentary, the kitchen (if you could call it that) is downright primitive. It consists of a refrigerator, laundry sink, card table with two chairs, several wooden crates that served as cabinetry, and a microwave oven. Luckily, inadequate as it was, Megamind (or more likely Minion) had set out donuts and coffee from what she recognizes as a local bakery.

Megamind is already seated and working his way through a jelly doughnut while making notes on a pad of paper. He's wearing one of his normal black outfits, but without gloves or cape. He looks up at her as she approaches, a silly grin on his blue face. He clearly appreciates the view. "You look good in black," he observes.

She blushes, looking away from him and then back with a shy smile. "You look good too." She leans down to kiss him on the top of his head before sitting beside him. She examines him closer. Now that she's in brighter light, she can see that his color has returned to normal and his bruises and cuts seem to have vanished completely. "Your bruises are gone."

"Yes, I heal fast. My ribs will still take several more days to mend, but otherwise I'm back to normal."

"I wish I healed like that. I feel like I'm just one big bruise," she rubs one hip and winces, "I'll probably be sore for days."

"I'm just glad you didn't sustain more serious injuries. I don't know how I'd live with myself if he'd really hurt you. It's entirely my fault. I'm sorry, Roxanne, I didn't intend it to turn out as it did."

"What was your plan, anyway? I think I figured it out mostly, but why did you want to create a hero? Did you really miss getting your butt kicked?"

He laughs, remembering how she's told him that when he was Bernard. "Not exactly. It just seemed like I needed one. What's the point in being a bad guy if there's no one to try to stop you? There's no challenge. No point. Just terrifying the populous gets old pretty fast and mindless destruction is not really very fulfilling. I was trying to make things go back to the way they were," he hangs his head in shame.

She touches his chin and lifts his face, making him look at her, "You didn't really want to kill Metro Man and be Evil Overlord, did you?"

"I thought I did. But afterwards," he shook his head, "I wish I hadn't."

"Why did you choose Hal? He had to be the worst choice in the world."

"I didn't. You did," he answered, "_I_ was going to search for someone heroic to give the powers to. Someone selfless and disgustingly good." he pointed at her. "If you'd just given me the gun back, all this would have been avoided," he tells her petulantly.

"I guess," she examines the donut selection while gathering her thoughts, "But then we'd both still think Metro Man was dead, you'd be in prison again, and I wouldn't be here wearing your clothes." She looks over at him through her eyelashes.

He swallows the bite of donut in his mouth. "So, you're saying it turned out for the best after all?" he asks.

"I suppose so," she takes one of the coffee cups, stirs a couple of packets of sugar into it and takes a sip. Then she selects a plain glazed donut. Usually she chooses more sensible food for breakfast, but a couple of donuts occasionally won't hurt her. That reminded her, she should really get back to jogging in the mornings, now that the streets were safe again. "What are you working on?" She looks at the pad of paper he'd been writing on.

"I wanted to write a list of what I needed to do to resign as Evil Overlord without going back to prison."

"Why are there so many spiders?" she asks. The paper is covered, not in a neat to-do list, but with sketches of strange guns and spiders.

"I got distracted and started designing a gun that launches live spe-iders at people," he answers with some embarrassment.

"Ah," she says, keeping her face straight with some effort, "That doesn't really sound very useful."

He shrugs, "That's how most of my ideas start."

"As spider launchers?" she asks.

"Sort of," he agrees reluctantly, "See, I might think of a gun to launch spe-iders. Then I'll consider how to fire it without harming the arachnids. Then I'll think about how to safely store and load the spe-iders as ammunition. Then I'd consider which species would be the most evil. Then I might worry if the spe-ider silk would jam the mechanism. Then before you know it, I've designed a new cabling system made from synthetic spe-ider silk rope. Or I've thought of a way to use spe-ider venom to kill Metro Man." He pauses at that last thought, "Of course then I'd have to figure out how to get it into his impervious body, which is always a problem."

"You could make it an aerosol or slip it into his drink." she offers.

He blinks, "The drink won't work. I've tried it with other poisons. His digestive system doesn't seem susceptible to anything." He looked at her curiously, considering her idea. "But I wonder if an aerosol would work? I hadn't tried that." He strokes his black whiskers thoughtfully. "There's no telling if he's even vulnerable to spe-ider venom. But if he were, the lungs would be a perfect way to introduce it. How to trick him into breathing it, though? There's no way to force him to breath it if he suspects something. And he can move so fast, I can't just spray it in his face and expect that to work."

"He smokes cigars," she answers.

"What? I didn't know that." That didn't seem to fit with his wholesome goody-two-shoes image.

She shrugs, "Not often, but sometimes. You'd just have to get it into his cigars."

"That's-"

"Evil and not what we're supposed to be focusing on."

"Uh... Yes, of course," he mentally shakes himself, "No point in trying to kill him anymore, is there?" He laughs nervously, but sounds disappointed.

"No, not really," agrees Roxanne, then adds, with a grin, "Though, with what he pulled with faking his death and refusing to help, it's _very_ tempting."

He's startled by that, "Miss Ritchi, I think you have an evil streak in you."

"Most people do," she pops the last bite of her donut into her mouth, licking her fingers while she considers which one to choose next. _Something with chocolate_, she decides. "So, what's the plan for giving back the city?"

He considers the problem, absently sketching Metro Man smoking an exploding cigar. "I don't think I can just hijack the airwaves, announce that I quit, and then walk away. In its current state, the city would be defenseless."

"If you wait too long, Obama will send in the army and they'll root you out one way or another," she takes a chocolate-filled long-john and tears it in half before starting on it.

"Pft. I'm not afraid of the military. They still haven't managed to catch Bin Laden, and he did more damage than I ever did."

"True, but he hasn't taken over an entire American city. And he's better at hiding."

"I'm pretty good at hiding myself," he says with pride.

She points her donut at the ceiling, "Fake observatory on your roof."

"Fine," he pouts. She giggles.

"You know, you're not the first Evil Overlord to take over a city. The army has plenty of experience at dealing with it. I don't think you're going to be able to hold out long against a real siege. The only Evil Overlord in America that's ever lasted longer than a year is the one in Phoenix, and that's only because his undead horde voted him into office."

"Idiotic idea to allow zombies the right to vote," complains Megamind.

"Undead Americans," she corrects him.

"Necromancy is a disgusting practice. Do you know what Phoenix smells like now?"

"Unfortunately, yes." Suddenly she's not hungry anymore and she drops her donut in disgust, pushing it away from her for good measure.

"Okay, so, I'm probably stuck being Evil Overlord until I can arrange some sort of orderly transition back to the elected government." He flips to a new sheet of paper and begins to draw a brainbot with a shotgun blasting a zombie. He picks up a second pen in his left hand and begins simultaneously writing out specifications on the type of shot that would be best to use and the optimal target for maximum damage. Roxanne watches him use two pens at the same time and thinks that's the weirdest thing she's ever seen him do, and she's seen him do some pretty weird things. Oblivious to her scrutiny, he wonders if zombies will eat brainbots.

"How about you try for Benevolent Overlord for the remainder of your reign," she suggests.

He looks at her skeptically, "What's that involve?"

"Instead of randomly destroying things and terrifying the people, you'd keep everything running smoothly and protect the city."

"That sounds like work," he scowls.

"Hey, you're the one who seized power. With power comes responsibility." She places her elbow on the table and props her chin on her hand. "You should have planned ahead better."

"Fine." He flips the page and writes out _Megamind: Incredibly Handsome Benevolent Overlord and Master of all Metro City._ Then he begins to draw himself smiling graciously down at an adoring crowd. Was that supposed to be a halo around his head? "Well, the brainbots are already patrolling to keep crime down, I returned the stuff to the museum, the banks are open, emergency services are back, and I cleaned up the trash," he ticks off each item on his fingers proudly.

"Actually, the trash is all back, since you only dehydrated it and then it rained." He looks uncomfortable. Wasted time. He knew should have had the brainbots come along behind him and take all the cubes to the dump. But he'd been so busy with all his other plans, he'd forgotten about it. She continues, "The city trash collection hasn't been running since you took over, all the schools are closed, and so are most government agencies."

"Disobedient drones. I told them to keep doing whatever it was they normally did. You were there, remember?" he sighs, viciously stabbing a new donut to make it bleed raspberry jam, then licking the goo off his finger. "It's as if people don't take me seriously. Honestly, do I have to publically feed random citizens to my alligators to get the point across?" he gestures expansively, nearly knocking over his coffee.

Roxanne moves his cup to a safer location. "That wouldn't really be the actions of a _Benevolent_ Overlord. And you should try not to refer to the citizens as drones," Roxanne points out.

"How about if I just make an announcement that the vah-ca-shun's over and everyone better report to work on Monday like normal or they're fired."

"Vacation," she corrects, "And, actually, that would probably work. Be sure to authorize their supervisors to hire new workers to replace anyone who doesn't show up. There are also several city blocks that aren't really safe due to damages from your battle with Hal."

"That's easy. I'll just assign some brainbots to clear the rubble and make repairs."

"You should also hire some actual people to help with that. Go through the unions. They're politically powerful and it would be good to get them on your side."

"Evil is morally opposed to unions."

"Yes, but _good_ is concerned with worker's rights. And it will make you look good to be providing jobs to your citizens."

He sighs, "Of course. The worker drones must have fair wages and benefits," he concedes. "I suppose I should contact the Mayor to arrange a peaceful exchange of power."

"The Mayor fled the city," she answered, "I heard he's in Florida with his mistress. His wife's trying to track him down with divorce papers."

"Sleazy politician. At least I was honest about my immorality," He tears opens an alarming number of sugar packets and dumps their contents into his coffee cup before stirring it and taking a sip. He grimaces at the taste and adds more sugar.

Roxanne watches him without comment. "You probably need to contact the Deputy Mayor and the City Council, but that won't be easy. They've gone into hiding. They're trying to arrange a coup and they're afraid you'll murder them if you find out about it. It might be better if I contacted them for you, kind of smooth things over."

He's slightly surprised to hear that anyone on the council has enough backbone to think of that. Obviously, his surveillance techniques were not thorough enough. "That sounds like a good idea."

"Also, I think we need to talk to Wayne," she says.

"Why?" Though he no longer exactly hates his rival, he doesn't really like him either. His recent behavior has only served to confirm Megamind's poor opinion of the former hero.

Roxanne explains, "If we can get him to reveal himself to a few key people and put in a good word for you, it would probably go a long way towards keeping you out of prison. If we bargain right, I'm hoping we can even get you a pardon. Then you can live like a normal person for once."

_Me? Normal?_ he thinks, _Yeah, right._ "It'll take more than that. I'm still me. I can't even legally hold a job."

"Why not?" she asks.

"My emigration status. I'm an illegal alien," he smirks.

"You're kidding."

"No. I didn't exactly arrive here on a tourist visa."

"But, wait," Roxanne knows little about the emigration system except that it seemed designed to make it as difficult as possible for people who came without the proper papers to ever gain legal status. How would an emigrating space alien _ever_ be legalized? "Why didn't Wayne have that problem?"

"He was adopted by the Scotts. Legally it's as if he were born here."

"And no one adopted you."

_Who'd adopt a little blue boy from a prison?_ he thinks, "That's right. On the bright side, they can't deport me," he sips his coffee, thinking it's still a little bitter.

"Huh. You really do have the worst luck, don't you?"

"You have no idea," he confirms. Honestly, it sometimes seemed that the entire universe had been conspiring against him.

"Hmm. Maybe you can be granted asylum or something. I think we need to talk to a lawyer."

"I agree."

"Okay. So, today, you need to make the announcement telling everybody to get back to work. Then you need to get those brainbots to start with the repairs and talk to the unions. I need to clean up my apartment, then I'll start researching lawyers and get in contact with the deputy mayor and city council. How about I come by tomorrow for lunch and we can figure out what to do after that."

He nods. "Would you like me to help you with your apartment?"

"No. I'm going to have to talk to the police about it and I think you still need to avoid them for awhile. Plus, Mom'll be there. I don't think she's ready to meet you yet. Let me talk to her and get her used to the idea first. I really dropped a bomb, telling her like that."

"Will she try to change your mind?" Megamind wonders how much influence her mother has on Roxanne's decisions. He hopes Roxanne won't change her mind.

"Of course," she answers unconcerned, "But I know how to handle it. It's not like it's the first time she's disagreed with my choice in boyfriends. She's not the only one that will disapprove, though. Everyone thinks I was dating Metro Man _and_ they think you killed him. I can convince my family that he's not dead, but I'll need proof to convince the public and Wayne is _not_ going to give us that. I won't be very popular when it comes out that I'm seeing you now. Some people are going to think I'm more evil than you are."

"Come again?" _How on earth could Roxanne be more evil than me_, he thinks, _That's absurd._

"Well, who's more evil? The supervillain who finally kills his long-time superhero rival? Or the superhero's girlfriend who _betrays_ her boyfriend to help the supervillain kill him? You're just a villain. I'm a traitor."

"But, you never betrayed him," he is still confused.

"I told Metro Man we were in the abandoned observatory, enabling you to trap him in copper."

"Yes, but that's because I tricked-"

"And I've been helping you lure him into your traps for years."

"Yes. Because I kidnapped-"

"Who besides the two of us, Minion, and maybe Wayne, knows that I wasn't a willing participant?" she pauses while he takes in that statement. He looks very serious all of a sudden. She continues, "Until now, there's no motive for me to want him dead, so I'm not a suspect. When people find out I'm with you, though, all of a sudden, I have motive. I become an accomplice."

"But, that doesn't make sense. Why would you even _want_ to kill Metro Man?"

She shrugs. "Two reasons off the top of my head. First, you hate him. So, if I'm really with you then I might just automatically hate the same people you hate. I just want him dead for whatever reason it is that you want him dead," she gestures vaguely into the air with one hand, "We're just both evil. Second, perhaps things weren't all sunshine and roses between Wayne and me. What if he was abusive? What if he told me he'd kill me if I ever left him?"

Megamind expression darkens, "If he did, I'd..." but he doesn't know what he could do. His rival is invincible.

She chuckles, "Exactly. Not like anyone could stop him, right? I probably couldn't even hide from him. We're actually _very_ lucky that he's the good guy. Can you imagine if _he_ was the one that had been raised in prison?" she shakes her head at that hypothetical possibility and Megamind, for once in his life, is almost glad of the hand that fate had dealt him. Things truly could have been much worse. "If he was hurting me and you actually managed to find a way to kill him, then you almost come out the hero." She sips her coffee, noticing that Megamind still looks troubled. "Relax," she tells him, "Wayne never did any such thing. He's always been a perfect gentleman towards me. I'm just thinking of hypothetical motives."

He's relieved, "There's always Stockholm Syndrome. I kidnapped you so many times, you just couldn't resist my evil charms any longer," he leers at her, taking a sip from his coffee.

"Well, tie a girl up enough times, and she's bound to start wanting more," she teases. Megamind spews his coffee across the table. Roxanne laughs at him and they each grab some paper napkins and start mopping up the mess. He wonders if there was any truth to that. Did Roxanne _like_ to be tied up? His face starts to turn lavender as he thinks of what he could have done to her if he'd thought she'd been willing. Though personally inexperienced, he did grow up in a prison. He knows what a man could do to a helpless woman if he wants to. Some of the possibilities were quite intriguing, and considerably less evil if the woman was actually consenting. With some effort, he clears his throat and forces his mind to less interesting thoughts. Roxanne, amused at his reaction, moves on to a less suggestive possibility. "Or maybe you just brainwashed me. Regardless of my motives, it _is_ kind of suspicious that I've been supposedly dating him for more than 5 years and I never married him. I mean, why not? There must have been something wrong, right?"

He nods, "Yes, I'd actually started to wonder about that myself towards the end. But I'm not familiar with dating customs. I figured it was just a long engagement or something. Maybe Mr. Goody-two-shoes was just being impeccably proper. I didn't know. I was just relieved that you hadn't married him yet. The idea of you...actually..._with_ him." he's disgusted by the thought, "It made me feel sick."

Roxanne giggles, "You should have heard some of the nasty speculation I heard from the women at work. I was always a little scared of the whole idea. I mean, he'd leave bruises just picking me up sometimes. I can imagine what might happen if we'd actually..." She shakes herself. "I'm not sure there'd even be such a thing as _safe_ sex with him. I mean, he can actually kill someone by accident if he's not paying attention. That's really not how I'd choose to die."

"Gah! Can you please never bring up that topic ever again? Some very disturbing mental images are now burned permanently into my brain!" He scrubs at his eyes with his palms, as if trying to rid himself of the images, "I think you've scarred me for life."

She starts to giggle uncontrollably, her hand over her mouth, "Can you imagine the obituary?"

"Uh, Stop it!" he begs, "I do _not_ want to think of you with _him_. _Ever._"

She thinks he's cute. For someone who prides himself on being so evil, he is actually strangely innocent. "Don't worry, I never was."

_Back on topic_, Megamind thinks, _Gah!, someone hit me with the forget me stick!_ "Okay, so you're worried that you're going to be charged with conspiracy to commit murder?"

"It's possible, but there isn't any real evidence. So, at most they might hold me for a day hoping I'll incriminate myself." she shrugged, "Besides, I'm sure you'd break me out if they actually managed to convict me of anything." Megamind makes a mental note to revise some of his prison escape plans to work for the women's wing of the prison. "I'm more worried about public opinion. I am apparently dating my late boyfriend's murderer. I'm going to get all sorts of negative attention. Hate mail. Death threats..."

"You're concerned about your safety?" Megamind is worried. His mind runs through the possibilities and arrives at a conclusion he doesn't like, "I can't put you in that position, Roxanne. We..." he looks down at his hands, "We can't be together."

"Hey, stop that," she grabs his hands, pink skin against blue, "I'm not going to let anyone else tell me who I can and can't date. Besides, I figure it's too late to worry about it anyway. Things already look suspicious."

"What do you mean?" He meets her gaze. He looks hopeless.

"I mean, on live TV, Hal called you my hero and I called for you, by name, to rescue me. I said that I admired your persistence and that that I needed _you_. That doesn't really sound like something I'd do if I were just your terrified little victim, scared to death of you, does it? If that were the case, I'd probably just be begging for somebody, anybody to come save me. Then you risked your life to save me and you hugged me and spun me around by the fountain afterwards. Face it, spaceman, it already looks like I'm with you." She squeezes his hands encouragingly, "As far as I'm concerned, we're in this together. Lucky for me, I actually _want_ to be with you. Wouldn't this be awkward if I just thought you were some freaky blue criminal who wouldn't leave me alone?

"I am some freaky blue criminal, Roxanne," he says quietly.

"No you're not. You're my brave, funny, brilliant Megamind."

He smiles at her sadly, not entirely willing to believe her, "How are we going to do this if everyone is going to hate us?"

She picks up his pad of paper, turns to a new page, and starts writing out her plan. "Presentation, Megamind. We're going to make you a superhero."

0o0o0o0o0oo0

Megamind walks her to her car and watches as she drives off, not turning away until she is well out of sight. Then he returns to the lair to make preparations for the tasks ahead of him in the coming days. For the first time in a very long time he is truly happy.

**I got the motive of an abusive Metro Man from Dragon's Lover1's story **_**Bad to be Good**_**. If you haven't read it already, you should. I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for the next chapter. **

**It was important for me to show that, once she decides she wants to be with him, she's beside him all the way.  
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**I'd like to note that both when I was writing this and in the time period this scene was set, Bin Laden was still alive and, after such a long time, everyone figured we'd never get him. So, um.. yeah. That's why Megs isn't impressed with the military's ability to take him down. He should be, though. In a universe where superheros and supervillains are real and even somewhat common, the military _would_ know how to deal with them. Maybe Megs' slave army can vote him into office. heh?**

**I actually looked up US immigration stuff. It's extremely complicated, especially for illegal aliens. I'm so glad I was born here. I think his only choice would be to be granted asylum, but with his criminal record, that might be difficult. The only positive is that he really can't be deported. **

**The spe-ider launcher and the zombies made me giggle. I hope you liked them too. **

**Reviews make me happy. **


	4. Cleaning Up

Roxanne takes a deep breath and opens the door to her apartment. She stares around herself at the damages. It's worse than she remembered. Her shoes crunch on broken glass as she steps inside and she closes the door behind her. _Where to start?_ she wonders. She takes out the disposable camera she'd picked up at a drug store on the way home. She begins to take pictures of the damages for the insurance company.

First the living room, with its broken couch, scattered and torn books, splintered DVD collection, and busted television. In one corner, her desk holds the melted remains of her computer. All her neatly stored work files are destroyed, torn or burned beyond use and littering the floor. Stray strings hang from her ceiling, the remains from her attempt to recreate Megamind's notes. All the glass in her picture frames are shattered, many of them laying on the floor, the pictures destroyed. The ones that are still on the wall have been used for target practice, knives from her kitchen sticking in them seemingly at random, sometimes up to the hilt in her drywall. Apparently super powers hadn't given Hal any particular skill at throwing knives, but he made up for it with his laser beams. Her hallway mirror lies in pieces on the carpet. The windows and glass doors to her balcony are smashed, a pleasant breeze ruffling the litter. Laser burns are everywhere.

She opens her utility closet, relieved to find it untouched. Her washing machine, vacuum cleaner, and storage boxes are undisturbed. _Well, that's something._

All the cabinets are open in her kitchen. Some are torn from their hinges. All her plates and glasses are shattered on the floor. Her wall-mounted microwave has been pulled from its place and lay in ruins on the linoleum. Her tupperware is melted. Her pots and pans have been bent and torn. The door to her refrigerator is ripped from its hinges, her food spoiled. More laser burns. She continues through the apartment taking pictures.

Her dining room is not so bad, by comparison. This is only because it had less in it to damage. Only the broken table and four chairs, three of which are now useless. Hal had burned the word _BITCH_ into her wall.

She moves down the hallway. Her bathroom was not spared. The mirror is smashed, the contents of her medicine cabinet scattered, and the shower rod pulled from the wall. Luckily, he hadn't damaged the fixtures. She wouldn't have to deal with plumbing repairs or water damages.

The bedroom is the worst. Her closet stands open, a single sweep of laser vision having effectively ruined every outfit hanging from the rod. A second sweep had the same effect on most of her shoes. Her dresser drawers have been ransacked. He seemed to have been especially thorough destroying the contents of her underwear drawer. She is horrified at the thought of Hal pawing through her intimates, but the proof is here. Not a single piece of underwear survives in one piece. He'd been less thorough with her other drawers, but few items were spared. She finds two undamaged T-shirts and one pair of jeans. That is all she can salvage. That and the contents of her laundry hamper, which he'd apparently overlooked.

The bed frame, mattress, and bedding is torn in two like a stack of paper. The fluff from her pillows is scattered across the room. More laser beam graffiti on the bedroom wall names her _Megamind's Whore_. How did Hal know she'd been seeing Megamind? Or was he just guessing? Had he seen them in the restaurant? Later in the rain? Or the next day leaving her apartment on the way to Metro Man's hideout? It's creepy thinking of him watching her unseen.

She feels something underfoot and bends to retrieve the object. A silver picture frame with its glass missing holds a photograph taken on Halloween night more than a year ago. It shows her dressed as Megamind and sitting in his chair with a brainbot in her lap. Minion and Megamind stand beside her. The picture is obscured by laser burns across it reading _SLUT_. _That explains it_, she thinks.

That's the reason why she always kept this photograph in here, safe from prying eyes. She thought that not even Wayne would understand the almost-friendship she'd had with the villain back then, and she didn't want to have to explain herself when it was all perfectly innocent.

She hadn't _liked_ Megamind, at least not romantically. He was egotistical and inconsiderate. He was also the bad guy. But she'd never hated him either and some small part of her hadn't minded her kidnappings that much. They were inconvenient, but they broke up the monotony of her day-to-day life and were usually entertaining, at least. To be honest, she had always found the man interesting and even handsome, though she never admitted it to anyone. He had amazing eyes.

The Halloween photograph was one of only two personal mementos she had of Megamind. She treasured it as a rare snapshot of a purely fun, friendly moment she'd shared with the villain. She'd nearly thrown it away after he'd murdered Metro Man, sure that she'd deluded herself into thinking he'd had any redeeming qualities at all. And again it had nearly been pitched the night she'd come home in the rain. But somehow she couldn't bring herself to get rid of it, settling instead for merely stuffing it into a convenient drawer, out of sight. She wished she had thrown it out, if only to prevent Hal from seeing it.

She finds her other Megamind souvenir as she walks around the bed. One of Megamind's capes is lying on the floor, torn to ribbons. It was the same one she wore in the photograph. She'd won it in a bet with Megamind and she'd always kept it hanging on the back of her bedroom door, out of sight of anyone but herself for the same reason she'd hidden the picture. She reflected that it's presence there probably incriminated her in Hal's eyes, confirming his judgment of her. He wouldn't have known how she'd acquired the cape and probably assumed that Megamind had left it there himself. In her bedroom. He must have thought she was Megamind's lover. That would explain why Hal was so angry at both of them. He thought she'd rejected him in favor of Megamind. That was why he wouldn't listen to her when she'd tracked him down in the city and why he knew she'd be the perfect bait. _Come on Roxy, call for your _hero_ to come rescue you, _he'd told her.

How was it that the images the two men presented to the world could be so different from their true selves? She knew better than to judge a book by its cover, yet was still surprised at just how misleading those covers had been. Hal, who seemed a bumbling, harmless, normal guy had turned out to be a monster. Yet Megamind, an alien and career supervillain, was really just the sort of smart, dorky guy she usually fell for. Admittedly, he was more eccentric than anyone else she'd ever known but, if anything, it made him that much more interesting.

She smiles as she remembers the way they'd worked together this morning on their plan for his transition to superhero. They made a good team. He really was stunningly intelligent, something she often forgot because his impulsiveness tended to sabotage his work. Though she was not on his level, she was still quite bright and she understood people better than he did. She also had much more common sense and could rein him in when he got carried away. She'd laid out her plan, which was solid and workable, and he'd helped her refine it. They went back and forth, pointing out problems and suggesting solutions, flushing out sketchy details and suggesting possible alternatives for situations that may go several directions. They even worked out several possible contingency plans, in case things went south fast and they needed to cut their losses. One of his projects would be to forge travel documents to allow them and Minion to skip the country in disguise if it came to that, something she hoped wouldn't happen. In the end, the plan was stronger than what either could have come up with on their own and she was confident it would work.

She sighs dreamily, praying that the small, insistent feeling that had been growing in the back of her mind since yesterday was true. That she and Megamind fit together. She is hanging a lot on that feeling. She is gambling her reputation and her career that she is right about him. If he turns on her, she'll be in big trouble. She hopes she isn't being an idiot. Somewhere in the deepest part of her heart she knows, in a way that defies all logic and rational thought, that they are two parts of the same soul. But her head doesn't entirely trust her heart and so she worries.

_Don't go borrowing trouble_, she thinks, _One step at time._ Calming herself, she loads her laundry into the washer and turns it on. Then she calls the police, her insurance agent, and the superintendent for her complex. She changes into her salvaged clothes and tosses Megamind's borrowed things into the wash with the rest of the laundry. Her mother will be arriving soon and things will probably go smoother if she isn't wearing his clothes.

0o0o0o0o0o

Megamind paces thoughtfully back into his lair, his eyes barely registering his surroundings, he is so deep in thought. He stands for a moment, absently stroking a brainbot who'd come to investigate Daddy's return. He isn't sure how long he'd been standing there when Minion's voice interrupts him. "Sir?" the cautious fish begins.

"Agh!" cries Megamind, jumping two feet into the air, spinning towards Minion and reaching for his de-gun before he realizes what's happening. "Don't _do_ that Minion!" he says as he returns his weapon to its holster.

"Sorry, sir. But you've been standing there for 10 minutes." The fish is concerned, "Is there something wrong?"

A dreamy smile appears on the blue man's face, "No, nothing could be better, Minion." He blinks slowly, his eyes glazing again as his thoughts swallow him.

Minion watches this, unsure of what to do. He knows this introspection is due to Miss Ritchi's visit, but he isn't quite sure what had happened. His boss was obviously happy, though. So, Minion decides to risk just coming out and asking. "Sir, what happened between you and Miss Ritchi?"

That brings him back to the present, "Minion, I can hardly believe it's true, but I finally got the girl. After all these years she actually wants to be with me. Can you believe it?"

How to answer that question? Just yesterday morning Minion would have sworn it was impossible. But what a difference a day made. He and his boss had risked everything to save Miss Ritchi and everyone had nearly died. Only once in his life had he ever been more scared. That was when he watched the black hole swallow his home planet and he'd felt it's gravitational pull sucking at their pod as they escaped.

He remembered the matching smiles on both his boss and Miss Ritchi's faces as they slept together last night. Something had changed. With both of them. He hadn't seen his boss look that content in years and Miss Ritchi had come to him of her own free will. She'd never done that before, unless you counted the time she snuck into the lair to find out what Megamind was up to. But that was different because she'd been snooping, not visiting. Did he believe that she wanted to be with the boss now? He knows what he is supposed to answer and he hopes it's the truth. "Yes, sir. Why wouldn't she? You're an amazing person, sir. She's lucky to have you."

"Yes, she is, isn't she?" he agrees dreamily. Then he pulls himself together and grins maniacally at Minion, "Roxanne is my girlfriend!" he crows, "Ha-Ha-Ha! She's mine!" He climbs up the front of Minion's robot suit to reach his dome and hugs it enthusiastically, but briefly, before leaping down again and spinning in a circle, "She's mine! She's mine! She's mine!" His enthusiasm needs something more to express itself. He looks around, his eyes landing on one of his many spinning chairs which he promptly leaps into, sending it careening across the floor and turning satisfactorily. "In your _face_ Metro Mahn!" he calls in the general direction of the ceiling, pointing that way for good measure, "She never wanted you! She chose me!" The chair stopped with him sprawled sideways across its arms, his legs dangling off one side and his head hanging over the other, almost upside-down. "I am so happy Minion! If I'd known this is what it feels like to be the good guy I'd never have ever tried being evil. I feel wonderful! I feel like I want to do nice things for people and make them happy. Isn't that an odd thing to want? Ah, well. I don't care. It's how I feel!" He sighed one more time and then shook himself out of his reverie, "But I can't moon about all day! We have work to do! A new plan to carry out! Come Minion, I'll need your help!" With that he stood up and marched resolutely into his planning room with Minion hurrying along behind, slightly worried by the mention of a new plan.

0o0o0o0o0o

A police officer knocks on Roxanne's door, responding to her call. He looks at the damages, asks a few questions, and takes her statement. He's startled to see the graffiti on her bedroom wall and asks disapprovingly if she's involved with Megamind. She answers, "Does it matter?"

She's a local celebrity, and the officer feels protective of her. He knows her kidnapping history and is aware that she's probably more familiar with Megamind than anyone except the Warden and that weird fish-robot of his. However, Megamind is Megamind, and the officer still fears for her safety, "Be careful, Miss Ritchi," he warns her, "He's not stable. Ever since he killed Metro Man, he's been unpredictable. I wouldn't like to see you get hurt."

She smiles. _Unpredictable. Yes, he certainly has been that._ "Don't worry, Officer. Megamind would never hurt me."

"I wouldn't bet my life on that if I were you, Miss. There's no Metro Man to save you now."

"I'm aware of that," she says coldly, "Is there anything else you need?"

"No, Miss. My report should be available tomorrow. I'll be sure you get a copy."

"Thank you." she says. She hesitates before adding, "I do appreciate your concern. It's just not necessary."

The officer wants to say more. Over the years, he'd watched reports of how Metro Man had rescued her from Megamind time and again. He'd seen pictures of her on the superhero's arm in the society pages of the newspaper. He'd been scared for her when she'd been suspended over alligator pits, tied under swinging blades, and countless other diabolical threats. It makes him feel sick now to think that she might be involved with her late boyfriend's murderer. It seems wrong on a fundamental level. Not only is he evil, a villain, and a murderer, but he's not even human. What sort of woman would invite someone like that into her bed? But the officer is a professional. He's used to encountering people on a daily basis who have made choices he disagrees with. He pushes his personal opinion aside, nods politely, and tells her to have a good day.

She sighs as she closes the door and leans against it with her eyes closed.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

Minion looks over the plan his boss handed him. It is listed out neatly in Roxanne's handwriting with notes in both their hands added here and there where clarification is needed. He feels a stab of jealousy that his boss had been making plans with Miss Ritchi without even consulting him, but he pushes that feeling aside as unworthy of a minion. The fish continues to read and is surprised by the plan's cohesion and the way it takes into account so many variables. Best of all is its total lack of unnecessary embellishments that were too often the downfall of his boss' greatest schemes. And it isn't evil! In fact, his boss is planning to become a superhero! Pride washes over the fish. Finally a goal that he could be proud of. "I think this will actually work, sir," he says with amazement. This wasn't the meaningless affirmation he would be expected to give to an evil plan that wouldn't quite certainly fail, but a heartfelt, truthful assessment of a very strong plan with a better chance of succeeding than not. He wonders if this was what it felt like to the be the minion of a successful villain, then quickly corrects himself with the unfamiliar idea of being the minion to a hero instead. That feels good. Like after years of swimming in the dark, someone had finally turned on a light.

0o0o0o0o00o0

Someone raps sharply on Roxanne's door. She opens it to find, not just her mother, as expected, but her sister Rose. Her mother's face is pinched with disapproval, but Rose is grinning like a Cheshire Cat. Obviously, her mother has told her about Megamind. Roxanne sighs and steps aside to let them in.

Rose was always the wild girl of the family, getting pregnant at 17 and bouncing from boyfriend to boyfriend, mostly bad boys, for the next six years. She'd finally settled down with a biker named Michael who Roxanne liked. Despite his motorcycle and tattoos, he was a good man with a steady job who obviously loved Rose and her daughter, Clara. Roxanne thought they made a good family. Their mother didn't approve because the couple refused to actually get married, insisting that they didn't need the piece of paper. The issue was a particular sore point now because Rose had recently announced she was pregnant again.

Roxanne was sure Rose was loving the fact that, for once, she wasn't the bad daughter of the family. Dating the city's Evil Overlord was, in one stroke, worse than all the rebellion, irresponsibility, and promiscuity the younger sister had ever managed.

The two women are wearing sensible old clothing and are carrying extra trash bags, brooms, and dust pans. They're ready to help Roxanne with the cleanup. Roxanne is grateful for that, even though she knows they'll expect to hear the story of her and Megamind in payment for their work. Rose's face falls when she sees the extent of the damage, "Woah..." she says, momentarily at a loss for words. It's worse than she expected.

Unfortunately, Roxanne's mother is far from speechless. She glares at the room, tsking at Roxanne, "This is what comes from associating with a supervillain, Roxanne. All they bring is destruction. You've been lucky until now. Metro Man's always been there to save you. But now that he's quit, look what's happened? And here you are _dating_ Megamind? You've got to be insane."

As their mother pauses to take a breath, Rose pipes in, "Well, I think it's about time! Abducted by an alien for all those years and he never once probed you..." She shakes her head sadly and winks mischievously at her big sister.

"Rose!" objects Roxanne, her face turning bright red. Rose was always very bold about discussing sex, mostly, Roxanne always thought, to irritate her mother who is now looking even more stern and disapproving than before. "I cannot believe you just said that!"

"I don't see why not. Since when have I been a prude? Speaking of which, what was it like? Was he like a normal guy or was he all weird and alien?"

"I wouldn't know, Rose. I haven't had an opportunity to find out," Roxanne answers primly.

"No way! Mom said you slept with him last night."

"I did _sleep_ with him." she says, "I did not have _sex_ with him."

Her mother is relieved, "Well, that's something at least."

"Aw, why is it with you even sleeping with a space alien supervillain is _boring_?" Rose asks, deeply offended by the reality of Roxanne's love life.

"I only asked him out last night, Rose. Unlike you, I'm not in the habit of ripping a guy's clothes off the first time I'm alone with him." Among some sisters, this observation would be an insult, but between Roxanne and Rose it was an acknowledged fact. Rose always slept with a man on the first date. "I'm sure things will get more exciting before long. In fact, we're kind of expecting it to." Roxanne explains the problems she is expecting to have with dating her late boyfriend's murder and being accused of being Megamind's accomplice all these years. Then she rants for awhile about Metro Man faking his death and abandoning the city. Next she talks about the plan to turn Megamind from the city's Evil Overlord to its new superhero. All through this discussion, the women are loading trash bags with Roxanne's ruined possessions and picking up broken glass. "It's going to be a lot of work and there's so much that could go wrong. But we think it's about the only way we can be together without skipping town. If the city hates him, what kind of a life can he have here?"

"Why bother?" asked her mother, "He's dug himself into a hole, let him crawl out on his own."

"Mom, he can't do this on his own. It's too much. I have to help him with this. Even if I wasn't dating him, it would still be the right thing to do. I figure the city's half to blame for what happened anyway. He was raised in a prison. How could he _not_ grow up to be a criminal?"

"And this is the man you want to be with? A space alien raised in a prison?"

"Neither of those things were his fault, Mom. When you meet him, you'll understand. He's not some evil supervillain. He's a really great guy."

"Why can't either of you girls fall for normal men?" gripes the girls' mother.

Rose shrugs, "I guess we can't resist the leather and motorcycles."

"Oh, did you see the clips of Megamind's hoverbike?" Roxanne asks.

"No, but Michael did. He was positively green with envy..."

The women spent several more hours gossiping and cleaning up what they could of Roxanne's apartment. By the time they were done, the floors were clean, the rooms were nearly bare, and they'd taped trash bags over the broken windows. Roxanne's super called and promised to come the next day to repaint the walls and make whatever other repairs were necessary. Rose offered to put her up for the next couple of days and Roxanne accepted. She doubted she'd have nightmares tonight and she thought she probably shouldn't get into the habit of sleeping with Megamind at this stage in their relationship. Taking one last look around the apartment, she stepped into the hallway, locking the door behind her.

o0o0o0o0ooo0o0

Later that night, a figure floats into Roxanne's apartment from the balcony. He walks through the rooms, looking at the damages and graffiti, "Oh, Roxy," he whispers, "I'm so sorry."

**So, I hadn't really meant to put that reference to the Halloween picture and cape, but it just seemed to give Hal even further reason to hate Roxy and Megamind so I couldn't resist. Really, the items were perfectly innocent, but like so many things in Roxy's life lately, it looked bad.** **If you haven't read the story, the picture and cape are from from my story _The Villain's Cape_. I've decided that, for my storyline, the alternate ending is what actually happened. Click on my profile to find it. You'll see what I'm talking about. **

**I'm kind of fast-tracking their relationship, but not unrealistically. I've decided, once they actually decide to date, that they turn out to be one of those couples that knows immediately that they're right together. I know that situation's not a romantic fiction, either. My husband and I were like that, so I remember how that feels (very strange, wonderful, and right). If they're one of _those_, that will also help explain why she's so dedicated to him so early. She already knows, after last night and this morning, that he's her _one_, but she doesn't quite trust it because it's so new and she's afraid she's deluding herself or that he may not feel the same way. Personally I don't believe in soulmates. It's too much like fate and destiny for real life. But I also don't believe in blue aliens, and here I am writing about him. So, I'm putting it in anyway. It's nice, sappy fluff. **

**And yes, that's Metro Man at the end. I'm not sure why I added him. It just seemed to close out the chapter nicely. They'll have to have a discussion with him soon, so we'll get to see more of him eventually.  
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**Review if you like it!  
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	5. Megamind's Speech

**If this chapter comes out boring, I'm sorry. I'm essentially writing a political speech for Megamind, and those are not exactly filled with laughs. The next chapter will have Megs and Roxy chatting and interacting with the public, so that should be better. **

It was a simple matter to hijack the airwaves. It was only slightly more difficult to take over the city's cable and satellite programming. These were techniques Megamind and Minion were familiar with from many years of using the city's communication channels to call Metro Man into their traps. It was always, of course, far simpler to just call Metro Man via cell phone or even by shouting his name. However, simple was never a term that applied to any of Megamind's plans, one of the main reasons they so consistently failed. What a waste it would be to spend months putting together a really clever evil plot if no one but the hero and the damsel got to see it! It would be cheating the public of its entertainment and himself of the infamy.

Today the damsel was not part of the show and he had no need to contact the hero, who was pretending to be dead. This time he would address the drones of Metro City directly and hope he could plant the seed of an idea in their collective minds. The idea that he was a changed man who had the city's best interests at heart for a change. It was helpful that it was true, but his history and the fact that he was still their Overlord would count against him.

He'd debated his outfit. He really wanted one of his more impressive capes, something like the Black Mamba, which had not survived his first battle with Titan. His confidence always increased in direct proportion to the size of his collar and spikes. But Roxanne had insisted he wear one of his everyday capes, with a collar that reached merely to the top of his ears with only modest shoulder spikes. The goal today was not to be intimidating.

He'd memorized his speech earlier, a simple task for someone with his brain capacity, and now sat behind his large desk at City Hall. All the stolen items from the museums, banks, etc. had been returned days ago. The nameplate which named him _Evil Overlord_ had been removed, since he was trying not to be evil. The curtains were drawn over the impressive window behind him to hide the view of the destroyed Metro Man Museum.

Megamind licked his fingers and shaped his eyebrows, adjusted his collar, and settled himself facing the camera, making a conscious effort not to steeple his fingers, to smirk, or to make any other evil gesture. Minion nodded to his boss, the signal that he was now on-air.

"Citizens of Metrocity! This is Megamind: Benevolent Genius and Overlord of all Metrocity!

"I wanted to talk to you all about some changes facing the city in the coming weeks and months. As one might guess, the responsibilities of an Overlord are different than those of a supervillain and I appreciate your patience with me as I work through the transition. Clearly, the widespread destruction and looting, though tremendously enjoyable and evil, were ill-advised. I have already returned all the items I stole except for the few I've misplaced or can't remember where they came from. My brainbots have also repaired most of the damages. I would like to formally apologize for the inconvenience my victory celebration may have caused the citizens of this fair city. In future I will avoid gratuitous destruction whenever possible. It is counter-productive to destroy a city one wishes to rule.

"I feel I also owe the city an apology for the years of terror and destruction caused by my epic battles of good vs. evil. Metro Mahn and I used this city as our playing field for far too long. The only thing I regret more than those wasted years is the way the city was left helpless and without a hero after I destroyed the abandoned observatory. I understand how deeply the citizens feel the loss of Metro Mahn and, for my own part, I wish I could return him to the city that loves him." Megamind was careful not to smile at the mental image of himself hauling Metro Man by the cape, kicking and screaming, back to the city. He really did wish he could do that. It would make so many things so much easier.

"It was for this goal, that I created Titan. He was meant to fill the void left by Metro Mahn. His choice to turn evil was as much a surprise and disappointment to me as it was to anyone else. I regret his creation and the damages we caused to the city. A fund has been set up for the families of the victims of Titan's brief reign of terror and the brainbots are already beginning to clear debris from downtown. The components used to create Titan, as well as the plans detailing the process, have been destroyed for security reasons. So, I hope we can all now put that ugly incident behind us.

"On the plus side, the events surrounding Titan's defeat have made me reevaluate my goals, both personal and professional. I find the idea of being the good guy intriguing and further acts of evil seem distasteful to me. The idea of being good and _defending_ the city is still new. However, it's obvious that the helpless people of this city need defending and what is an Overlord's job if not to keep his people secure? So, I am changing the direction of my administration from mindless destruction and terror to defense and responsible stewardship. Evil's been fun, but it's time for me to step up and be the _Benevolent_ Overlord this city needs.

"From this point on, I assure you that the city's safety is my first priority. Brainbot patrols are now keeping the streets safe, the police and emergency services have been restored, and I will personally see to removing any supervillain who dares to challenge this city. Criminals should be on alert that if they mess with Metrocity, they mess with Megamind.

"I'd like to assure members of the former city council and other government officials that I have no plans to imprison or assassinate them for their support of the small rebel groups forming in the city. Instead, I am looking forward to working with these representatives for the betterment of the city. In exchange, I would appreciate if they would halt further plans for coup attempts, at least until I've had a chance to meet with them to discuss plans for the future. I think they will find their plans surprisingly similar to my own in the long run and I see no reason to fight against each other when we share the common goal of a safe and thriving Metrocity.

"It's been brought to my attention that Metrocity now has an alarming unemployment problem. I do not wish to have our streets and parks overrun with homeless citizens, so I must address this issue.

"Some of this is your own fault, Metrocity. I believe one of my first decrees as your Overlord was that you, citizens, continue with all the normal things you normal people do. Yet, schools are closed, garbage goes uncollected, government offices are shuttered. I am willing to overlook your disobedience up until now. However, the vah-ca-shun's over! Citizens _will_ report to their places of employment as usual beginning Monday morning. Anyone who does not is hereby fired and their superiors are authorized to immediately hire replacements. Let's get this city running again, shall we?

"To further address the problem, I will be meeting with the city's union leaders later to arrange the hiring of new workers to handle the clean up and repair of the city's downtown and to perform long-delayed maintenance on the city's infrastructure. There will be jobs for those who want to work.

"As for what will come next? I will get back to you on that. Until then, I think we all have enough to focus on to get this city back on track. Have a wonderful afternoon, Metrocity!"

Minion released control of the city's communication network and the two friends left the building. The few people they passed on the way looked confused and wary, but no one screamed, ran, or tried to attack them. One young lady actually smiled at Minion. All things considered, it could have gone worse.

**I'm hoping I'll have more to post by the end of the week. **

**Review please. **


	6. Texting

**Okay, turns out I was ly-ing. Sorry. The _next_ chapter will have Megs and Roxy interacting with people. **

**This one is just a very short little exchange to tide you over until the next _real_ chapter, which is coming. I promise. I kinda got side-tracked by a plot bunny and had to write _Telepathic_ first.  
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i saw your speech. u were great. didnt call people drones once. :) staying w sister tonight. see you tomorrow. -R

You could stay here again. -M

very tempting. better not. rose insists. she wants 2 gossip. -R

Gossip about what? -M

about u, silly. -R

What will you tell her? -M

none of your business. :p -R

I could kidnap you. :) -M

not tonight, pls. youll see me tomorrow. -R

I miss you. -M

miss u 2. good night, spaceman. -R

Good Night, Roxanne. -M


	7. Lunch at the Cafe

**Betcha thought I abandoned this, didn't you? **

Roxanne sits at a table at a sidewalk cafe in a trendy part of downtown Metro City that hadn't been touched by the destruction of the last few days. Faint traces of blue graffiti can be found here and there, but otherwise it seems very normal. The crowd is still thin, since so many people had fled the city and those who remained are still wary of coming out into the open. Still, she shares the patio dining area with a few brave citizens.

Her table is away from the other occupied ones. It's situated in a corner so that she can sit with her back to a wall and not worry about anyone sneaking up on her from behind. This is not normally something she would worry about, but considering who she's meeting here, she thinks the precaution is sensible.

She is also glad that, in this position, no one can see the screen to her laptop. She's shopping for replacement clothing and she doesn't really want the entire restaurant to witness her paging through the selection at her favorite lingerie store. Luckily, she knows exactly which brand and style she is looking for so she can order online and avoid spending an afternoon bra shopping, something no woman enjoys. Finding what she wants, she enters the quantity and adds it to her cart. She continues shopping and adds some panties and other intimates to her order before starting through the check-out process. She blushes slightly as she imagines Megamind seeing her in some of the things she's just selected. Will the relationship last that long? She hopes so. On a whim she pages back and adds something black and lacy to the order before submitting it.

She switches windows to her email program and clicks "Sync" to bring up her latest messages. In addition to the order confirmation, she's hoping it will bring up new mail from several people she's waiting to hear back from. She reads through the list and is disappointed. The order confirmation is there. Also three advertisements for sales at various online retailers that she rarely visits, one email summarizing the day's posts on a discussion forum she follows for professional reasons, two Viagra advertisements, and one offer to set her up with singles in her area. Nothing of interest. She's not surprised since she had checked it only ten minutes earlier and didn't really expect anything to change in that time period.

This new laptop was the first thing she'd purchased after she'd left her apartment the day before. Between her job and the work she'd volunteered to do to help Megamind, she can't afford to be without a computer for long. She'd stayed up late last night configuring it the way she wanted it and getting used to the quirks of the latest Windows operating system. She wonders idly what operating system Megamind uses on his computers at the lair. She knew he wasn't running Windows 7 or any other Microsoft product. She'd lay down money that he'd designed his own OS from scratch. She wonders what he'd named it. OS of Doom? Evil OS? She smiles.

She and Rose had spent an enjoyable afternoon shopping yesterday and had purchased replacements for most of her ruined furniture and houseware items. Since she had to replace essentially everything, she decided to switch to a primarily blue color scheme this time. After all, it had always been her favorite color since she was a little girl, so why not? Megamind didn't own the color blue. Rose wasn't buying that excuse, but didn't argue about it. She just kept smirking at her older sister in an annoying, knowing way that made Roxanne blush self-consciously. She did have enough self-control not to buy anything leather and to avoid black items when she could. She chose red for her accent color instead. Megamind doesn't use red at all. This gives her a small illusion of independence. But deep down, she isn't fooling herself. She has it bad.

She sighs and starts browsing through the media's reactions to Megamind's heroic win and his speech yesterday. As expected, the reactions are mixed. Some people believe the villain has redeemed himself. It is such a wonderful fairytale story that they want it to be true. Others don't care if he's changed or not. They can't forgive his years of terrorizing the city and his murdering Metro Man. They think he should still be in prison. Still others just can't believe that anyone can change themselves that drastically overnight and are bracing themselves for the next Evil Plan. Roxanne is not surprised to see speculation on her own role beginning to turn nasty, though she is pleased that it is still only a small part of the overall debate. In a few minutes, she knows, that will all change.

_Speak of the devil and he shall appear_, she thinks as she notices the sound of the small crowd change. There are gasps and the level of conversation increases. She looks up, smiling, to see Megamind stepping over the low wall that divides the outdoor dining area from the sidewalk. He beams at her as he catches her eye. A dozen brainbots swarm over his head and take up watchful positions around the dining area. More are visible at more discrete distances along the street. He sweeps his eyes over the area before taking the seat next to her, choosing the chair with its back to the wall perpendicular to her own. They lean in and greet each other with a brief kiss on the lips, which prompts gasps from the witnesses and hurried whispers. Roxanne is pleased to note at least one person saying "Awww" instead of whispering disapprovingly. That's something.

"I missed you," Megamind tells her, his face still mere inches from hers and his voice scarcely above a whisper.

"Me too," she answers in kind.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Not really, but no nightmares." She leans back into her chair, away from Megamind and he reluctantly mirrors her move. "My sister's guest bed isn't that comfortable. I'll be happy tomorrow when I can sleep in my own home again. I'm not looking forward to another night at Rose's. She's my sister, and I love her, but she's easier to take in small doses. But it's better than staying with my mom. Rose actually _approves_ of us dating." Roxanne grins at him, "She's been telling me for years I ought to get together with you."

"Wait. What? She was telling you to date the supervillain?" This surprises Megamind. What sort of sister was this Rose?

Roxanne shrugs, "She has a thing for bad boys in leather and she always thought being tied to a chair by a supervillain sounded kinky." She meets his eyes on that last word, smirking. "She was always disappointed on my behalf that you never took advantage of the situation."

Megamind made a peculiar coughing, choking sound and had to steal a sip from Roxanne's water glass to get himself under control. "Huh. I didn't know you had an eevil sister, Miss Ritchi."

"Oh, she's not evil. She's actually the nicest person you'll ever meet." She explains, "She's just not a _good_ girl. She lives by her own rules."

"You admire her," he observes.

"A little bit," she agrees, "It takes courage to do what you want and ignore what everyone else thinks. I don't know if I'm as brave as she is."

"Of course you are. You're dating me," he leans forward to whisper low into her ear, "Who knows what evil plans I have in store for you."

She giggles and whispers, "Later."

He leans back, an approving little groan escaping his lips. She _is_ a temptress. But she's right. They're in public. They need to behave themselves. He decides to change the subject. "How'd the clean-up go?"

"Pretty well. We cleaned up everything we could and the super's repairing the damages and painting over the graffiti today."

"How bad was it?" he asks seriously.

"Well, the good news is I get to buy all new stuff." She forces a smile.

"That bad?"

"Yeah." She rubs her hands over her face and takes a steadying breath. "It was. He was _really_ angry and he found some stuff that made things even worse."

"Oh?"

"He found that Halloween photo of us and Minion and took it entirely the wrong way," she recalls how he'd destroyed the image, burning the word SLUT across it. "He defaced it," she says simply, not going into exactly what he'd done. She looks upset, though, so Megamind has an idea of what happened.

"I'll make you another copy," he promises, leaning forward to take her hand in his own and squeezing it. "I can see how that picture could have been misinterpreted," he laughs, "I was _there_ and I had a hard time believing you hadn't worn that costume just for me. You looked good in my cape," his eyes twinkle as he remembers.

She smiles sadly, not meeting his eye, "He also found the cape."

"Ooo." She'd taken that cape from him when she'd won a bet years before. Like the picture, it was completely innocent. However, having it in her apartment without an obvious explanation of what it was doing there probably didn't look good.

"Hanging on a hook in my bedroom," she continues.

"Ah." _That would make it look even worse_, he thinks, _Hal had probably thought..._

"He thought we were lovers," she says, as if reading his mind, "He destroyed it."

"Yes, he would have. That explains a few things, actually. But why did you have my cape in your bedroom?"

She shrugs, her eyes on their entwined hands, "Because if I kept it out where people could see it, I'd have to constantly explain why I had it. And if I packed it away in a box somewhere, what would be the point of even having it?"

"What was the point of having it?" He isn't really sure why she'd taken it in the first place. Technically, her prize had been to deliver him to jail herself, not to steal his cape. But the police would have just confiscated it anyway, so he had been happy enough to let her keep it. He'd thought at the time that she'd just taken it to humiliate him more when she turned him in. He hadn't minded though, seeing her in it had been worth a few more days in prison.

She looked up at him, grinning smugly. "It was a souvenir of when I _finally_ beat you at your own game. Not just escaping or wrecking your plans. But _really_ beating you by using my head, no superheroes involved. The look on your face when you realized I won," she laughed, "It was precious. What was it you said? Something about my being the least stupid woman on the planet? Kind of a backhanded compliment, but I knew I'd gotten your attention. I noticed that you stopped making cracks about my puny human brain after that. I figured I'd impressed you."

"Yes, you did. I realized you were _much_ brighter than I gave you credit for. Up to that point I thought you were attractive, but I hadn't given any thought to your mind. You were a human, how smart could you be, right?" He is only half joking. He _had_ underestimated her intelligence because she was human. "But once I realized my error, you instantly became 6 times sexier."

She can't help laughing at him for that. It figured that someone that placed such importance on his own intelligence would be turned on by intelligence in others. Still, six times? That was silly.

"And, then of course, you _had_ taken my cape," he continues with a knowing gleam in his eye, "What were you planning to do with it? I couldn't help imagining you wearing it."

"Funny you say that. I did put it on sometimes. It was nice and swishy." She blushed. "I actually fell asleep on the couch wearing it the night I won it. The next time I saw Wayne he looked at me funny. I think he caught me through the window, though he'd never admit spying on me. I kept it in the bedroom after that," she giggled.

"But you still wore it sometimes? Alone in your bedroom?"

She didn't answer, but her grin said _yes_ very loudly.

"Interesting," he purrs, steepling his fingers evilly in front of him. "I have plenty of capes, Roxanne. You can take this one as a replacement, if you like," he offers, meaning the one he's wearing. He likes the idea of her sleeping in his cape, which is what he suspects she was doing with it.

She smiles at him shyly, "I'd like that." She takes a deep breath, searching for another subject before he asks more about her and his cape. She notes the flock of brainbots overhead and looks up at them. There seem to be a lot. "Bodyguards?" she asks, pointing up at them.

"Unfortunately," he agrees, "The citizens are getting bolder. Someone shot at me this morning." He sounds indignant.

Her eyes widen, "What? Where? Were you hit?" She glances along his body, looking for some sign of injury.

"I'm fine," he answers, soothing her panic. "It hit my shoulder, but my suit stopped it and absorbed most of the force. I'm just a little bruised."

"Your suit's bulletproof?" she asks, "I didn't know that."

He explains his suit's properties. "It can absorb the force of an impact to a certain extent, resists puncture, and scatters laser beams. Very useful for someone who habitually picks fights with superheroes." He waggles his eyebrows at her and she laughs. Then he lowers them in a scowl. "Still, no one's dared to shoot me with a firearm for years! Benevolence obviously doesn't engender the sort of fear that keeps people from shooting you in the back. I hope this kinder and gentler image doesn't get me killed."

"Me too. Did you catch the shooter?"

"Of course," he answers, as if there was never a question of this, "I left him as a blue cube with the police."

"I should make sure the TV station knows about it. They'll want to run the story." Though she had the day off, she still had a responsibility to make sure the station didn't get scooped. "You should probably release a statement."

"Already done," he answers, proud of his own forethought, "I expect it'll be all over the noon news. I even included footage of it taken by brainbot. You can see the bullet bounce right off me, though the impact knocked me over. Not so good as Metro Mahn, but it's useful if people think I'm bulletproof. It makes them less likely to try shooting me. Especially if they think it's my skin and not my suit."

"Until they start upping the firepower," she points out, "Everyone knows you're not actually invulnerable."

"That's why the brainbots are on bodyguard duty." He is often reckless, but he isn't stupid and he definitely has something to live for now that he has her.

"Good morning, L-Lord Megamind. I'm Lindsey, and I'll be your server. C-Can I get you something to drink?" The pretty waitress who interrupts them looks to be college-aged and her blonde hair is pulled into a high ponytail atop her head. A black apron is tied around her waist and bristles with paper-wrapped straws. She holds an order pad and pencil in her trembling hands as she addresses her infamous customer. Roxanne notes several other members of the wait staff peering nervously at their table from the doorway. They looked like they expect Megamind to dehydrate her on the spot. Based on the way the girl is shaking, it's likely what she thinks as well. She keeps glancing up at the brainbots as if she expects them to attack her.

Roxanne smirks at hearing the woman use the title _Lord_ to address her boyfriend. Megamind merely answers her question, "Yes, Lindsey. I'll have a Dr. Pepper."

The waitress nods and scurries off to get his drink, without bothering to write anything down.

"_Lord _Megamind?" Roxanne asks with a grin.

"Yes, _Miss_ Ritchi?" he answers with a straight face.

"That just sounds so weird." She can't help laughing.

Still keeping his composure he answers seriously, the faintest hint of a smile on his lips, "Just because you don't treat your Overlord with the proper respect doesn't mean no one does." He smiles with a twinkle in his eye.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" she observes.

"A little bit," he agrees, "It's much better than most of the other names I've been called."

She remembers calling him a monster herself only a few days ago and feels guilty. She also remembers other names she's heard in reference to him. "Well, _Lord_ Megamind," he smirks at hearing her address him that way, "I caught your speech yesterday. It came out perfect. I was so proud of you."

"Most of the credit should go to Minion," he admits, giving the fish his due for once, "He made me rewrite it ten times. He kept insisting that it kept coming out too evil."

"You're lucky to have him," Roxanne tells him.

"I know. He's a fantastic fish," Megamind agrees. Minion was the only family he had and he loved him like a brother, despite the strangely unequal nature of the relationship. Though outsiders would find it hard to accept, the fish really did enjoy his subservient position to his friend and master. After all, he was a minion and that was his purpose in life. That's what minions were bred for. Both aliens were happy with the arrangement.

"What did he think of...everything?" Roxanne asks.

"He thinks it's great. I believe he never really approved of us being evil in the first place. He only went along because it's what I wanted."

"I wish he'd tried harder to change your mind." She wonders if it would have made a difference. Could the fish have prevented Megamind's lifelong quest to be evil? She wishes someone had.

"Oh, he tried. But you might have noticed I tend to be rather persistent when I get an idea in my head. My best quality, you said," he reminded her.

"Also your worst, I think."

He shrugs. She's probably right on both counts. Megamind picks up the menu and reads through it very quickly. One of the benefits of having a huge brain was that it didn't take long to read through the entire menu. "What's good here?" he asks after seeing his choices.

"I always get the gyro," she answers, pronouncing the word as _hero_.

"The _hero_?" he asks, confused. _Is she talking about food?_

She leans over and points to the correct item on the menu.

"_Guy-ro_?" he asks, pronouncing it as it was spelled.

"It's Greek," she answers, "It's usually pronounced _year-oh_ or _hero_. But just about everyone says it wrong. It doesn't matter. If you call it a _Guy-ro_, she'll know what you mean. It tastes amazing."

"It says it has yogurt on it," he reads dubiously, with a look of mild revulsion on his face. He thinks the idea of eating fermented milk is disgusting.

"Yeah, it's has cucumber and dill in it. If you're not sure, you can ask her to put the sauce on the side. It tastes fine without it."

Lindsey returns with his drink and second glass of water to replace Roxanne's half empty one. She places two square napkins on the table and sets the drinks on them. Then she lays a paper wrapped straw next to his glass and asks, "A-Are you ready to order or should I give you a few minutes?" She is glancing nervously at the hovering brainbots who are doing nothing out of the ordinary.

"We're ready, Lindsey," answers Megamind, being sure to smile nicely at the young woman. "We'll have two _hero_ sandwiches with the yogurt sauce on the side."

Lindsey nods as she writes it down, "A-Alright. You let me know if you need anything. I'll-I'll be out with those in a few minutes." She starts to leave, only to be interrupted by Roxanne.

"Lindsey, hon. You don't need to be nervous. He won't hurt you and neither will the brainbots. I promise." She smiles her most reassuring smile, "They're not are as scary as they look." It's not clear whether she's referring to just the brainbots or is including Megamind as well. Either way, the statement is true. Megamind is doing his best to look non-threatening, but he's still wearing his normal villain suit.

"If you say so," she answers, obviously not believing a word of it. She retreats inside the restaurant where there are no supervillains or floating cyborgs to threaten her. Roxanne sighs, disappointed.

"Give them time, Roxanne," he tells her, "I was good at being scary. You can't expect them to forget in a day just because I'm smiling at them now."

"I know." She sighs, wishing it could be that simple, and begins to pack up her laptop. She has no intention of sitting behind the computer on their first real date. Well, their first real date where she actually knows who she's with, anyhow.

Megamind picks up the paper-wrapped straw and looks at it before tearing one end of the wrapper off. She's not watching him, and doesn't notice him grinning at her as he puts the straw up to his lips and blows into it, shooting the paper wrapper into her hair. "Hey!" she protests, snatching the wrapper, "What are you? Six?" she asks.

"What did you call me?" he asks, startled out of his playful mood.

"I asked if you were six." She crumples the paper into a ball and throws it at his face, but it's light enough that it doesn't make it that far and falls short. She is grinning at him, teasing. "Real mature, Megamind."

"Oh, you meant six years old. I thought you called me Six."

"Why would I call you Six?"

He shrugs, "It's one of the things they called me when I was a boy. Short for prisoner 153006."

"Six is a number, not a name."

"It was a prison," he points out, "Everyone was known by number."

"When you were Bernard and you told me Megamind had been raised in prison-wow, that sounds weird, doesn't it? Referring to you in disguise talking about your real self in the third person?" She shakes her head in frustration, "Anyway, I hardly believed you. It just boggles my mind that that could happen. It's horrible. Prison wouldn't be a good place to raise a puppy, much less a child. I can't help thinking that if you'd gone to a real family, like you should have been, your life would have been completely different. You'd probably be some famous scientist or inventor or something."

"Or a famous science experiment. An alien autopsy," he sighs, "I'm not human, Roxanne. Earth is a dangerous place for an extraterrestrial. At least the prison kept me safe until I was old enough to defend myself." Megamind had always been paranoid about the government. Not because he feared going back to prison. Boring though it was, that was like going home to him. What he feared were the research labs.

"The government doesn't actually do that. Does it?" She's uncomfortably aware that, if anyone outside the government would know the answer, Megamind probably would. She's not sure she wants to learn that humans are really that evil.

"I don't know, Roxanne. Maybe. It would be quite a coincidence if mine and Metro Mahn's planets were the only other ones out there with intelligent life capable of space travel. But we _are_ the only extraterrestrials that anyone knows about for sure. If there have been others, what happened to them? That story about the Roswell aliens is uncomfortably close to some things I've found researching the subject. But I just don't know. It might all be a hoax. I haven't been able to get into the truly secret government computer systems. They're not accessible outside the research facilities themselves. But I'm not going to take any chances. I will not allow myself or Minion to fall into their hands. It scares me to think of it."

"Me too," she answers.

Lindsey returns with their food and sets it in front of them. She seems marginally less nervous, having survived two visits to their table already. However, she still has a rabbit-in-the-headlights look about her and it's clear she doesn't want to stay in their presence a moment longer than necessary. Once her errand is complete, she hurries away again. _Oh, well,_ thinks Roxanne, _at least she won't be constantly interrupting us to ask how the food is and if we need anything like most waitresses do. There's always a bright side._

Megamind removes his gloves and folds them neatly on the side of the table. He is looks at his gyro, confused. A round piece of flat bread is covered in sliced beef and onions. A small plastic container of white sauce is balanced precariously on the edge of the plate next to a generous number of french fries. He looks dubiously at the sandwich. How is he supposed to eat this, he wonders. Is it supposed to have a top piece of bread? It hardly looks like a sandwich the way it is. He glances over at Roxanne to see how she handles the strange not-sandwich that has been delivered. Oblivious to his confusion, Roxanne pours yogurt sauce over her meat and folds the flatbread like a taco. He takes her lead, but skips the sauce. He takes a bite and is surprised by the taste. It's nothing like he'd expected. "This is wonderful!" he exclaims, after swallowing his first bite.

"Told you so," affirms the reporter before taking her own bite.

They are silent for a few minutes as they both eat their gyros. After awhile Megamind puts his down and picks up the ketchup bottle. He removes the top and tips it upside down over his plate, quickly becoming irritated at how long it's taking for the thick ketchup to pour. He hits it on the bottom, thinking that would dislodge it, but his effort yields only a few ketchup splatters. Roxanne notices his irritation and puts down her sandwich. "Like this," she says, taking the bottle from him. She tips it at a 45 degree angle and hits it with her other hand right on the 57 spot on the label. Miraculously, the ketchup immediately flows out. She does the same over her own plate before returning the bottle to its place in the center of the table. She dunks a fry and eats it before noticing Megamind watching her curiously. "It's a trick," she explains, "I learned it waiting tables in college. I'm not sure why it works, but if you hit it in just that spot, it comes right out. You can also stick a knife or a fry down the bottle, but that's less hygienic. Anything else takes forever." She shrugs, eating another fry.

He looks at the bottle, considering viscosity, friction, angles, and force to conclude that she was correct. That was the best way to get the thick ketchup out of the bottle. He wonders why someone would design a bottle that made it so difficult to get the product out. It seems unnecessarily inconvenient. "Thank you," he says, "I wouldn't have guessed that solution. Can you solve another restaurant-related mystery for me?"

"Maybe."

"Why did she place our glasses on napkins?"

"That's something that never made sense to me either. I know it's supposed to be like a coaster, but this table is glass. Condensation isn't going to leave a ring that can't be wiped off. Also, it's a napkin, not a real coaster. It will soak right through. There's no reason for it that I can see."

She shrugs again, returning to eating her gyro. As she bites into it, some of the yogurt sauce drips out the back onto her fingers. He watches her lick it off, surprised by how distracting watching her clean her hand with her tongue is. It makes him wonder what her tongue feels like. Part of him thinks that is a weird thing to think about. Obviously, it would feel wet. But another part of him whispers that it might feel good. She notices his attention and realizes what she'd been doing to him, "Sorry," she says, using her napkin to clean her hand instead, "Forgot my manners."

"No need to apologize," he says, wishing she hadn't stopped, "I liked watching."

"I bet," she answers, amused at how easily she'd distracted him. She picks up a fry and eats it slower than was strictly necessary, noting him watching her with a pleased smirk on his face. She thinks it's nice to know she can do that to him, but reminds herself that this isn't really the time or place. She throws a french fry at him, hitting him in the forehead and startling him. "Focus, Megamind."

"I was focused," he objects.

"Not on that."

"On what then?" he asks, his eyes roving over her, noticing several interesting things to focus on.

"Eyes up here, Spaceman."

He obeys, his smile indicating that he's merely humoring her.

"How about the plan? How's your end going?"

"On shedule. You?"

"I've contacted about half the city council and the deputy mayor. Also the police chief. They're willing to meet with you, but they're suspicious. They don't want to be stepping into an ambush."

"Understandable."

"Give me a couple days and I'm sure we'll have come to an agreement. I also found you a lawyer." She fished a business card out of her pocket and hands it to him. "They come highly recommended and have people on staff specializing in all the things you'll need. Contracts, Criminal Defense, Emigration, Taxes, all of it. Also, one of the principals has been especially interested in your case for years. He was jumping at the chance to work with you. I set up a meeting tomorrow at ten. If you want me to come with you, I will, but it's going to be all dry lawyer stuff and I'll probably be over my head pretty quick. You know what needs to be done better than I do anyway."

"Yes, and what sort of an Overlord would I be if I had to constantly cling to my girlfriend when I did anything? No, I appreciate the offer, but this is something I can attend to myself."

She nods. "That's what I thought. I'd rather focus on managing things with the media, anyway. I'm more comfortable with that. Oh, I took the week off."

"You did?"

"Yeah. Between helping you and getting my apartment back together, I figured I needed the time off. I have plenty of vacation accrued, but Marty didn't want to let me take it at such short notice. So, I hope you don't mind, but I bribed him with the promise of an exclusive interview with you at the end of the week."

"That works. I'll need to do something like that soon anyway. This will make it easier to control the message."

"Well, sort of. I won't be conducting the interview. But he did agree to let you see the list of questions beforehand so you won't be going into it blind."

"Who will I be talking with?"

"Allison Parker. She handles about half of the investigative reporting for the station and most of the political interviews. It's nasty of me to say it, but I think she's sort of glad Wayne's 'dead'. She always resented me getting the Metro Man exclusives. It will help her career if I don't have that advantage over her anymore. That doesn't mean she'll go easier on you because of it, though."

"The blonde with the black roots? She did that story on the Tony Marlow's syndicate two months ago. It was actually very well-done. She shut down half his operation with that little piece." he pauses, considering the reporter, "I can work with her. She won't waste time asking me fluff questions and the questions she does ask will be well thought out. She'll try to trip me up, though. I'll have to be careful."

"Just stick to the truth and don't be afraid to say _No Comment _if she plays too rough. You tend to brag and say more than you should. Talk to the lawyer about what you should avoid talking about."

"'Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.' Yes, yes. I will not be out-smarted by Miss Parker."

She looks at him skeptically, but lets it go without comment. They continue eating their food. When they are nearly finished, Roxanne says, "Oh, good. I was hoping we'd get a visitor."

Megamind looks up to find a black boy of around nine years old approaching their table. He's wearing a blue shirt with an unfamiliar cartoon character printed on the front. His skin is a milk chocolate color and his black hair is cropped close to his head. A huge grin splits his face. A woman in her thirties, his mother judging by her appearance, is following, ready to pull him away if the Overlord objects to his presence. The child is nervous, but determined. Megamind smiles at the boy, careful to appear friendly. The boy is noticeably relieved and scurries across the remaining space to stand a few feet from the blue man.

"Mister-Megamind-I-saw-you-on-TV-when-the-tower-crashed-That-was-so-cool-None-of-my-friends-are-gonna-believe-me-that-I-met-you-It-was-crummy-that-you-mispronounced-Metro-City-like-that-Why-do-you-say-Metrocity-anyway?-You-have-the-coolest-car-ever-When-I-grow-up-I-wanna-invent-stuff-like-that-too-'Cept-I-wanna-stay-out-of-prison-Your-robots-are-awesome." The boy stood catching his breath and waiting for Megamind to respond.

"What's your name?" Megamind asks the boy, not knowing quite how to respond to the long stream of breathless speech.

"Darnell," the boy is anxious, as if he's not sure he should have come over after all.

Megamind laughs, "Calm down, Darnell. I won't hurt you. I've given up being evil and even when I was I never went around hurting children. Minion would never have allowed it." He winked at the boy.

Darnell relaxes, "Is Minion here?" He looks around as if he might have overlooked the fish in his 8-foot tall gorilla suit.

"No, I wanted to spend some time alone with Miss Ritchi today. He's busy with other tasks right now. Do you like Minion?"

"He's awesome," gushes the boy, "Is he really a fish?"

"Yes, but he's not an Earth-fish. He came from my planet. He's been with me since I was a baby."

"Wow. I wish my Mom would let me have a fish."

"He isn't a pet," Megamind corrects the boy, "He's at least as smart as you are."

"Yeah, I know," answers the boy agreeably "I've heard him talk. A goldfish can't do that." He glanced at Roxanne, who had been watching the exchange with amusement, "Is she your girlfriend?"

"Yes, she is," Megamind grins proudly at being able to say that.

Darnell cocks his head to one side, looking at Megamind skeptically, "I didn't know space aliens could have girlfriends."

Megamind doesn't know exactly what to say to this and looks at Roxanne for guidance. She smiles at the boy's childish observation without judgment and tells him, "Other than being blue and really smart, he's just like anyone else." She pauses as an idea occurs to her. "Megamind, give him your hand."

Megamind, confused, holds out his bare hand to the boy who looks at it curiously. After hesitating for a second, he takes hold of it to examine closer. He runs his fingers along the creases on the alien's palm and then turns it over and looks at the back. "It's just like mine. Fingernails and everything. It's just blue."

"That's right. His people aren't that different from ours."

Darnell's mother steps over and asks, "Would you mind if I took a picture of you and Darnell?"

"Not at all," Megamind answers, "That would be fine."

The mother instructs Darnell where to stand.

"Wait," interrupts Megamind before speaking into his watch, "537, come to Daddy." A brainbot floats down to Megamind, bow-bowing. "Be nice." he warns the bot before positioning it next to the boy. "Don't worry, Darnell. He won't hurt you unless I tell him to."

"Bow-bow," the brainbot agrees.

"Wow," says Darnell, "What is it?"

"It's a brainbot," he answers, "They help me."

"Will it bite?"

"Some of them will. This one will be a good boy, though. Right 537?" His tone warns the bot that he's expected to be a good boy or Daddy will be most displeased.

"Bow-Bow," it answers.

"Can I touch him?" he asks eagerly.

"Yes. But don't ever touch one unless I say it's okay. They're my pets and they don't behave well if they're surprised. This one's pretty friendly, though," Megamind smiles at his pet, who glows brighter with pride, "They like to have their domes stroked. Like this." Megamind demonstrates by running his fingers over the bot's glass top. Electric sparks follow his touch.

The boy reaches out hesitantly to touch the bot. He grins as the sparks follow his fingers over the transparent dome, "It's warm," he says.

"Look over here," his mother instructs, snapping a photo of the scene. "Got it. Now, Darnell, you should leave Mister Megamind and Miss Ritchi to their lunch. Thank you so much for talking to him."

"No problem. I'm glad to have made your acquaintance, Darnell."

"You too, sir. I can't wait to show my friends that picture. Bye," the boy stumbles as he scurries away, too intent on staring at Megamind than to watch where he's going.

"Good bye Darnell," Megamind calls after him, "Watch where you're going."

The boy nods and he and his mother return to their table. Though too far away to hear clearly, they can tell the boy's happily replaying the event and telling his mother all about it. Megamind sends brainbot 537 back to its position.

"That was perfect," says Roxanne, proud of her spaceman.

"I would never have thought to show him my hand," he says, "He probably thought I had scales or something."

"He might have, but I don't think he was too scared of you in the first place or he wouldn't have come over at all. And now he knows that you're just the same as he is. You look less intimidating without your gloves, you know. More human."

"I would think showing more blue skin would make me look less human, not more," argues the alien.

"No, it just makes it look like you have something to hide. It makes people think you have scales, or robot hands or something. Leaving them uncovered makes you look more normal."

Lindsey drops off their check and Roxanne slides her card into the folder.

"I thought it was traditional for the man to pay," Megamind objects.

"It is, but I have a feeling your money was not legally obtained," she explains knowingly, "I'd rather use my own."

"That's another thing I'll need to talk to the lawyer about," he admits.

Lindsey took the card and returned it a few minutes later with the credit slip. Roxanne asked Megamind, "What's 15%?"

He glanced over at the total and answered immediately, "3.57" he looked at her oddly, "You can't figure that out?"

"Of course I can," she answers, nonplussed, "but I'm dating a living calculator. So, why should I bother?" She adds the tip to the total and signs the slip.

"You're right, you are slow at that." he observes after watching her add the two numbers together at what, for a human, was a respectable speed.

"Hey, no cracks about my puny human brain."

"Never."

She slings her laptop bag over one shoulder and wraps her other arm around his waist. He does the same around her, their hips touching and their footsteps in sync as they leave the restaurant. The brainbots swarm overhead keeping watch for danger as they follow their daddy. The other patrons watch the happy pair leave with various reactions, everything from affection to disgust. One unpleasant man in the far corner stares after them with abject hatred.

**The ketchup trick is real. I learned it from a guy I dated a long time ago who'd been a waiter at one point. **

**Gyros taste amazing. And I liked the idea of him ordering a **_**hero**_** sandwich. He chose Dr. Pepper only because it's one of the sweetest sodas that the cafe would probably have, and he likes super-sweet things. **

**I can't remember where I got that quote about silence. **

**Um... That's all I can think of. Next up, they go visit Wayne. **

**Review if you want me to keep going! :)**


	8. Visiting Wayne

**Here, you go, lucky readers. Earlier than I expected. **

Roxanne and Megamind step out of the invisible car parked along a sand and gravel road running in front of an old-fashioned one-room schoolhouse. The red paint is faded and peeling. The exposed wood is gray with age. A wind blows along the nearby shoreline and up the little hill where the aging building sits. It ruffles Roxanne's hair and makes Megamind's cape billow out in a way that would be impressively menacing on a less cheerful, sunny day. As it is, the city's Overlord looks as out of place as he feels. He does not easily ask for help, but the last few days he'd seemed to have slipped into the habit. It galls him to approach his rival, for the second time in three days, to ask for assistance. Especially when he thinks he already knows what the answer will be. Metro Man is dead. The man behind the costume will not take up that name again. Though he'd spent his life protecting the helpless humans of Metro City, not once had the shining hero ever lifted a finger to help the blue man from his own star system. Megamind does not expect that to change today. The only reason he is here at all is that Roxanne still believes the former hero will help. She still sees good in the man. She sees good in everyone, even Megamind himself. For that, he's willing to give her plan a chance and hope that she can appeal to the man's conscience to do the right thing.

Roxanne marches resolutely up to the schoolhouse, determined to make Wayne Scott do what she tells him to, despite having no powers beyond those of any other human woman. Still, Wayne has always been her friend. He has always listened to her before. If she can just reason with him, she's sure she can get through to him. If she can keep her temper under control, that is. She's still seething over his abandoning her and the city to Megamind and Titan. She willfully ignores the irony of arriving here with Megamind, who's at least half responsible for the mess they're in. At least Megamind is trying to fix things now, unlike Wayne.

She ducks into the dim interior of the schoolhouse, followed by her new boyfriend and two of his pets. All four lift the heavy trapdoor, which reveals the pristine subterranean hallway that leads to the not-so-late Wayne Scott's secret home. Being able to fly meant Wayne hadn't bothered installing minor conveniences like stairs. Megamind leaps gracefully down to the tunnel floor, ten feet below. His natural agility and toughness makes the drop no more challenging than one of half that distance would be for a human. Unfortunately, being human, Roxanne can only watch Megamind enviously, knowing herself incapable of such a feat without risking injury. Last time she'd had to resort to sliding over the edge of the opening and dangling undignified in the air to reduce the distance to the ground before she dropped, pridefully refusing Megamind's help because she had yet to forgive him for tricking her. This time they'd planned ahead, however, and the brainbots accompanying them gently lift Roxanne and lower her to the floor of the tunnel next to their daddy.

Once safely on her feet, Roxanne strokes each of the brainbots in turn, praising them by number and eliciting happy bow-bows in response. Megamind smiles in approval at the way she'd so quickly adjusted to the presence of his pets. She now interacts with them as naturally as he does. It brightens his dark heart to see how readily she accepts his family. He takes her hand in his, still ridiculously happy that she allows such contact. They proceed together down the dim hallway, the brainbots trailing behind.

The strange group approaches the thick metal door which they had simply pushed open on their last visit, having no idea that the chamber beyond was occupied. This time they are not so ignorant and knock instead. Neither person wants to interrupt whatever Wayne might be doing or risk walking in when he might not be properly dressed. The bots, taking their cues from their daddy, wait patiently as well.

Inside, Wayne is startled at the knock, but not terribly surprised. He was expecting Roxanne or Megamind (or both) would visit again now that everything was over. He's even looking forward to it somewhat, having become a bit lonely living as a hermit for the last few weeks since his 'death'. He looks through the steel door with his X-ray vision to confirm the identity of his visitors. The last thing he wants is some stranger stumbling into his hideout because he was too lazy to check before opening the door. He's relieved to see Roxanne and Megamind standing patiently at the entrance. He notes their linked hands with surprise. It confirms something he'd suspected after visiting her empty apartment last night, but hadn't been sure of. The confirmation depresses him slightly, one more thing he can't have, even with all his powers. He forces that thought away as unworthy. What did he expect? Dead men can't date anyway. He'd given up all chance at having her when he'd decided to fake his death, if he'd ever had any chance at all. He unbolts the door, having remembered, for once to lock it last time he'd come home.

Roxanne and Megamind watch the door swing open to reveal Wayne Scott dressed in pale blue jeans, white socks, and a white T-shirt with his gold M Logo printed across the front. His hair and beard are still shaggy and he has a white acoustic guitar gripped by the neck in his left hand. Apparently they'd interrupted his music, but he didn't seem upset to see them. The hero-turned-hermit greets them simply, "Hey," he says.

"Ollo," replies Megamind as Roxanne says, "Hi." The brainbots, feeling they should contribute something as well, bow-bow politely, while eyeing Daddy's foe warily. Brainbot 752 had been destroyed 17 times by this enemy. Brainbot 106 had been lucky and had only been demolished 7 times, even though he was the older of the two. Daddy had instructed them to be polite and behave themselves, however, so the bots kept their misgivings to themselves. If they were called on to sacrifice themselves again, they would do so willing, knowing Daddy would repair them. That was the duty of a brainbot and they were honored to have been selected from all of their many, many brothers to accompany Daddy on what they felt must be a dangerous mission. They were determined to prove themselves worthy of their daddy's trust. They did wonder if it was wise to approach their enemy in such small numbers, but had faith that Daddy knew what he was doing. Daddy always had a plan.

Wayne steps aside and invites them in. His guests step into the strangely museum-like chamber, glancing curiously at the memorabilia displayed around the room. Roxanne can't help feeling that the room represents Wayne's shrine to himself, a constant reminder of his own greatness. She wonders, as usual, at the state of his self-esteem that such a display is necessary. A few mementoes displayed around the room and a scrapbook or two was one thing. But this is on a whole other level. But then, Wayne had always been larger-than-life. She isn't sure which of the two men had the bigger ego. Likely they are evenly matched.

"Sit down," Wayne invites while reverently placing his guitar on its stand. "Can I get you a beer or soda or something?" he asks politely, knowing his duty as a host.

"Do you have any of those wine coolers I like?" Roxanne asks, knowing that Wayne secretly likes them himself, but insists that he only keeps them stocked for her benefit. They are not exactly a manly beverage and so much is about image with him, even in private. She hopes he has the strawberry kind.

"I think so," he answers, "How about you Little Buddy?"

Megamind seethes at the name, but reminds himself that his rival is no longer his enemy and they were, for the moment, guests in the man's home. He's determined to be polite, at least for now, "A soda, since you offered. I don't tolerate alcohol well."

"You don't?" asks Roxanne confused. Hadn't they ordered champagne at the restaurant when he was being Bernard? But then she remembers that the champagne had been her idea, not his.

"No, it goes straight to my head," he answers, "I have to limit myself to only a few sips or I'll become seriously impaired, which is fine since I really don't care for the taste. Unlike him," he jerks a thumb in their host's direction, "He can drink a whole keg and nothing happens."

Wayne shrugs and wanders off to the kitchen to get his guests their drinks while they seat themselves on the curved white couch in the middle of the room. After retrieving the drinks from the refrigerator he turns and has a clear view of his guests through the doorway. They are sitting close together with Megamind leaning in to whispers something low into Roxanne's ear which Wayne doesn't bother to catch. The both chuckle and Wayne hears her murmur, "You're evil," but in a tone that makes Wayne think she approves of whatever it is he'd just said. He wonders what he missed and then thinks perhaps he's better off not knowing. The way they're looking at each other makes him feel like he's interrupting something private and he clenches his jaw.

They pull away from each other somewhat as Wayne enters the room, still close, but not so close as to seemed joined at the hip. They smile politely at him. The brainbots, hovering high over his guests, watch the room and the former hero with emotionless red eyes that, none-the-less, seem to regard him with malevolence. Wayne always thought those bots were creepy and wonders why Megamind brought them here. The creatures seem nervous and on-guard. Could they be afraid of him, Wayne wonders. It's possible. He's certainly destroyed enough of them that they ought to be wary. Perhaps they're here to protect Megamind from him, which seems silly. If Wayne wanted to hurt him or haul him off to jail, a couple of flying robots couldn't stop him. On the other hand, Megamind usually has a few of the pets around him, so perhaps it's just habit to bring them. Like an old woman who takes her lapdog with her everywhere. Wayne's own mother had begun doing that. An inane habit, he thought.

Wayne hands a can of Coke to Megamind and a strawberry wine cooler to Roxanne. They thank him. He flicks the cap off his own beer bottle with his thumb. Megamind pops his can open and Roxanne starts to twist the cap off her own bottle, grimacing at the way the edges of the cap bite into her hand. Wayne is about to offer to open it for her when she looks up at the hovering bots and holds up her bottle. One of them lowers itself and takes it in its pincers. It opens the bottle for her and hands it back. "Thank you 106," she tells it. It bow-bows in answer, glowing brighter for a moment, and resumes its guard position. She looks back at Wayne as if nothing unusual had occurred.

Wayne takes a pull from his beer bottle and sits in the white chair opposite the couch, regarding the couple in front of him. "Seriously?" he asks, "You two?"

Megamind's smile can only be described as smug and Roxanne looks away, blushing before returning her eyes to her friend, a shy grin on her lips. She leans toward Megamind, who wraps an arm possessively around her waist, silently daring his rival to object.

Wayne sighs, disappointed, but not entirely surprised. He loves Roxanne. She was one of the few people he knew who saw him as Wayne Scott first and Metro Man, the shining inhuman hero, second. She only ever called him Metro Man when she was on-camera or tied up. All the rest of the time he was just Wayne to her. That was a rare thing in Metro City. He'd known for awhile that she didn't feel anything more than friendship for him and he'd actually expected to lose her sooner or later. A woman like her wouldn't stay single forever. She'd find some normal man who didn't have to be so careful when he touched her. Who wouldn't bruise her just by holding her. But he hadn't expected that man to be Megamind. How had that happened? She'd spent years trying to escape from his evil clutches. Wayne had thought it would take more than just one heroic rescue to win her after that history. After all, he'd rescued her hundreds of times and never won more than her friendship for it.

The proof is right in front of him, though. His closest friend with his lifelong rival. It's not what he wants, but it's obviously what she does. And so, with a tremendous effort, he does what she expects of him, though it breaks his heart to do it. He smiles at the pair, forcing it to show even in his eyes. "I'm glad you're happy, Roxy," he tells her, ignoring Megamind's gloating smile. The little guy is so irritating.

"Thanks, Wayne," she answers, appreciating the effort it took him to say that, "I _am_ happy."

"So..." Wayne scratched the back of his neck nervously, "How long have you two been seeing each other?" He hadn't thought they were together when he'd seen them a few days ago. They weren't acting anything like this then. But, of course, they were both pretty focused on being pissed at him at the time. Perhaps they were just too concerned with the Titan problem. Of course, she _had_ told Megamind she needed him to rescue her just a few hours later on live TV. He had to admit that he really had no clue what had been happening in her life since his 'death'.

"Not long," she answers, "I only asked him out the night he rescued me from Titan."

"But I didn't say 'yes' until the next morning," Megamind adds, laughing. Wayne was surprised to see the man actually _leering_ at Roxanne, and he has a brief impulse to do something violent to him, but is cut short by the sound of Roxanne's laughter. She isn't offended at all by what Megamind had just implied. Had he misunderstood? It sounded like Megamind was hinting that they'd spent the night together. Would Roxanne have done that? That doesn't sound like her, but then he wouldn't have thought she'd actually go for the villain at all. She certainly hadn't slept at her place _last_ night. He is finding it hard to think of Megamind as the good guy at the moment. He takes a drink from his beer to give his brain a moment to catch up before he does something he'll regret.

"Oh, hush, Megamind," she tells him, "You'll give Wayne entirely the wrong idea about me. Besides, we were sort of dating for two weeks before that. I just didn't know I was dating _you_."

Wayne thought that was an odd thing to say. "How could you possibly date him without knowing it?" he asks, "It's not like he can just put on a pair of glasses and normal clothes and pass for a regular human."

"Like this," answers Roxanne as she reaches out to take Megamind's left wrist in her hand and twists something on his watch. Instantly Megamind's body shimmers and in his place sits a human man with brown hair wearing a turtleneck and suit jacket. He looks about as different from Megamind as you can get except for his eyes, which are still exactly the same. Megamind/Bernard smiles, unfazed by his transformation, his arm still around Roxanne. "He was a dishonest little sneak," she explains to Wayne, "But I'm glad he was. I wouldn't have given him a chance wearing his own face."

Wayne stood up and paced around the disguised alien, examining him closer. "Amazing. You look exactly like a human. The textures are even right." He reaches out and pokes him in the shoulder, observing that it even _felt_ right. He engages his X-ray vision, "Ah, there I see it. There's a distortion, but your insides still look like you. Not human."

Megamind/Bernard shrugs, "I didn't design it to fool you. I initially used it as a way for Minion and I to go out in public without attracting attention. It's incredibly inconvenient not to even be able to go to a store without causing a riot and getting arrested. It's proved a very useful device. I can even be you," he claims and twists the watch again, shimmering and transforming into Metro Man. "I almost scared off Titan like this," he brags in Wayne's own voice, "But I slipped and said Metrocity. I'm actually surprised the idiot noticed. I wouldn't have given him credit for that much intelligence."

Roxanne had moved away from Megamind/Metro Man with a look of discomfort, "Would you please switch it off?" she asks, "I don't like being close to you when you're disguised."

Wayne reflects that she hadn't seemed to mind the first disguise. Only the Metro Man one. He isn't sure what that means. Maybe she was just more used to seeing Megamind use the first one.

Wayne's double laughs, "Don't like me like this Roxy?" he asks.

"No," She answers, wrinkling her nose. She takes his hand again and deactivates the watch, causing the Metro Man illusion to flicker away, "Much better," she says, leaning back against him once more. "He used that little toy to trick me into dating him for two weeks. I thought he was a man named Bernard," she explains to Wayne, "The _real_ Bernard is a curator at the Metro Man Museum. An expert on _Megamind_, if you can believe it! I was trying to figure out what he (Megamind) was up to and he (Bernard) was supposed to be helping me."

"Wow," says Wayne with appreciation, "That took some balls, Little Buddy."

"I am nothing if not brazen," Megamind agrees.

"And he fooled you?"

"For awhile. Then his watch malfunctioned." She laughs, appreciating the humor of the situation as she hadn't been able to when it happened, "I closed my eyes kissing Bernard and opened them kissing _him_."

"Oh, I'd like to have seen that," says Wayne, imagining the looks on their faces.

"You might be able to," she answers, "It was in the middle of a crowded restaurant. I wouldn't be surprised if someone took a picture and posted it somewhere. Maybe even a video."

Megamind blushes purple, "It was embaaarassing. Me device malfunctioned, she stormed out, and I was left there with everyone staring at me like I was a space alien."

"You _are_ a space alien," Wayne says.

"Exactly!" Megamind is pleased to be understood.

They both stare at him a second before Roxanne continues. "I was so pissed off I ended up walking all the way home in the pouring rain."

"He didn't go after you?"

"He did, but I wasn't ready to listen yet. He's the last person I'm supposed to care about. I was so mad at him for tricking me. It took me awhile to sort through what I was feeling and what I really wanted."

"And you decided you wanted him?"

"Yeah. Once I let go of the anger, it just...felt right." She can't explain it better than that. When she is with him she feels complete and when he is gone she feels like a part of herself is missing. She is in love. It is as simple and as complex as that.

While the people are engaged in conversation, the brainbots guard their daddy and Miss Ritchi, whom Daddy had recently designated as _friend_. Based on new data, the brainbots no longer believe that label is correct. After considerable discussion, they agree to consult their brothers when they return to the evil lair. However, both 106 and 752 are in agreement that _Mommy_ is a more accurate designation for her.

Apparently unnoticed by the people, a small disk 13.4 inches in diameter and 3.6 inches in height rolls into the room, making a soft whining noise. It is white with gold trim and has a single round button in the very center that is labeled _Clean_. The bots are instantly alert, watching the thing creep along the wall. They aren't sure what it is, but it is the only thing, other than the people, that is moving. It keeps its distance, though and makes no immediate move toward the seating area. It circles the room several times, coming closer to the chairs with each pass. The brainbots consult each other. They are concerned it is lulling them into a false sense of security. Neither like the sneaky thing, though it is making enough noise that Daddy must know it's there. Still, it's edging closer and closer to the people they are supposed to protect. What sort of bodyguards would they be if they didn't challenge the intruder? 106 glides silently to the round thing. Upon closer inspection, it notices a label reading _iRobot_. 106 hadn't realized that Daddy's enemy had his own robot army. This makes sense to the brainbot and it quickly surveys the room for more, but there is only this one. Unless the rest are cloaked. It checks the room for the tell-tale ripple that a cloak generates. It doesn't detect anything and is reasonably confident that it and 752 outnumber the enemy's forces. The enemy robot appears to take no notice of the brainbot and continues rolling along the carpet towards Daddy. 106 wonders what sort of firepower the strange bot possesses and what sort of threat it poses. After some consideration and after consulting 752 again, it decides on a preemptory strike.

Just as it prepares to charge, Roxanne calls out, "106, don't you dare attack that Roomba." 106 halts it's attack and whines in disappointment, "Were you really going to let him kill Wayne's vacuum?" she asks Megamind, who smiles innocently in response.

"Would I do that?" he asks.

She rolls her eyes. "106, that's a vacuum cleaner bot. It's just cleaning the carpet. It's unarmed," Roxanne explains to the brainbot, "It won't hurt us." 106 enters the new information into its database, pleased that Daddy and Mommy are in no immediate danger, but somewhat disappointed that it didn't get to play with the other bot. It floats over to her and nudges her arm, asking for, and receiving, a reassuring stroke on the dome before floating back to its position next to its brother overhead.

752 laughs at 106's mistake, a sound that Wayne and Roxanne recognize only as the familiar brainbot bow-bowing, but that Megamind understands. 106 pushes 752 and bow-bows in challenge, a staticy growl is faintly detectable. The light in their domes glow brighter and begin to spark red. A brief tussle ensues and 106 reasserts his dominance as senior brainbot. They settle back down to their guard positions, unaware of the attention they have attracted.

"Those things are creepy," observes Wayne.

Megamind smiles with pride. They were meant to be creepy. That's how he designed them. They were supposed to instill fear into the hearts and minds of Metrocity and enhance his own villainous image. They even make the former hero uneasy, a feat in itself. He does wonder why they obeyed Roxanne's command, however. The designation of _friend_ should have kept them from attacking her, and even explained their affectionate behavior towards her, but she should not have been able to halt 106's attack like that. He makes a mental note to check their programming when he returns to the evil lair.

"No they're not," Roxanne contradicts Wayne, "They're good little cyborgs," she insists, smiling affectionately at the pets.

Wayne eyes the bear-trap jaws, sharp pincers, and sinister glowing eyestalks with distaste. He doesn't fear the bots thanks to his invulnerability, but he doesn't like them. He fails to see anything redeeming about the unnatural things. "If you say so, " he answers, clearly disagreeing. He decides to change the subject, "So, why are you here?" he asks, "I assume it wasn't just so Megamind could gloat over finally getting a date." He returns to his chair.

"Hardly," answers Megamind, insulted at the implication that he'd never had a date before, even though it's perfectly true. He is embarrassed by the fact that here he is, 37 years old, and Roxanne was only his _first_ girlfriend. Not that he'd ever wanted anyone else, but still, he should have had more experience with women by this point in his life. After all, he was an incredibly handsome genius.

Oblivious to Megamind's thoughts, Roxanne answers Wayne's question, "We're making plans for what comes next and most of it hinges on you. We're hoping you're not planning to stay dead."

"Sorry, Roxy. Metro Man _is_ dead," Wayne answers. Megamind and Roxanne exchange a disappointed glance. "Things seem to be working out great. I really enjoy writing songs, as if it's what I was meant to do my whole life. It looks like Megamind's getting the whole Overlord thing running smoothly finally and the people are starting to see him as their protector thanks to Titan's defeat. You don't have to worry about getting kidnapped all the time anymore. I should have died years ago. Everything's falling into place," he drinks his beer, pleased with his new life.

"Maybe for you, Wayne," answers Roxanne, "I, on the other hand, now appear to be dating my late boyfriend's murderer."

"Then don't date him," he shrugs.

Roxanne is appalled at Wayne's insensitivity. "I am not going to dump him because of something he didn't even do! He's not a murderer."

"Not for lack of trying," Wayne answers, pointing his beer bottle at Megamind, "He's been trying to kill us _both_ for years."

"I never tried to kill Roxanne!" objects Megamind.

The two stare at him in disbelief.

"Okay, I _did_ try to kill Roxanne," he admits reluctantly, "But not in any way that would actually work. If I wanted her dead I never would have called you to rescue her! It's not like she was ever hard to capture. A helpless woman tied to a chair? I could have done _anything_ to her and you'd be too late to do anything about it. But I _didn't_." In fact, for a supervillain, he'd shown remarkable restraint. There were so _many_ things he'd fantasized about doing to her in that chair, but he never had. After all, he wasn't _that_ evil. And, of course, Minion would never have allowed it.

"You _were_ trying to kill _me_, though," Wayne insists.

"Of course," Megamind answers, as if that were perfectly natural.

"So, you've spent years annoying me, trying to kill me, threatening my city, and now you've even got _my_ girl? And you want me to help you? I already let you win, isn't that enough?"

"Oh, get off your high horse, Wayne," answers Roxanne, losing control of her temper, "I was never _your_ girl, and he could have obliterated the entire planet and you'd fly off to Venus with nothing worse than a scorched costume to show for it. "

"I do have to eat and breathe, you know. Kind of hard to do that without a planet," he points out.

"I had wondered about that," Megamind says.

Again, the two glare at him.

"What? Professional interest!" he defends himself, "I made a career out of puzzling out his weaknesses. You can't expect me to forget about that overnight."

Roxanne shakes her head, but refuses to be side-tracked, "The point is, trying to kill someone who can't be killed is hardly the same thing as trying to kill someone," she gestures vaguely in the air as she searches for the right word, "mortal. It was a giant game and you _know_ it. You two boys bantering back and forth. Pitting your powers against his brain. You think I didn't see that? And now you're tired of playing, so you expect to just go home and leave him to clean up the mess you BOTH made? Most of the city doesn't know it was a game. They think it was real and that he _murdered_ you! That's _serious_! Don't you understand the hatred and fear they have for him now? And _you_ get to fly off with a gleaming reputation to start a new life? Is that fair?"

"I don't see why not. He knew the rules and, besides, he won. I don't see what there is to complain about. He's got the city. He's got the girl," he shrugs, finishing his beer and tossing it into a recycling bin across the room. The glass shatters on impact and makes a tinkling noise as it rains down to the bottom of the bin.

"It was a rigged game! He never _should_ have won!" She yells.

Megamind places a hand on her shoulder, calming her. Though he enjoys hearing her defend him, for a change, she's really getting worked up and it's not productive. He doesn't want the former hero kicking them out of his home before they even get what they came here for. "Roxanne," he says, "Calm down. He's right. I did know the rules and I knew it was rigged. I enjoyed the game. He was a challenging opponent. We don't need to rehash who was to blame. The three of us just need to agree on what will come next."

"I already told you," Wayne says, "Metro Man is dead. I'm going to stay right here and write songs until I have enough good stuff to release an album and then I'll be Music Man."

The two look at him skeptically. Megamind is the first to speak, "Interesting plan, but we have another suggestion. How about you tell everyone what happened so people know I didn't murder you?"

"Oh, yes. Then I can kick your butt and haul you off to prison and everything will go back the way it was. Is that what you want? You can be the villain again and I'll be the hero. I don't know what Roxy will do, though. I don't think I really want to rescue her anymore," he pretends to think about the problem and snaps his fingers, "Hey, maybe I'll find another girlfriend and you can start kidnapping _her_ instead. Would that work for you?"

"No, not really," answers Megamind, "I have no intention of playing the game anymore. You won't have to go back to being the hero."

"Yes I will," Wayne answers, "When the city finds out I'm not dead, they'll be outraged-"

"-Can't imagine why," interrupted Roxanne sarcastically. Megamind squeezes her hand in warning and she clenches her teeth over the rant that she was about to deliver.

"They'll claim that I abandoned them. That I was responsible for what happened after my 'death'. Then they'll expect me to take up my duties again. Starting with getting rid of him," he points at Megamind, "They won't listen to me when I say I don't want to do it anymore. I have the powers, of course I'm supposed to be the hero. It's my destiny, isn't it? The city gives me anything I want in exchange. Money, fame, adoration, museums named in my honor. They won't let me say no." He stands up and paces across the room, giving Roxanne the impression he wants to hit something in frustration. Instead he raises a hand to rub his eyes. "Just let Metro Man go out in a blaze of death-ray glory and leave me alone. I'm so tired of it all."

"Don't you care anymore?" asks Roxanne.

"Of course I care." He turns to face her. "But if I start rescuing people again, where will it end? How do I pick and choose which people to save and which to leave to fate? I'll wind up working 24/7 again and I'll burn out again. No, it's better to give it up all together. I never asked for these powers. I wish I could give them away." He turns toward Megamind. "I wish you'd invented something to get rid of them so I could retire honestly. I don't think I was meant to be a hero. I don't want the responsibility."

She gets up and walks over to where Wayne stands, placing a hand on his broad back, "But if you don't come clean, Megamind is going to pay for it and so am I. It's not even a matter of if I date him or not. It's too late for that. Did you see me calling for him from that tower on live TV? Even if I never went near him again, that alone is enough to damn me. He and I are in this together, whether we want to be or not. Do you know what they're going to accuse me of once they really think about it? They're going to claim I was in on it all the time, despite the fact that I wasn't. I was his bait for years. I told you we were at the abandoned observatory. Titan thought I was Megamind's lover. It won't take long for other people to come up with that too. I am going to be known as the woman who betrayed Metro Man. In every way possible. My reputation is _ruined_. I might even end up with my _own_ impressive prison sentence. The only chance I have is to make the city love him. And that's going to be nearly impossible if you insist on staying dead, Wayne," she steps around him and forces him to look her in the eye, "Please, are you still my friend at all?"

"Of course, Roxy. But I'm not a hero anymore. I'm sorry you got dragged into this, but I can't save you this time."

"How about if you just show yourself to a few people? Like the DA that prosecutes us or the judges presiding over our cases?" Roxanne hopes he'll accept this, at the very least. Her only other option is something she really doesn't want to do. It makes her sick to think of it.

"I'm sorry, Roxy. I'm done."

She gasps out a sob and turns away from him, angrily kicking his Roomba and sending it flying. 752 catches it out of the air and places it gently on the floor. The bots whine, but keep a safe distance. They are used to Daddy's temper, but haven't experienced Mommy's yet. They are cautious, waiting to see what she will do. Megamind comes up behind her and wraps an arm around her. She turns toward him and lowers her head to his shoulder for a moment. Megamind looks steadily at the former hero, but says nothing. After a minute she pushes away and glares at Wayne.

"It doesn't bother you to live a lie?" she asks, challenging.

"Not enough that I won't do it," he answers.

She nods angrily, squaring her shoulders, "Then I'll lie too, Wayne. If we're going to be blamed for your murder, then we'll do everything we can to make the city _glad_ he killed you. I will turn you into a _monster_ and you won't be able to defend yourself, because you're _dead_!"

Wayne feels a chill run down his spine, watching Roxanne's angry eyes. "How are you going to do that, Roxy?"

"Why, Wayne," she giggles nervously, holding a hand over her mouth until she's calmed herself, "Everyone knows I was your girlfriend. Even Megamind knew that. He told the whole city. No one will doubt it. And I often complained to my friends about the bruises you'd leave on me when you carried me. It will be easy to turn those into evidence of something more. Do you remember last year, when I broke my wrist falling down the stairs? I know that's in my medical records. That I fell down the stairs. I remember the doctor looked at me suspiciously when I told him that's what happened. It really was, but isn't that what battered women always say? That they fell down the stairs? I was off camera for a week until the bruises on my face faded. Every injury I've sustained in the last five years, if there weren't witnesses to how it actually happened, will become _your_ fault."

"You wouldn't," he denies it, fear creeping into his invulnerable heart.

"We had no choice, Wayne," she continues, "You threatened to kill me if I ever left you. I couldn't even run away. If I did, you'd find me. When Megamind found out, he was livid." she turns toward Megamind, "When was it you started seriously trying to kill him rather than just make him agree to leave the city and never return?"

"About 4 years ago."

She turns back to Wayne, "Yes, that's when he found out. It was the only way to escape. That's why I fell for the villain, you see. He was going to save me from you, Wayne."

"There's no way the story will hold up. It's too complicated to weave it into what actually happened," argued Wayne sensibly.

"No, that's the beauty of it. Megamind has been stalking both of us for years and his creatures keep such meticulous records. Lucky for me, you and I spend so much time by ourselves, without pesky alibis. Lots of spaces to fill in our dates and fights. We'll even start some internet rumors to fan the flames," she clenches her fists and glares up at her friend, "If you have no problem ruining his life, I have no qualms ruining Metro Man's." Her voice is completely serious and she's staring him down purely by the strength of her own will. Megamind is suddenly struck by how bad an idea this could turn out to be.

Wayne clenches his fists, his body shaking. His eyes glow red and he grinds his teeth. Megamind steps between the two of them, not sure what he can do, but determined to defend her. The brainbots, also sensing danger, position themselves to either side of Daddy, their eyes flashing menacingly. "What makes you think I won't _actually_ kill you Roxy? I could do it easily. Humans are so fragile."

She pushes aside her protectors to lay a cool hand on Wayne's flushed cheek, "Because I know you like nobody else does, Wayne Eugene Scott. You'd never hurt me anymore than he would," she jerks her head to the side to indicate Megamind, "You're a good man. Maybe not a hero anymore, but still a good man," she sighs, biting her lower lip and continues quietly, imploringly, "I don't want to do it, but if we killed Metro Man, we need a good reason. Something to justify it in people's minds. The reputation of a dead man is worth less than nothing compared to our lives, Wayne. And if sacrificing Metro Man's memory will save us, I will do it in a heartbeat. Please don't make me do it."

Wayne feels trapped and turns away with a snarl, stalking across the room and slamming a fist into the wall, burying his arm up to the elbow. Pieces of bedrock, cement, and drywall scatter as he removes his arm. He takes several deep breaths to calm himself, not looking at his guests.

"There is another solution," offers Megamind, when he judged the timing was right.

"Metro Man is dead," he insists with a growl.

"I know," answers Megamind, "But perhaps you'd be willing to show a few key people that Wayne Scott is not. A few judges, the DA, the mayor, once we get one into office again. People who can prevent us from being convicted of your murder. People whose favor would help smooth things over."

"But then they'd want me to be Metro Man again," he says hopelessly.

"Then you tell them no. Who'd believe them if they told anyone. Everyone knows your dead. They saw your skeleton," Megamind answers.

"The alternative is that we destroy Metro Man's memory and turn him into a monster and all of this," she gestures around the room at the memorabilia displayed, "means nothing."

Wayne knows he's defeated. He nods. "I'll show myself to a few people. Just let me know who and when," He doesn't meet his visitor's eyes, staring at the wall.

Roxanne awkwardly pats his shoulder. "I'm sorry," she says.

"Just go," he answers.

They leave, walking in silence down the entrance tunnel. The brainbots fly them through the trapdoor and assist in closing it behind them. All four climb into the invisible car and drive toward home. After awhile Roxanne looks back to see a streak of white shoot into the sky away from the city.

"Do you think he'll keep his word?" she asks Megamind.

"If he doesn't, we still have plan B," He opens a compartment and hands Roxanne the manila envelope that was inside. She opens it and removes a disguise watch of more feminine design than his, documents for three people she's never seen before, and two sets of documents with her own face but false names. She straps the watch to her wrist.

"One way or another, I'll keep you safe, Roxanne." he promises her.

"Can you pull over?" she asks. He finds an empty drive into a farm field and pulls into it. As soon as he parks, Roxanne crawls across the center console and into his lap, "Just hold me Megamind." she asks, "Don't let me go." He does and she buries her face into his neck and cries. He holds her long after her tears have passed.

**I love brainbots. I actually looked up the dimensions of a real roomba to use. A couple things. A roomba's travel pattern doesn't make a circle around the room like I said. It's more random-looking. I also don't know how loud one is, so that may be wrong on that too. I just loved the idea of the brainbots attacking Wayne's roomba. I hope you liked it too. **

**Also, I love the idea that the brainbots decide she's Mommy, not Megamind. They're pretty smart little cyborgs, after all. **

**I borrowed heavily from dragonslover1's **_**Bad to be Good**_** story for her blackmail threat. I even lifted Wayne's middle name from that. It's a great story and I recommend you reading it if you haven't already. **

**I know there are different interpretations on Wayne and Roxanne's relationship. It's never exactly explained in the movie other than saying that they weren't a couple. So, they could be absolutely nothing to each other, or they could be good friends. He's not her type, but that doesn't mean that he wasn't attracted to her. And nothing to say she minds him calling her Roxy, either. **

**Unfortunately, I've kind of got writer's block for what happens next. Any suggestions? Should I hook it into my story **_**Megamind's Life with Roxanne**_**, Or should I risk possibly breaking with cannon to have a bunch of other crap happen to them instead? They'll end up together, one way or another, but will their plan work? I dunno. What do y'all think I should do? **

**Review please! It makes me happy and I'm almost to 100 reviews (a meaningless big round number that none-the-less seems impressive to me for some reason). **


	9. Parking

**Up until now, I've been pointing this story toward joining into my other story **_**Megamind's Life with Roxanne**_**. I kinda had writer's block because I sort of unintentionally made their relationship very intense. The way I wrote them, these are not characters that are going to wait until they're married to have sex. I just don't believe it and if I don't believe it, how do I write it? But my other story made them wait until their wedding night (all for the sake of one joke I wanted to put in). So, this is going to go in a different direction now. It's very likely the rating on this thing will go up soon (I can hear you dirty monkeys cheering already). But not **_**just**_** yet. Anyhoo. Here you go! **

106 and 752 crouch on their metal tentacles in the back seat of their daddy's parked invisible car. They watch through the windows as the occasional vehicle drives past on the two-lane country highway. They spare the occasional glance toward Daddy, who is sitting in the driver's seat with Mommy sitting sideways across his lap. Neither of them appear to be doing anything. They're just sitting there with their arms around each other. Mommy sniffs occasionally and her eyes are red and puffy, but they've stopped leaking water. 106 wonders if they're sharing data silently through a comlink, like the brainbots routinely do. If so, it wonders why their communications aren't on the same frequency the brainbots use. Perhaps it's because they're biological beings rather than cybernetic organisms. Their communications signals may be incompatible with brainbots. 106 shares its theory with 752, but 752 expresses a profound disinterest in the subject.

Eventually, the humanoids begin to move again. At first only slightly. Daddy shifts a bit so that his mouth and nose are buried in the angle where Mommy's shoulder meets her neck. His mouth makes a small, wet sound as he kisses her gently. She pulls back from him and moves her face in front of his. She leans forward and their lips meet. The bots watch their lips rubbing and pressing against each other in a strangely rhythmic fashion. Soon their mouths open slightly, and 106 observes their tongues licking into each other's mouths. They moan quietly and begin to move their hands, stroking each others backs. Daddy removes his gloves and tosses them carelessly into the backseat. One lands on 752. The younger bot retrieves the discarded gloves and folds them together for when Daddy needs them again. The bots watch as Daddy moves one bare hand up to cup the back of Mommy's head, tangling his blue fingers in her short brown hair and pulling her closer to him.

Mommy places her hand on Daddy's cheek and runs her manicured nails along his jaw and up the edge of his ear to its slightly pointed tip. She pushes his high collar back and traces her fingers lightly down the nape of his neck. As she does this, Daddy suddenly stills and his half-lidded eyes roll back in his head. He gasps and shudders slightly at her touch. She pulls her hand back quickly, asking, "Did I hurt you." The brainbots wonder as well. They aren't sure what they're supposed to do if it looks like Mommy is hurting Daddy.

But, to their relief, they don't have to do anything. "No, not at all," Daddy answers, his eyes strangely unfocused, "That feels _so_ good. I—My skin is very sensitive back there. It's part of the reason for the high collars."

"Only part?" she asks, teasingly.

"They're also terrifyingly villainous," he says seriously.

"Of course." She grins. She moves her hands to the front of his cape and unfastens the clasp. She pushes it off his shoulders and it falls back behind him to be pinned between his back and the car seat. His breathing becomes heavier as he anticipates what she's about to do. Just as he expects, she rests her forearms on his thin shoulders and runs her nails lightly up the very back of his neck to the base of his skull. He moans unintelligibly. "Do you like that?" she asks, already sure of his answer.

"More than you can possibly imagine," he tells her. She does it again and he unconsciously rocks his pelvis upward against the side of her thigh.

She raises her eyebrows as she asks, "That much?"

He blushes lilac, realizing what he'd just done. He stammers, "I'm sorry, Roxanne. I—It's just that—When you do that—It…"

"Turns you on?" she suggests with a wicked little grin.

"Evil gods, yes," he gasps, glad she understands and hasn't run screaming from the car.

"Mmmm… Good." She puts her mouth back on his and they resume kissing, touching, and slowly rubbing up against each other.

106 wonders what they mean by turning Daddy on. Wasn't Daddy already on? He was awake, not powered down for the night. 106 consults 752, who suggests that perhaps Daddy has a switch in the skin on the back of his neck that powers him on or off. 106 speculates that, if that were true, it's probably a good precaution for Daddy to protect it with a collar.

106 floats closer to study what they're doing, his eyestalk extending until it's only a few inches from them. Roxanne opens her eyes and notices the brainbot in her periphery. She freezes, then pushes herself away from Megamind. "Mft?" he asks, opening his own eyes and looking around, wondering what had gone wrong.

"I forgot we had an audience," she tells him, straightening her clothes self-consciously.

He chuckles, "They're just brainbots. They won't bother us."

"Yes, but they're still _watching_," she insists.

"I could send them away," he offers hopefully, leaning forward to nip at her neck. He likes what they've been doing and he doesn't want to stop.

She pushes him back away from her, but not roughly. "No." She sighs heavily. She doesn't really want to stop either. "We should probably stop anyway. Otherwise we'll end up having sex in the backseat like a couple of teenagers."

"Would that be such a bad thing?" he asks her. He looks up into her eyes with a hopeful grin, his eyes large and pleading. Roxanne wonders how a supervillain is even capable of that kicked-puppydog gaze.

"No," she answers slowly, "But you're the city's Overlord. I expect something classier than the backseat of a car." She wrinkles her nose at the idea.

His eyes widen as he processes what she's just said, "Wait… Are you saying you _would_ have sex with me, but just not here in the backseat?"

She shrugs and answers, "The thought had crossed my mind." She can't keep the smirking smile from her lips. The fact was, the thought had more than crossed her mind. It had arrived with a fanfare, staked out a prime piece of real estate front and center, and proceeded to annex any neighboring territory that wasn't heavily guarded. At the moment, far more of her brain is occupied with the idea than she wants to admit.

A similar idea is taking up significant space in his mind as well. "Well, ah— Where and when were you thinking that this—ah—sex—might occur?" He noticed that his voice came out significantly higher pitched than he'd intended. He clears his throat and tries to look nonchalant.

"I don't know," she laughs. He's not fooling her. "It's not like I'm following some evil plan to seduce you."

"Ah, yes. Roxanne Ritchi's Evil Plan #1: Seduce the Overlord and Become Queen of Metrocity. It's a good plan. I like it_._ Bold, ambitious, and erotic."

"We're trying to get you _out_ of the Overlord business, not drag me _into_ it," she giggles.

He shrugs, "Have it your way. You don't have to be Queen. You can stop at seduction if you like." He pulls her against him and begins thoroughly nibbling her right ear. His goatee tickles her neck delightfully and she allows him to distract her for a few enjoyable minutes before she stops him again.

"I'd rather not do this in the car," she reminds him.

"You're right. I can do better than this," he murmurs into her ear, "Stay with me again tonight."

"A couch isn't much better than a car seat," she points out.

"Isn't it better than sleeping at you sister's again?" he asks, remembering her complaint from earlier about the comfort of her sister's spare bed.

She remembers how nice it had felt to wake on his couch with his arm wrapped comfortably around her. She also remembers the bar in the middle of her sister's fold-out bed which kept her tossing and turning until at least 1am last night. "Well… yes…"

"It's settled then. Call your sister before you change your mind."

"Now?" she asks. She's nervous about calling her sister. Rose won't disapprove. Quite the opposite, in fact. But Roxanne is much more private than her sister when it comes to her love life. She doesn't want to talk about it, especially with Megamind right there.

"Why not?" His hand appears holding her phone. He pushes a few buttons and scrolls through her contact list.

"How'd you get that?" Her cell phone had been in her pocket, but she hadn't even noticed him take it.

"I picked your pocket. I'm a thief, remember?" He selects the entry labeled _Rose Ritchi_ and pushes send. Roxanne hears the ringing and grabs for the phone. Megamind holds it out of her reach and captures both of her wrists in one hand, grinning mischievously. When they hear Rose's voice answer, he puts the phone to his ear, Roxanne glaring at him. "Ollo, is this Miss Rose Ritchi?... ... ... Excellent! This is Megamind, Incredibly Handsome Benevolent Overlord and Boyfriend to Your Sister. I just wanted to let you know that Roxanne won't be staying at your house tonight… ... ... She'll be with me, of course… ... ... That's _exactly_ what I'm hoping… ... ... She is, huh? Interesting… ... ... Oh, I intend to. Goodbye, Miss Ritchi." He clicks the clamshell closed, releases Roxanne wrists, and smiles smugly.

Roxanne doesn't bother asking what her sister said. She knows her too well. She also knows her sister will demand _details_ next time she talks to her. She takes back her phone and says, "You're evil, Megamind."

"And you love it," he challenges her.

She can't keep from smiling. It's absolutely true, despite all the trouble he causes her. But she doesn't admit it. Instead, she kisses him on the nose before scrambling over the center console to climb into the passenger seat. "We should get back to the evil lair. Minion will worry if we're gone too long."

Megamind sighs, acknowledging that she's right. He doesn't want to go back yet, but he consoles himself with the knowledge that she'll be with him tonight. Once they're on the road again, Roxanne captures his hand and holds it the whole ride back. The brainbots watch in silence.

**Review please. **


	10. Work First, Then Play

**I've lost track of what day this is supposed to be. I'm not sure if I mentioned it and I can't recall it saying in the movie. So, I'm saying today's a Monday. Work for you? Good. :)**

**One thing I wanted to touch on in here was why the heck hasn't anyone come in and ousted him? I'm not talking about rival villains, or even a new superhero. I mean, the army. Why hasn't Obama sent in the troops? I mean, this is a superhero universe. Where industrial accidents and medical malpractice are as likely to confer super powers as they are to maim or kill. We know Metro Man's not the only super because there's also Hot Flash, Psycho Delic, Lady Doppler, and all the other villains in the art book and video games. So, why is Megamind still Overlord? **

**The next chapter will probably be smutty, but not just yet. **

**Okay, on to the story…**

Very few chairs can handle the considerable weight of Minions mobile habitat and, being robotic, it can hold nearly any position indefinitely without discomfort. For this reason, he rarely bothers sitting. Currently he is kneeling with the knuckles of one artificial simian hand pressed against the floor. His other hand jabs at blinky buttons and flips switches as he scans a bank of monitors above the impressive control panel. It would be simpler to design the interface to use a standard keyboard and mouse, but it would hardly be impressively villainous. It's all about presentation and the cumbersome control panel is much more fitting for his boss's evil image. The fish doesn't mind. He thinks the colorful lights and tesla coils are pretty. They cheer up the dark, dank lair a little bit.

Many of the screens are showing broadcasts from various news networks, both local and national, and others are displaying pages from various internet sites. One is showing what appears to be security camera footage from a meeting room where half the city's elected officials are gathered. The monitor directly in front of him shows a list of email and other electronic communications. Another is randomly cycling through various views of the exterior of the abandoned factory that houses the evil lair. One shot catches a slight shimmer as something cloaked passes through the hologram hiding the entrance to the building.

He turns in his dome as he hears two car doors slam and the bowg-bowging of every brainbot in the lair as they swarm their daddy and Miss Ritchi. He hears both of them croon to the bots and then he hears the clattering of a wrench hitting a far wall and falling to the floor. One brainbot, from the sound of it, also clatters into the wall. Probably 10-23. It does that a lot.

Minion stands and walks his robot body towards the garage and his master. He's pleased to see both Sir and Miss Ritchi smiling at each other as they walk, hand-in-hand, toward the more comfortable areas of the lair. He's glad to know that Sir is finally getting his chance at a romance with Miss Ritchi. He just hopes, for once, things don't go horribly wrong.

As Minion watches them, Megamind turns toward his friend, beaming. "Good afternoon, Minion! Tell me, how is my city doing today? Any rebel attacks or police uprisings?"

"No sir, nothing like that. However, there is a group of protesters occupying the mall in front of city hall and the city council is meeting in a," air quotes, "'secret location' to discuss how to overthrow you. I'm recording the meeting, but I don't think it's really anything to worry about."

"You know where it is?"

"Of course, sir."

"Good. Send a brainbot over…" he snatches a piece of paper and pencil off a nearby table and scrawls out the words _I see you_ on the page. "…with this." He hands the paper to his friend, a huge grin splitting his face. Roxanne looks like she's trying to scowl at him in disapproval, but it isn't working. Her lips keep stretching upward into a grin that mirrors his.

One robot finger raised in objection, Minion asks, "Sir, isn't that a little bit childish?"

Megamind releases Roxanne and puts a friendly arm around the back of Minion's suit, having to stretch upwards rather far to reach it. "Oh, you're such a pill, Minion. Being Overlord is supposed to be _fun_." He pushes the fish's habitat playfully, causing the water to slosh alarmingly.

Annoyed, the fish is forced to flick his fins frantically to compensate for the movement of the water. He wryly observes, "I thought it was Mel-on-koly."

Megamind doesn't notice the sarcasm or the mispronunciation, "That was before. Now the world is perfect and _rosy_." He puts his arm around Roxanne's waist and squeezes her as if to prove his point.

Minion studies the two through narrowed eyes. "Did I miss something?" he asks.

"Yes, but nothing important, Minion," Roxanne answers with an indulgent smile at her boyfriend, "He's just in a very good mood."

"Yes, I am," Megamind agrees, gazing into her eyes with a smug expression. Then, in the blink of an eye, his attention is on Minion instead, "Well, go on," Megamind tells his friend impatiently, removing his arm from Roxanne to rub his hands together in front of his chin and chuckle evilly. "Give that to a brainbot. I want to see their expressions when they read it." He's literally bouncing on the balls of his feet in excitement.

"Yes sir." Minion calls over a brainbot and gives it some instructions. When he's done, he returns to the bank of monitors to find that his boss has pushed his favorite leather desk chair over and is now sitting in it with Roxanne curled in his lap. Her right arm is around his neck, draped across his shoulders, and Megamind's left arm crosses her back, his hand at her hip. Despite their close contact, they're not concentrating on each other very much. Instead, they're both leaning forward to watch the meeting room displayed on the screen in front of them.

The sound is switched on and they listen to the people in the room discuss how to get the National Guard to come in to oust Megamind. To call up the Guard, the governor must declare a state of emergency or the federal government could declare a national emergency. Unfortunately for the city council, the governor is balking because the state budget is in crisis, like many around the country. Michigan doesn't want to foot the bill unless it has to. The federal government doesn't think Megamind poses a threat to anyone outside of the Metro City area, and certainly not outside the state of Michigan. They're insisting it's a local problem. In other words, they don't want to pay for it either.

Even the city council is not unanimous in support of overthrowing their Overlord. One of the members, a Union boss, argues against removing Megamind because he's promised jobs to Union workers. Two other members are in favor of meeting with him to see what he's planning. Those who agree he needs to go can't agree on how to go about it. Most think the National Guard is the answer, but one is in favor of contacting the Heroes Consortium and hiring a replacement for Metro Man to do the job. Another has managed to make contact with an assassin for hire. The Deputy Mayor, Mike Shaffer, boldly vows to bring a handgun to the meeting Megamind is trying to set up and take care of the problem himself. It seems that the only thing the representatives can agree on is that they don't agree.

While they argue, the messenger brainbot flies to the 'secret location' and makes its way through the building and to the door of the meeting room. It knocks politely and Shaffer opens the door, jumping back and giving a very good lady scream when he sees what's waiting for him. The bot bowgs at him several times. When the man makes no move to respond, only staring at it in terror, the bot floats in with its tendril extended and places its message in the Deputy Mayor's hand. Then, its mission complete, it bowgs politely before turning to fly away. The man slowly opens the folded paper with trembling hands and reads it. As he does, his face drains of color and he darts out of the room without even telling the others what the note says. The paper drifts to the floor. Councilwoman Patricia Schultz rolls her eyes at her colleague's retreat and bends to picks it up the note. She reads it aloud and turns the page to the room for everyone to see. The council members scramble to pick up their bags and flee. It's not quite a stampede, but close.

Mrs. Schultz is apparently the only one sensible enough not to panic. She sighs as the room clears and glances around to try to spot the camera she assumes is there. "Funny, Megamind. Real funny," she mutters. Not seeing the camera and having no real reason to remain in the empty room, she unhurriedly gathers her things and walks out. She has the presence of mind to switch off the light behind her. Miles away, Megamind and Roxanne collapse against each other in a fit of giggles.

Once Megamind recovers, wiping tears from his eyes, he says, "Okay, you're right, Minion. That was childish." He giggles again. "But funny."

"Evil," pronounces Roxanne, poking him in the chest for emphasis.

Megamind captures the offending digit and brings it to his mouth for a kiss. "No it wasn't," he objects, "I didn't hurt anyone." He continues to place soft kisses on her hand and wrist, his green eyes locked onto her blue ones the whole time. The phrase _get a room_ flits across Minion's brain as he watches, but he's far too polite to say anything.

After a long minute completely oblivious to the henchfish's discomfort, Roxanne takes control of her hand again and pulls it out of range of her boyfriend's lips, resting it instead on his chest. He pouts at her, but lets her get away with it, since she's still in his lap. "You scared everyone in the room!" she exclaims, picking up the argument again.

"Not everyone," he corrects her.

"I bet you made Mike Shaffer wet his pants. How am I going to get them to meet with you now?" Without even noticing she's doing it, she begins to stroke the slick, skin-tight fabric of his shirt. Underneath the cloth, she can feel the edge of the bandage wrapped tightly around his chest to help with his cracked ribs. She wonders how well he's healing.

"I have faith in you," he assures her, burying his nose briefly in her neck and enjoying her scent. "You'll manage," He takes a deep breath without any apparent discomfort. "Okay, okay," he says, sitting up and dragging his attention away from his girlfriend's tempting attributes and wandering hand. He focuses himself on his friend and straightens his face, "Back to work. Minion, what else did we miss?"

Pleased to have his boss's attention again, Minion reports, "Nothing much, sir. Most city workers are back on the job. It looks like it's averaging about 80% and they're already starting to hire replacements for the no-shows. A lot of the protestors at city hall are unemployed. It's part of the reason they're protesting. So, I sent some recruiters down there to see if we could hire them to fill some of the city's vacancies."

"That's a good idea," Roxanne compliments Minion with a warm smile.

"Thank you, Miss Ritchi." Minion is glad someone appreciates his work.

"Yes, good thinking, Minion," Megamind echoes distractedly. His determination to focus on what he's supposed to be doing has apparently slipped. He's captured Roxanne's hand again and is staring raptly at their entwined fingers. Minion wonders if he's even listening.

"So, does your good mood mean that Metro Man agreed to come out of hiding?" Minion asks the lovebirds, hoping at least one of them is paying enough attention to answer him. He expects it to be Miss Ritchi, who seems the least distracted of the two.

He's surprised when Megamind answers, "Unfortunately, no." Apparently, he is paying more attention to the fish than he appears to be. Minion thinks he should have expected that. Sir is excellent at multi-tasking. "The glaupunk is still hiding in his pretty little hole singing to himself. But everything went according to plan. Roxanne was magnificent! You should have seen her, Minion. She threatened him where it hurt, didn't accept any of his excuses, and didn't back down. I've never seen anyone stand up to him like that." He gazes at her proudly.

"You have, sir." Minion points out.

"Yes, but that was when he was playing by the rules. He isn't the hero anymore. He's dangerous now. I didn't realize quite how dangerous until too late." He kisses her captive hand again, feeling inordinately lucky that they both got out of there unscathed, "She forced him to agree to show himself to a few people in private. It should be enough to prevent the murder conviction, at least. It could have gone worse."

"A _lot_ worse," she agrees seriously, "I thought he was going to _kill_ me. I've _never_ seen him that close to losing it before. His eyes were glowing and he punched through a cement wall! I was sure I'd pushed him too far. It was like Hal all over again." Her good mood is gone and she seems shaken. For the first time Minion notices that her eyes look puffy, as if she'd been crying recently. "I burned a bridge today. I hope it's worth it."

Megamind squeezes her closer and kisses her on the top of her head. "It will be. I promise." he assures her. He glances over her head to meet Minion's eyes, his expression serious. Minion nods, understanding the size of the sacrifice Roxanne made for Megamind today. She'd thrown away an important longtime friendship for his benefit. And she'd risked her life to do it. Minion is impressed.

She gives in to the comfort of Megamind's arms, but only for a moment. She's always resented being the damsel and doesn't like being weak and helpless. She's done enough of that already today. Soon she sighs and sits up straight. There are still things to do if their plan is going to work. Cuddles will have to wait. "Now that we know what Wayne's doing, I have some people I need to contact. I also need to reassure a roomful of city council members that you're not going to kill them in their sleep, thank you very much for that," she says, as if she hadn't been giggling right alongside him, "And I think you still have some Overlordy things to do yourself. As much fun as this is," she traces her finger along his jaw line, pausing with her thumb brushing his lips "We should probably get back to work."

He snaps his teeth playfully at her thumb. "We don't have to start on all that just yet," he coaxes, his voice low and sexy. A few feet away, Minion wonders if they'd notice if he left and starts edging away.

"The sooner we start, the sooner we're done," she points out, refusing his advance. She leans in to place her lips near his ear and whispers too quietly for Minion to overhear, "Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere tonight." She kisses him just under his earlobe before pushing herself off his lap and onto her feet. He moans as he loses contact with her. "Minion, can you help me get my laptop set up on your wi-fi? I'm sure you boys have some serious security hoops to jump through to access it."

Caught in mid-retreat, the piscine turns back, relieved that they're not pawing at each other but concerned by the dark look Megamind is giving him.

"No need to inconvenience Minion. I could do that for you," offers Megamind, jealous that she'd asked Minion to help instead of him.

"Yes, Sweetie. I know. But I'd rather have Minion do it," she answers without elaborating.

Megamind crosses his arms over his chest and glowers at his friend.

"Actually, Miss Ritchi, Sir is better at setting up network connections than I am." The fish objects politely. He certainly doesn't want to get between the two of them.

"I'm sure that's true. But the kind of connection _he's_ planning on making has nothing to do with my _computer_." She locks eyes with Megamind briefly, making sure the blue man gets her meaning, then looks back at Minion, who's wide eyes testify to his understanding as well. "It would be better if you helped me instead." She smiles innocently at the fish.

Minion glances at his boss, who's now actually _leering_ at Roxanne. "Are you sure, Miss Ritchi? Because I could find something to do outside the lair if you two want some time alone…" He doesn't want Megamind accusing him of forgetting his place again.

"Don't worry, Minion. He can wait," she smirks, knowing Megamind's far too much of a gentleman to push her farther than she's ready for. She just hopes he doesn't realize exactly how ready she already is. She tells herself firmly that she can wait also.

Minion looks uncertainly at Megamind whose expression suddenly changes, becoming blasé. He casually changes his seating position to cover for tugging discretely at his pants which have become uncomfortably tight in a certain place. He turns his chair away from his friend and girlfriend and stares resolutely at the monitors instead. "She's right, Filet Minion," he tells them in a bored tone of voice, "I have more important things to do at the moment. An Overlord's work is never done. Go give her whatever help she needs and leave me alone." He flaps his hand at them in a shooing motion to encourage them to leave.

Roxanne scoffs at his act, but doesn't call him on it. Minion is relieved that he isn't making a fuss.

"Yes, sir," the fish answers. Turning to Roxannne, he tells her, "Come this way and I'll set you up at this table over here..."

She smiles at the back of her boyfriend's giant bald head before turning to follow Minion. Megamind turns around as he hears her footsteps retreating and watches her hips sway as she walks away from him. Just before disappearing around the corner, she turns her head and catches his gaze. _Later, Spaceman,_ she mouths. He nods, taking it as a promise. They both turn away reluctantly to concentrate on their own tasks.

0o0o0o0oo0o0o0o

Minion walks Roxanne across the lair to a workbench holding a few books and papers. It's not in the direct line-of-sight of the area he expects Megamind to be working in. He doesn't know exactly what's going on with the pair, but he has a good idea that they'll each focus better with the other out of sight.

He calls two brainbots over and has them clear off the work space. They carefully roll up the blueprints and stack the books before flying them off to deliver them to their proper storage location. He sends another bot off to find Roxanne's laptop bag, which she'd left in the car. When it returns, she starts it up and logs in. Minion notes the keys she presses, an old habit for the former villain's assistant, and is amused by her password: _abductedbyaliens_. Once in, she relinquishes the keyboard to Minion, who opens up her control panel and proceeds to change several settings, some of them quite obscure.

Once finished, he calls a brainbots over and gives it an instruction to complete the process. "780, please change security privileges for user Roxanne Ritchi on the server. Just give her internet access, that's all she should need."

The brainbots bowgs at him several times and the fish looks puzzled. "That doesn't make any sense. Bring me a communications screen." The brainbot floats away obediently.

"What's wrong?" Roxanne asks him.

"It won't let me change your user rights. Don't worry," he assures her with a toothy grin, "I'll get it straightened out in a minute."

The bot returns holding a small flatscreen that looks like a black iPad, but without the GUI interface. It holds the tablet out so Minion can read it easily. Roxanne, curious to see how the brainbot communicates, leans up against Minion's robot gorilla frame and cranes her neck to see. "Move it down so I can see too," she tells the bot, who adjust the screen angle as ordered. Minion is surprised that the bot obeys her.

"Why can't I change Miss Ritchi's security privileges?" Minion asks the brainbot.

A line of text appears at the top in blue. It reminds Roxanne of working from a DOS prompt.

_minion does not have access to change security rights for roxanne_ritchi_

"That's not right." Minion mutters. Minion has full security rights. The only user account he can't change is Megamind's. Other than that, he should be able to change anything on the entire system. He _has_ to have full access because his boss is so often absent. Megamind's plans frequently rely on Minion getting things set up without any help from him at all, which also gives Megamind an excuse to blame the fish for his plans failing. He wonders what could have happened. Had they been hacked? Now that sir is Overlord, their system has been fighting off more cyber attacks than normal, but as far as he knows nothing has gotten through. "When did this happen? Was the system compromised?"

_11:56am_

_no_

Maybe the system wasn't compromised, but something screwy is certainly going on and Minion is determined to get to the bottom of it. "Well, _something_ changed," he insists, "What was it? Why don't I have access?"

_security rights and designation changed for roxanne_ritchi_

security rights for roxanne_ritchi are read-only for minion

_Just like Sir's user account_, Minion thinks. "Did Sir do that?"

_no_

"Then who changed it?"

_change initiated by brainbot 106 and 752_

_change approved by all active brainbots_

The only way the brainbots are authorized to make system-wide changes without approval from Megamind or Minion is if they all agreed on it. One bot, on its own, is fairly unreliable. Their pack squabbles and canine tendencies often lead them astray. However, they're also remarkably intelligent thinking machines. Megamind and Minion have learned from experience that, if the brainbots ever manage to agree unanimously on anything, their conclusions are very nearly infallible. "You all decided this on your own?"

_yes_

"What exactly did you change?" he asks suspiciously.

_security rights for roxanne_ritchi changed from guest to administrator level alpha_

_designation for roxanne_ritchi changed from friend to mommy_

Minion's eyes bug out of his head and Roxanne nearly chokes, "What?" they both ask. The brainbot obediently displays the two lines a second time, although it isn't necessary. The previous lines are still visible on the screen.

"Why?" Minion sputters.

_previous designation was inaccurate_

_roxanne_ritchi is daddy's mate_

_designation mommy is correct_

Minion turns slowly in his dome toward Roxanne, who's blushing. He raises one eye-ridge and asks, "Miss Ritchi, what did you and sir _do_ while you were out today?"

"Not _that_!" she objects indignantly.

"You must have done _something_," the fish insists, gesturing toward the floating cyborg,"The brainbots think you're their Mommy!"

Roxanne blushes, thinking about what they'd done and discussed in the invisible car earlier, right in front of 106 and 752. But then something else occurs to her. Thinking aloud, she says, "Wait. 11:56 would have been about when we were arriving at Wayne's. That was before we—" Though not strictly chaste, they had done little more than kiss and flirt until after their visit with Wayne. She crosses her arms over her chest defiantly, "We hadn't done anything!"

Minion detects an unspoken _yet_ at the end of that sentence. Obviously, she and Sir had done _something_, but not until after 11:56am. He sighs, "You know what? Forget I asked. I really don't want to know. I'm a minion, not a chaperone." Besides, mammalian mating habits just seem wrong to the fish. Spawning is _so_ much more dignified.

"Thank you," she says, truly grateful that the fish isn't pushing for the details. It isn't that she's ashamed of making out with Megamind or of what she's hoping to do with him later, but she doesn't want to talk to Minion about it. It would be weird. "But I still don't understand. Why would my relationship with Megamind have anything to do with the brainbots and my user settings?"

Minion pauses for a moment, considering the question. Why _would_ sir having a girlfriend affect the brainbots at all? They've had trouble before with the brainbots' instinctual canine responses affecting their behavior in unexpected ways. That might be what's behind this. "How much has sir told you about the brainbots?"

"He said they're cyborgs. The living part came from dogs, which is why they like to play fetch. They're a lot smarter than dogs, though."

"That's right, Miss Ritchi. They came from dogs and dogs follow a pack hierarchy. Whether they're wild or pets, they try to please the higher-ranking pack members. The brainbots are similar. They see Sir and I as part of their pack. They recognize Sir as their alpha and I'm their beta. They obey us by instinct and because they're programmed to. If they think you're sir's mate, then they would view you as their alpha female. In dogs, the alpha female has the same authority over the pack as the alpha male. When they translated that into computer terms—"

"They gave me the same security rights as Megamind."

"Yes, Miss Ritchi. It just never occurred to me that they'd do that. The issue hasn't come up before."

_Of course it hasn't, if I'm his first girlfriend_, she thinks. "Is that a problem? Letting the brainbots obey me? I promise I won't abuse it."

"Well, it's not just the brainbots, Miss Ritchi. User rights are universal. You have access to everything in our system. A week ago, Sir would have been furious." He considers the problem, tapping his finger on his bowl near his chin. "But I don't really see the harm in it anymore. Besides, once the brainbots decide something unanimously like that, good luck changing their minds," Minion answers. _Also_, he thinks to himself, _They're probably right. _

Roxanne is silent a moment, thinking. Eventually she asks, "So… Does that mean I have internet access?"

"Yes, Miss Ritchi."

"Great! That's really all I needed." She checks the computer and confirms that she's online. "Thanks, Minion," she tells him. She opens her email client and syncs her inbox. She has hundreds of messages, most from outraged citizens furious at her for dating her late boyfriend's murderer. She deletes all of those without reply, leaving only the messages from people she actually needs to correspond with. Absorbed in her work, she doesn't notice Minion and 780 leave her side.

0o0o0o0oo0o0o0o

When Roxanne followed Minion away to set up her computer, Megamind considered running after her and dragging her off somewhere private. He doubted she'd resist very much and he _really_ wanted to, but he knew she was right. Work _then_ play. So, instead he turned his attention to his own tasks.

He began by scrolling through the emails and other electronic communications Minion had pulled up. The messages were skimmed from the inboxes and phones of the city council, mayor, police chief, union reps, and other important officials. They gave him a good idea of what they're all planning and what to watch out for.

For instance, Robert Moreno wasn't bluffing in the council meeting when he claimed to be in contact with an assassin. He'd even managed to find a competent one, which surprised Megamind. Unfortunately for the councilman, he was having trouble coming up with the cash for the job. He'd only collected a little over half. Still, that was more than sixty thousand dollars. All of which was, apparently, sitting unguarded in the councilman's home where any competent burglar could find it. Megamind had promised Roxanne he'd give up the life of crime and he had no intention of going back on his word. Still, he was tempted to send over a couple of brainbots to relieve the man of his savings. Instead he sent a carefully-worded message to his Uncle Vick about the councilman's activities, including the part about the cash. He expects the assassin will not be getting his money.

"Sir?" Minion asks from behind his master's chair.

"I'm busy Minion." Megamind answers without looking up or interrupting his typing.

"But, sir. It's about Miss Ritchi and the brainbots—"

"Have they been misbehaving again?" Megamind interrupted. "They better not have bitten her." If any brainbot dared to hurt his Roxanne, it would soon find itself contributing its parts to his scrap-heap.

"No, sir. Actually, they've been very well-behaved." Minion assured him.

"Well, then whatever it is, you take care of it." He waved his hand imperiously at the fish in dismissal, "I have Overlord work to do."

"But sir—"

"Oh, they're just brainbots. Honestly, you'd think you were afraid of cyborgs. Just go tell them I said to do whatever you tell them."

"Ah… Yes sir." Minion decides it can wait. Megamind hates being interrupted when he's in the middle of something and it really isn't worth the grief.

Megamind, reading a message that clears up the mystery of where the missing Mayor had gone, doesn't notice Minion wander off. He's too busy typing an email to the cowardly politician asking if he wants his job back. He makes sure to copy Roxanne on that one and smiles when he hears her laughter from across the lair a few minutes after he clicks send.

Minion, sure that he isn't needed at the moment, makes a list of what they need at the store, finds a disguise watch, and takes the invisible car to go out for the afternoon. Only the brainbots notice him go.

Megamind continues to sit in front of the monitors and opens his own email account. He'd given one of his email addresses out to the press shortly after yesterday's speech as part of his effort to appear more benevolent. After all, what's more benevolent than being open to listening to your citizen's concerns and complaints? Most of the messages would best be categorized as hate mail, but, genius that he is, he'd already set up a program to filter out all the rants and automatically respond to them with polite, content-specific form letters which Minion had insisted on writing for him after reading Megamind's attempts.

The next most common category is worse than hate mail. It's email asking specific questions about the day-to-day administrative tasks of running the city. Expense reports, vacation requests, policy questions, purchasing decisions: all the various minutia that was typically dealt with by the mayor and his staff. After staring at it awhile and wondering what the hell he's supposed to do with it, he forwards it all to Minion. After all, isn't that what a minion is for?

Surprisingly, he actually has some fan mail. And not the twisted sort of fan mail he is used to receiving in prison from lonely, disturbed women (and occasionally men) with no compunctions against sending inadequately clothed pictures of themselves to a supervillain. These are nice messages, like written versions of the conversation he'd had with the boy at the café earlier. A mother thanked him for cleaning up the park and said it looked nicer than it had in years. A woman who was mugged recently told him that a brainbot ran off her attacker and returned her purse. A boy told him he thought he had the coolest car and asked how he made it invisible. A man thanked him for returning the art to the museums and asked him which was his favorite piece. A third grade teacher thanked him for reopening the schools and attached scans of several children's art work, including two poster paint portraits of Megamind and four of Minion. Or, what he assumes to be Minion. Some of them are hard to tell. Answering those and many other friendly emails makes him feel good about the people of his city. It makes him think that, perhaps, he might actually _enjoy_ being their protector. Not just use it as a way to con them out of sending him back to prison.

Other messages are harder to read. His filters don't catch them because they're not precisely hate mail. Just letters asking him why. Why he'd killed Metro Man. Why he trashed the city. Why he'd terrorized them for years. Why he was so evil. These are mostly from children. Adults know better than to ask such things. He doesn't answer these questions because, despite his amazing intellect, he doesn't know what to say. Instead he files them away for later, when he might have answers to give.

Once he finishes his computer work, Megamind walks across the room and looks around the corner to where Roxanne is busy working. Her fingers dance across the keyboard, typing at what must be 80 words a minute, at least. Her face shifts from one expression to another as she types. Sometimes furrowing her brow as she stops her typing to consider her words. Sometimes lighting up as she reads or types something amusing. All the time leaning forward intently with her ankles crossed demurely under her chair. Occasionally she brushes her bangs out of her eyes with a swipe of her hand or nibbles on her thumbnail in thought. Evil gods, how he loves her. Once more, he considers dragging her away from her laptop and finally, _finally_ experiencing what he's been missing all these years. But she'd made it clear she wanted to get her work done first, and he knows she's right.

So, he turns instead to the never-ending chore of brainbots repair. It seems like there are always cyborgs to fix and the last battle with Titan was a massacre. He has hundreds in stasis just waiting on Daddy to patch them up.

0o0o0o0

Megamind sits on a stool, leaning forward over a steel table. A swing-arm lamp illuminates a scorched brainbot lying half disassembled on the table. It's the third one he's worked on this evening. This bot's melted dome has been removed along with its mangled eyestalk. The broken remains of its tentacles lay splayed out around it. All that damage is simple and easy to repair with new parts, barely worth his notice. The damage he's focused on is to the topmost organic circuit of the stack of four that make up the cyborg's living brain. He has white latex gloves on and is wearing a blue surgical mask over his mouth and nose. It's important to keep germs out of the brainbot's organic components to prevent infection.

Roxanne walks up behind him quietly and watches him work. He has a scalpel in his hand and is carefully cutting hard, blackened material away from what she assumes is healthy tissue. She watches, fascinated. With a pair of tweezers, he lifts a sheet of grey tissue from a waiting petri dish and lays it gently into the empty spot on the brainbot's circuitry. He trims it with the scalpel and the resulting patch is nearly seamless. He takes a bottle of yellowish liquid and pours a small amount onto the newly repaired tissue. Then he closes the compartment and secures the new lid with a screw in each of its six corners. He examines the scorched housing and checks the seal. Satisfied, he snaps his finger and another brainbot is at his side. It picks up its unconscious brother and floats away with it to another part of the lair where it will recover from surgery and have its broken parts replaced.

"Was that one of the brainbots that Hal destroyed?" she asks, coming closer now that his patient is off the table.

Megamind removes his gloves and mask and tosses them toward a nearby trash can. They miss and land on the floor, but another brainbot flies across the room and puts the litter where it belongs. Megamind sighs and rubs his eyes. He leans backward and stretches his back so that his spine pops. Then he turns to look at Roxanne with a smile. "Yes, but he'll be good as new in a week or so."

"Do you have to do that a lot?"

He shrugs, "Sometimes. The brainbots can handle most of the repairs, but tissue damage like that is beyond them. Minion can patch them up too, but it's difficult for him. He doesn't have the same manual dexterity that I do. So, unless I'm locked up, it's my job to repair that type of injury."

"It's my fault that they got hurt," she says quietly, feeling guilty for the pain she must have indirectly caused so many brainbots that day. She doesn't even know how many cyborg casualties there were. It's strange. She'd seen the little robots destroyed so many times. For years they'd been getting smashed by Metro Man, but she'd never given it any thought before. Thinking of the robotic carnage of all those years makes her feel vaguely sick. How many of Megamind's creations understood what happened to them when they were destroyed?

He pushes back from the table and signals for a bot to clean up the mess and put everything away. He takes Roxanne's hand and pulls her in front of him, her back to his chest. "There's no reason to feel guilty. You weren't the one that zapped them with lasers," he answers. He squeezes her tightly against him.

"But if I hadn't been there—"

"They thought it was fun," he interrupts, purposely derailing her train of thought.

"What? Getting burned up was fun? You made masochist cyborgs?" she asks, shocked at the idea. Even for Megamind, that seems wrong.

"No, not the burning part. That wasn't fun. But they liked the rest. The plan had everybody looking like me except me. They thought it was very funny." He turns his attention her neck, nuzzling it from behind with his nose and enjoying her scent. She smells like vanilla with something musky and undeniably female underneath. He wonders if it's too early to drag her off. They haven't had dinner yet, but he isn't really hungry. Not for food, anyway.

"I hadn't thought of it that way," she says, watching the brainbot that's tidying up the table he'd been working on. Who knew they had a sense of humor? "But, they still got hurt."

He sighs, pulling himself reluctantly back to the current conversation. "Yes and no. They're mostly robotic so they don't have pain receptors. They don't _like_ getting injured. It's uncomfortable for them, but they don't feel it as pain. You shouldn't feel guilty about it."

"Do you know they've decided I'm their mommy?" she asks.

"You're kidding?" He releases her from his arms in surprise, but she doesn't move away. Instead she leans back against him more firmly and captures his wrists, pulling his arms around her again.

"No. Minion discovered it when he was setting me up on your network," she explains, "They've decided I'm your mate."

"That's… weird. But harmless, I suppose. I guess that means they like you." He relaxes with her in his arms, then tenses up again as a thought occurs to him, "Wait. Is that why they obeyed you when you stopped them from killing Metro Mahn's vacuum? Did they… " he glances at the bot cleaning the table and immediately identifies it. "693, what is Roxanne's current security level?"

The bot bowgs at him several times. To Roxanne, it means nothing, but to Megamind, it's a straightforward answer. He rarely needs a communications screen to understand his creatures.

"You have access to everything," he tells her, slightly stunned at the implications.

"I know. Minion told me," she admits readily.

The old, evil part of him stirs suspiciously at the knowledge that the nosy reporter had unrestricted access to his system for the last 2 hours and 47 minutes and no one had told him. "You haven't been snooping around trying to learn all my secrets have you?" And why didn't Minion tell him? Where was the fish, anyway?

"No," she protests, annoyed that he'd even think she'd do that. She steps out of his arms and turns to meet his eyes, "I just spent the last 3 hours working as your official liaison to the city. Free of charge and on my day off too, I might add." Hands on her hips, she scowls at him, "I didn't have time for _snooping_."

Megamind feels immediately ashamed of his suspicion and panicked that he's made her angry. "I'm sorry," he apologizes hurriedly, "I shouldn't have said that. I guess I'm still not used to having you on my side for a change." He takes her hands in his and looks up at her with huge green eyes, "Forgive me?"

The edges of her mouth turn up reluctantly despite her best intentions. Finally she laughs. Of course she forgives him. "That's just not fair."

"What isn't fair?" he asks, pulling her back into his arms.

"That face. I can't say no to you when you look at me like that."

"Oh, really?" He grins and locks those electric green eyes on hers, "Have I discovered your weakness, Miss Ritchi?"

"What do you think?" She leans forward and kisses him long and slow, submitting willingly as he pulls her tight against him. His hands slide across her back, one hand heading upward to brush the back of her neck and tangle his fingers in her hair. The other hand drifts lower, hesitating at her waist, and then moving boldly on to cup one side of her round bottom. She doesn't object in the slightest and allows her own hands to drift upward to his weak spot. She wickedly plays with the back of his neck, grazing his smooth skin with her nails and stroking it firmly with her fingers. His eyes drift closed and he moans incoherently at her touch. She breaks their kiss and moves her mouth to his neck where she nibbles, licks, and sucks until he's grinding against her with barely controlled lust.

He summons all his willpower and pushes her away, panting and flushed. "Roxanne, don't tease me. You keep doing that and I won't be able to stop." He holds her in front of him by the shoulders, a foot of space between their bodies. He leans his head in, resting his forehead against hers. "Evil gods, I can hardly control myself as it is."

She takes his chin in her hand and tilts his face upward until their lips are only inches apart. "I don't want you to stop," she whispers.

**Aren't I such a mean, little tease? So, what do you think? You people want to read some smut, or should I kind of gloss over it and pick up the story after they've finished? And if I do details, what do you all like for alien anatomy? He doesn't have to be entirely human-like. Review and let me know what you'd like to see. No promise I'll use it, but I'd like to hear your ideas. **


	11. I don't want you to stop

**Okay, sounds like you all want smut, so I bring you smut. Humanoid smut too. Not one person asked for tentacles. I was surprised. You dirty monkeys aren't as freaky as I thought. **

**So, they're about to have sex. And I'm not fading to black. I'm describing it. So, if you don't want to read it, just skip this chapter and wait for the next one. That means you, kiddies. Out. Adults only. **

"I don't want you to stop." Her whispered assertion sends a thrill through his body. He can hardly believe her words.

"Are you sure?" he asks. A primitive part of his brain immediately screams at him for being an idiot. _Don't give her a chance to back out_, it tells him, _Do you want her to change her mind?_ No, he doesn't want that, but the question's already been asked. His heart hammers in his chest, thudding so hard he's surprised it's not audible.

Her smiling blue eyes sparkle as she her she glances downward and then meets his gaze through her eyelashes. _Did she just check me out?_ he wonders.

"Very sure," she answers, to his relief.

"Mmm" he hums, momentarily unable to form actual words. He takes a breath to clear his head. This time he manages to say, "Then let's go somewhere a little more private." He takes her hand and has a brief moment of panic when he wonders if his legs will obey him when he tells them to walk. They feel like jelly and his first few steps are shaky and awkward. Luckily, he manages to stay upright while he makes his way along the wall toward a non-descript door. She looks at him curiously. This isn't the way to the curtained-off corner with the couch they'd slept on the other night. He turns the handle and leans into the dark room beyond to switch on a lamp.

She follows him into the doorway and gasps as she sees what's inside. "You made me a bedroom!"

He has. Inside the room is a queen-sized bed with two bedside tables. A lamp is centered on each table and the bed has a headboard upholstered in black leather with silver studs. The sheets and pillows are pale blue and the bedspread is black. Aside from these three pieces of furniture, the room is empty. It clearly hasn't been a bedroom for long. It was probably an office or a storage room before the building was abandoned and then claimed by Megamind as his Evil Lair. Three walls are standard drywall painted a non-descript off-white with several scars and marks marring their surfaces. The fourth wall, opposite the doorway, is bare red brick with a line of high, frosted windows running along the very top against the ceiling, which is the hanging type used in most offices. A bank of florescent lights, switched off, takes the space of one ceiling tile. The floor is covered in one-foot white linoleum tiles and has a thick black rug covering most of it.

"I thought you might want to stay with me again and I didn't want to make you sleep on the couch," he explains, "So, I had the brainbots clean out this room and take a trip to the furniture store."

She wonders if the bots had cash, or if they'd just taken what Megamind wanted. She decides she doesn't want to know. Even if he paid for it, the money probably wasn't rightfully his. She remembers the huge TV screen he was so proud of and his explanation of where it came from. Most likely nearly everything in the entire lair was acquired by one form of theft or another. It'll take time before he's entirely on the right side of the law, if ever. She keeps her disapproval to herself. She knew what she was getting into when she decided to date him.

Her blue boyfriend hurries into the room and plops onto the bed, making himself bounce on the mattress several times in the process. He tells her excitedly, "I had no idea what kind I should get. I've never had a regular mah-tress like this. The ones in the prison are just pads and my cell hasn't even had _that_ for years. Not since I tore mine into strips to bind and gag some guards during one of my escapes. I didn't know if I'd like a firm one or a soft one and I didn't know what kind you liked. This one is a plush, which is supposed to be about in the middle. I hope that's acceptable, but if not, I can always get a different one, though probably not tonight." He's babbling, but doesn't seem to notice. "I didn't realize it would be this springy." He bounces again and grins at her, finally taking a breath. "What do you think?" he asks, suddenly nervous that she wouldn't like it or she'd think it presumptuous of him to get it.

Leaning against the doorframe watching her nervous spaceman, she answers, "I think you're a very sneaky man." A teasing smile slides across her face as she speaks. "When did you get this?"

"Yesterday," he admits, "I was hoping you'd stay with me last night," he pouts, "Not with your sister." Two nights ago was the first time he'd ever slept next to another person. He doesn't count sleeping with Minion years ago as a boy, not because Minion isn't a person, but because curling up with the fish's glass ball is hardly the same thing as having a soft, warm woman in his arms. He'd missed that last night and had had a hard time falling asleep because of it. All night he'd felt like something important was missing. In fact, he hadn't really felt right again until he'd joined her at the café for lunch today.

"If I'd known you had this, I might have. It certainly would have been more comfortable than Rose's sofa bed." Despite her words, she knows that a large part of the reason she'd had such a hard time sleeping last night wasn't actually the uncomfortable bar across the middle of the bed (thought that certainly didn't help). No, it was the conspicuously missing feel of thin arms wrapped around her waist and a lean body pressed against her back. She had wanted him to be with her and his absence had left her feeling lonely and cold all night. She's already realized that she doesn't feel quite whole when he isn't around.

"Well, come in!" He jumps up, takes her hand, and pulls her into the room. Kicking the door shut behind them, he pulls her down onto the bed. "Well?" he asks, watching her expectantly.

She bounces experimentally and then leans back onto the mattress, getting a feel for it, "It feels nice," she answers in approval. She slides off her shoes and scoots up to lie on the bed properly, with her head on a pillow. Megamind crawls up next to her and does the same, an idiotic grin splitting his face.

He looks so pleased, lying there next to her, that she can't stand it. Old habits compel her to pick at him. "Most people take their shoes off when they're on a bed," she observes with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh! Right!" He sits up and unbuckles his boots before kicking them off his feet to fall in a disorderly heap on the floor. He also unbuckles his de-gun holsters and lays it and the gun carefully on the table. "Better?"

"Much," she tells him, her own grin matching his. She's as eager for this as he is. Just yesterday she'd thought to make him wait. She didn't want to jump into things like her sister would, but she'd changed her mind. She's known Megamind for 5 years. She's been in love with him for weeks, even if she had thought he was Bernard. Considering that, they're not _really_ moving very fast at all.

He slides back across the bed and lies on his side with his head propped on his hand. He feels suddenly self-conscious. Is she really going to let him do this? Pushing back his uncertainty, he hooks a hand around her waist, pulling her suddenly closer so that their bodies are touching along nearly their full length. She responds eagerly by wriggling against him in a delightfully wanton manner, reminding him of what they were doing before coming in here for the privacy. "Temptress," he accuses her.

"Are you tempted?" she purrs. If he isn't, she certainly is.

He moves his head forward so his face is just inches from hers and, looking her right in the eye, answers, "Oh, yes," his voice low and seductive. How many times had he entertained thoughts of just what he could do to her tied to a chair or a wall? Or a bed? Oh yes, the job of a career supervillain did leave one with an undeniable fetish for bondage. He wonders if years of being tied up has left her with a similar fondness for ropes. He hopes so. Sometimes he used to torture himself by getting close to her like this, so close he could smell the vanilla scent of her hair, count the tiny freckles on her cheeks (there were sixteen), and ruffle her short hair with his breath. At those times the only thing that would hold him back was the certain knowledge that she would never be his. Because what he wanted so badly wasn't her body, though it was a tempting prize on its own. What he wanted was for her to want him. He longed for her to give herself to him willingly, not through some evil coercion, but because she honestly desired him. And here she is now, tempting him with the offer he had only begun three days ago to hope might be possible. Oh, yes. He _is_ tempted and, though his remarkable brain commands more raw intelligence than any other on this planet, he can't think of a single reason _not_ to take what he'd waited so long to have. "I am very—" He interrupts himself to kiss her softly on her luscious lips, "Very—" He kisses her again, "Tempted."

The third kiss is long and slow and builds a fire in Roxanne's center that makes her long to skip to the good part. _Down girl_, she tells herself, _You'll get there soon enough_.

When they finally draw back from each other, she chuckles, "I thought so." She'd suspected that he's wanted her for a long time. The way he flirted and showed off when she was around was a dead giveaway. She'd entertained her own fantasies about him for years, but never seriously considered acting on them because he was the villain. Her mother _was_ right. Good girls don't date supervillains, and one sure way for a TV reporter to get sacked is to get involved in something too scandalous. Her career depends on her being good, but for the first time in her life, she doesn't care. Oh, she'll try to have it all: career, reputation, him. But really, if she has to choose, she's already decided. Outside these walls, there's a whole city full of single men that no one would bat an eye at seeing on her arm. But the only one she desires is here. She can hardly wait to learn what her spaceman can do.

"What do we—How do we start?" he asks, eager to begin, but unsure of exactly how to proceed. There's a part of him that wants to just hike up her skirt and take her right now. The very thought makes his stiffening cock throb in anticipation. That would certainly do a lot to satisfy his years of pent-up sexual frustration, but he wants to please her as well. He's pretty sure ravishing her the first moment they're alone isn't the best way to impress her. That doesn't keep him from wanting to, though.

"You've never done this before, have you?" she asks, fairly certain that he hasn't. When would he have had the chance, if she's his first girlfriend? Unless, in prison…? No, she won't think that of him.

"No," he answers reluctantly, blushing violet in embarrassment. He doesn't really want to admit to being a 37-year-old virgin. "I've never been very interested in anyone except you, Roxanne." He doesn't really understand why that is. Most of the other men in the prison had bragged about their sexual exploits; how many women they'd had and the kinky things they'd done. Megamind was different. He'd never felt more than a vague longing for female companionship until the day he'd met Roxanne. Before that he'd assumed he just wasn't attracted to humans. After that, he'd had dreams and fantasies that drove him mad, but hers was the only face they ever featured. And so he'd spent years pining after the one woman he could never have.

_Some supervillain._ She pecks him on his nose and then snuggles in close to him. "Hmmm… I think I like the idea that you waited for me. I just wish I could say the same." Although she's hardly as experienced as her little sister, Roxanne has had more lovers than she'd care to admit. Though she's been frustratingly celibate ever since the two aliens decided to make her their damsel, she's no stranger to sex. At her age, this is nothing shocking or shameful, but she already knows she feels differently toward Megamind than she ever did toward any of her previous lovers. A part of her now feels slightly ashamed for mistaking the pale affection she'd felt for those other men for the intense and obvious _rightness_ she now feels with him. How did she miss seeing this in him all these years? _This_ is love. She can't imagine her life without him. Neither can she imagine waiting any longer to show him just how she feels. "Just do whatever feels good," she instructs him, "Show me what you like."

"What if I do something wrong?" he asks. He knows the mechanical basics of how their bodies fit together and which parts should be the most erogenous, but he's never actually _done_ it. He's worried that the execution will not match the plans and that the whole attempt will end in horrible failure.

"Then I'll just have to help you practice until you get it right," she answers, grinning wickedly. Then she says, more seriously, "Don't worry, it's your first time. Think of it as a test run."

The idea that she doesn't expect perfection makes him feel better. He's confident he'll learn what she likes quickly, but expects it might take a bit of trial and error at first.

She decides to encourage him by simply stroking his back through the skin-tight fabric of his super suit. He relaxes into her embrace, his own hands mirroring hers and rubbing her back. As her hands roam over his tightly wrapped ribs, up to his shoulder blades, and back down his spine she finds the ridge of a hidden zipper in his shirt. She traces it up to the back edge of his collar where she locates the pull and drags it downwards. For an instant, he seems surprised. He didn't think they'd start shedding clothes this soon, but isn't about to complain. He obligingly sits up to slide the shirt off, tossing it over the side of the bed. She whines in disappointment to find another layer under the first. She wants to see his skin.

He chuckles. "So eager to get my shirt off, Miss Ritchi?"

She raises an eyebrow but doesn't speak. Instead she runs her hands along his waist, looking for the shirttail for his soft knit undergarment. Not finding it, she tugs it upwards in frustration.

He laughs at her again. "The under suit is all one piece," he explains. "You can't pull it off that way."

_He needs simpler clothes_, she thinks. She studies the under suit, running her hands along his chest and then around the back, looking for a zipper or some other fastener like on his shirt, but doesn't find anything. The black material is very stretchy and the neck is quite wide. The neck hole actually looks wider than his narrow hips. She guesses that he gets into it through the neck, pulling the entire thing over his legs and up his body. She smirks, hooks her hands into the collar, and pulls it downward. Sure enough, it stretches easily and slides off his blue shoulders. He cooperates and frees his arms from the undergarment, which now hangs loosely around his waist.

With his shirt off, she can more fully appreciate his alien body. It isn't just his skin color and giant head. He isn't just thin. The shape of his body is actually subtly different from that of a human. His torso is elongated and the angles and proportions of his bones and muscles are strange, but not unattractive. Definitely _not_ unattractive. It looks absolutely right on him. She can't resist running her hands over his arms, appreciating the feel of his smooth, hairless skin and the hard muscles beneath. Though not bulky, they _are_ well-defined and she suspects he's stronger than he looks. She wonders if he really does work out. She moves her hands across his shoulders and over his chest, definitely feeling up his pectorals, which are small and high on his body. She circles her fingers over one of his dark blue nipples, making it stand up for her and causing him to sigh happily at her touch.

He thinks her warm hands feel amazing on his cool skin. It's rare for him to feel the touch of a human hand upon his skin at all. When he was a baby, he'd been held and cared for as any infant requires. But once he'd become capable of seeing to his own personal care, that had all changed. Physical contact is always discouraged in a prison, though compliance varies. However, the warden was particularly strict about it when it came to the young extraterrestrial. He thought it better to err on the side of caution rather than to find out after the fact that one of the inmates had been allowed to molest the boy. It was one policy that the inmates who helped raise him agreed on and went out of their way to enforce. As a consequence, for over three decades the only times a human has touched the villain's unclothed body were when the prison doctor tended to his injuries or the guards performed the cavity searches that are a routine part of his re-admittance into the prison. Megamind is so unaccustomed to any intimate touch that Roxanne's simple caress sends tingles across his bare skin and makes his head spin. He wants more.

A bright white bandage is still wrapped tightly around his ribcage. "How are your ribs?" she asks. For a human, cracked ribs are extremely painful and take a month or more to heal. It's only been two days, but she hasn't noticed him displaying any discomfort from the injury all day. He said he heals quickly, but he'd also said it should take a few days for the ribs to mend. Is he healed enough to do this tonight? She hopes so. Her fingers trace the edges of the wrapping, but she's reluctant to touch for fear of hurting him.

"They were still aching this morning, so I wrapped them again." He takes a deep breath, holds it while he considers the state of his injuries, then lets it out, "I think they're better now." He moves his hands to the edge of the binding and finds the tail end tucked tightly in at the top. He pulls it free and begins to unwrap it. Roxanne stops his hands and takes over, gently removing the elastic bandage herself, enjoying the excuse to touch him as she goes. After unwrapping the first few loops around his chest, the binding sags and pulls off easily. He runs his hands experimentally along his ribs, and she pulls her hands away, waiting as he tests the broken places. He pokes his ribs gently, then more firmly, wincing slightly. He smiles, satisfied with what he's found. "Nearly healed," he declares, "I'll be good as new sometime tomorrow."

"Are you well enough for me to...?" She finishes her sentence by stroking her hands gently along the newly exposed skin over his ribs. He twitches away from her and she pulls back, concerned that she'd caused him pain. He wasn't hurt, only surprised. Being bound since shortly after the battle, his chest is feeling particularly sensitive to touch and her hot little fingers, still so unfamiliar to him, had sent unexpected tingles across his cool blue skin.

"That tickles," he says. He captures her hands in his and returns them to his chest, pressing them flat against his skin. Leaning forward with his lips near her ear he whispers, "Don't stop," in a low voice, following the words with kisses and gentle nibbles along the shell of her ear.

Obediently, she strokes his skin, being careful to keep her touch firm so as not to tickle. She's rewarded with a pleased sigh and more nibbles down her neck. So close, his familiar scent fills her nose and she breathes him in. He smells so good. She traces the contours of his ribs and abdominal muscles, learning his shape with her fingers. The expected muscle groups continue their slightly strange arrangement on his belly, but nothing is unfamiliar or disturbing. He even has a shallow bellybutton, like any other man. Her fingers drift lower, to where the top of his under suit is folded down over the waist of his pants.

"Like what you see?" he drawls with a knowing look, fairly certain that she does but with a nagging doubt in the back of his head.

She smiles and answers, "Oh, yes. I definitely like. I'm glad you never tried kidnapping me without your shirt on. I might have accepted your evil queen offer," she teases, then she leans in to whisper low into his ear, "You are one _sexy_ spaceman, Megamind."

He blushes and looks away self-consciously. "Well, I'm no Metro Mahn."

"Thank God for that," she answers with a laugh, "I've seen Wayne with his shirt off." She shudders slightly, thinking back to several beach parties hosted by the Scotts which she'd attended. Though all the other women positively _swooned_ over the muscle-bound hero wearing nothing but white and gold swim trunks, Roxanne had been vaguely disgusted. "Men are not meant to be that bulked up. That's not my idea of sexy."

"You actually think I'm sexier than Metro Mahn?" he asks, astonished.

"Mmm-hmm," she agrees, sliding her arms around his back. She likes the feel of his muscles bunching and relaxing slightly in minute adjustment of his balance as she massages his back. Her fingers stray upwards to the nape of his neck to that delightfully weak spot of his. He moans at her touch, encouraging her to keep going. Leaning in, she nuzzles her nose into his neck just under his left ear and then gives it a solid lick. "Much sexier." He tastes good too.

The relatively unused, primitive part of his brain in charge of his sex drive has, over the last few minutes, quietly mounted a bloodless coup against his higher brain functions, partially by diverting increasing amounts of that blood to lower portions of his anatomy. He finds it increasingly difficult to concentrate on subjects not directly related to this new campaign of sexual conquest. Now fully in charge and spurred on by her admission, this ancient part of his brain issues its first decree, _less talk, more action_.

"My turn," he growls, sliding his hands to the top of the zipper in the back of her dress and pulling it down. "I want to see what _you_ look like," he murmurs. He pushes the loosened dress off her shoulders and she shrugs out of it, letting it fall down her body to her knees. She awkwardly shifts to her side to kick it off her legs to the floor. Megamind stares in fascination at the vision before him. His temptress is lying on her side, her position emphasizing the curves of her figure. She's wearing nothing but a pair of hip-hugging lace panties and a matching bra. Both pale blue. He wonders if she wore those just for him and likes the idea. Her eyes seem to beckon to him and he needs no further encouragement.

Without conscious thought, he pushes her flat on her back and crawls eagerly on top, nudging her knees apart so he can lay between her thighs and grind against her slowly. _Oh, that feels so good_. He leans a bit to the side to support his weight on one arm, freeing the other to explore. He spreads his blue fingers over her peach skin, watching himself stroke her and liking what he sees. He hadn't realized she would be so soft. She isn't fat, but her body is well-padded in all the right places. He runs his hands along her thighs, her hips, her soft belly and narrow waist. He'd always found her wide hips particularly sexy; not really surprising for a man whose people have such large heads. He remembers the women of his planet were similarly shaped.

To his eyes the only imperfections on her body are the scratches and bruises that idiot, Hal Stewart, had given her. He frowns over them. He knows they'll heal, but is angry that the man had dared to hurt her at all and feels sick to think of his own role in her ordeal. He knows very well that Titan would never have injured her if he had defused him before he'd become a danger. "I'm sorry he hurt you," he tells her as he traces a finger gently over her bruises.

"He could have been a hero like you wanted him to be. He chose to be a villain. That wasn't your fault," she answers.

He sighs, still tracing her bruises, seeking to sooth them with his touch, "It's _partially_ my fault," he insists, "If I'd listened to Minion and diffused him when I had the chance none of this would have happened."

She laughs gently, running her fingers absently up the arm he's stroking her with, "Yes, you really should pay more attention to what Minion tells you. I think you'd get into a lot less trouble if you did."

He smiles and shrugs, not admitting that she's right, but not denying it either. They both know she has a point.

"I think there's plenty of blame to go around. I did some pretty stupid stuff too," she admits.

"Like sneaking into a supervillain's lair and picking up a weird gun off the floor?" he asks, waggling his eyebrows at her as he smirks.

"Yeah, like that," she agrees, chagrinned. He's right. Even if he wasn't the most successful supervillain in the world, his weapons _are_ dangerous; sometimes more dangerous to the wielder than to the target. What if it had blown up in her face? Or killed Hal instead of giving him super powers? It would have been her fault for messing with stuff she didn't understand.

"Or going, unarmed, unarmored, and _by yourself_, into the city to confront a maniac with god-like powers?" he continues. Why did she have to be so brave? She could have been killed.

"Someone had to stop him and you'd given up," she argues, "I thought I could reason with him."

"I know," he sighs, not wanting to fight with her, "You scared me, Roxanne" he tells her seriously, "He almost killed you. I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you." His voice is barely above a whisper as he admits how important she is to him.

"Same here. When that spire skewered Minion's suit, I thought you were dying right in front of me. I don't want to ever feel that scared again." She looks away to hide the tears welling in her eyes at the memory of that fear. She runs her palms along his side instead, distracting herself with the feel of his skin.

He strokes his fingers along her cheek then brings his face to hers. She expects him to kiss her and is surprised when he doesn't. Instead he touches his forehead gently to hers and closes his eyes as he begins to nuzzle her with it. Starting at her forehead, he rubs across it and down to her temple before moving on to the other side. She's puzzled by the move. She'd never had a man do this to her, but it feels kind of nice. He moves one hand up behind her neck, stroking it and tangling his fingers in her short hair, still touching his forehead to hers.

His movements become more insistent and she realizes he wants her to respond. She'd been lying passively under him, trying to figure out what he was doing, and he wants her to participate. She imitates his motions, rubbing her head against his just as he'd been doing to her and he sighs in relief.

She'd told him to do what feels good, and to him, this seems comforting. He felt instinctually that this was the right response to her display of distress. He'd worried, when Roxanne took so long to join in, that he was doing something wrong. Maybe she didn't like it? Wasn't he doing it right? Feeling her return the gesture reassures him. He hums in pleasure as she nuzzles him.

"You like that?" she asks as she moves her forehead against his the way he'd demonstrated.

"Yes… it's… nice…" he answers distractedly, eyes still closed in pleasure.

"I've never had anyone do…" she searches for a word to describe what they're doing, but comes up blank, "this. Is it something your people did?"

He stops suddenly and pulls back from her, looking at her curiously. "Humans don't do this?" Was that why she'd hesitated?

"Rub foreheads? Not really. Not like you were doing," she answers.

He looks away and rolls off her to one side, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do something weird. I'll stop." He hopes he hasn't made her change her mind about him. "Just tell me what I should do." He smiles nervously, his eyes pleading. "Anything you want."

"It's okay. You didn't do anything wrong. It felt nice. It's just different," she assures him, but he doesn't look convinced. He doesn't want to be a weird space alien when he's with her. He wants to be a normal man for her. That's what she deserves. "Megamind," she sighs, reading his thoughts from his expressive face as clearly as if he's spoken them, "I don't want to try to turn you into a human." She rolls over onto him, straddling him and pinning him to the bed. She bends forward and touches her forehead to his, rubbing it against him as they were doing before. She feels him relax as her head touches his, her actions more convincing to him than her words. "I love you the way you are. If this feels good to you, then I want to do it."

"You just said 'I love you'," he observes quietly, hardly believing his ears.

"So I did," she pushes herself back up, sitting right atop his erection and rocking slowly against him for no other reason than it's there and feels good. She thinks back. Has she really not told him that she loves him yet? Not in so many words, perhaps, but it was certainly implied. She thinks he should have picked up on it if he'd been paying attention. She rubs her hands over his chest, enjoying the feel and the view. He really is incredibly handsome, as he'd always claimed.

"You love me?" he asks in astonishment. He's either the luckiest man in the world or has seriously misunderstood what she'd just said, which he suspects is quite likely given the low blood supply to his brain at the moment.

Roxanne wonders how it is that he can be such an undeniable genius in some ways, but an absolute idiot in others. Well, if he needs it stated plainly, she will give him what he needs. "Yes, you silly spaceman. I love you. I wouldn't be sitting on you in my underwear if I didn't." She laughs at him, but he doesn't take offense. How could he when she'd just told him the one thing he'd secretly wanted her to say from the moment he first kidnapped her?

He rolls them both so that he's on top again, lying full-length on top of her. He hugs her enthusiastically, nuzzling his forehead into the side of her head at the same time. "I love you too, Roxanne." He switches from forehead nuzzling to slow, tender kisses which soon turn into greedy, passionate ones full of moans, grunts, and other uncivilized noises of pleasure. Soon they're groping and humping against each other in complete abandon, driving each other towards the edge. Eventually, not wanting to ejaculate in his pants, Megamind lifts himself off of her, panting as he regains his control. She isn't helping as she pushes herself up after him to nip insistently at his lips, trying to get him to lower himself back onto her. Once he can string a coherent sentence together again he says, "I think we have too many clothes on."

"I think you're right," she agrees. She pushes him gently off of her with one bare foot and turns onto her side. She bends one arm back behind her back to unhook her bra. She slides the straps down her arms and tosses it onto the floor. Then she shimmies out of her panties, making her newly-freed breasts jiggle in a way that makes Megamind forget to breathe. She sends the panties flying in the same direction as the bra. Then she smiles up at her stunned villain, whose eyes are bugging out of his head taking in the sight of her so suddenly and casually naked in front of him. He swallows noisily and remembers to breathe.

"Your turn," she tells him, knowing full well the effect she's having on him.

It takes him a few breaths before her statement works its way into his foggy brain. Once it does, he eagerly sits back on his heels and unfastens his belt and fly. He pushes both the pants and under suit down to his knees, shifts to sitting, and frees his legs and kick his socks off as well. That done, he smiles a cocky grin at Roxanne. His eyes make an effort to hold her gaze, but keep getting drawn toward her breasts and the dark triangle of hair at her crotch. He vaguely wonders if he's drooling.

She barely notices as her own eyes are too busy staring at his penis which, to her relief and fascination, seems about the same as any other she'd seen. Given his height and narrow frame, she'd half-expected him to be smaller than normal, but is relieved to find he's a good size. Not huge, but big enough to do the job. It's blue, as she expected, with its pink head half concealed within his foreskin, a bead of cum glistening on the tip. She's somewhat surprised that he's uncircumcised. Or, rather, not surprised that he hadn't been clipped, but somehow surprised that a space alien would have foreskin in the first place. Then she chides herself for being silly. If he's that close to human in the rest of his body, then why wouldn't he have foreskin? She wants to touch it. She wants to slide back his sheath and spread that cum across his pink head. She wants to lick it, but thinks that would probably be too much for him right now. She thinks they should probably stick to the basics this time. She can introduce him to more interesting techniques later.

He crawls next to her, settling on his side and staring at her chest. Her breasts look impossibly soft except for the nipples, which are hard nubs begging to be sucked. He wants to touch them. He glances up to meet her eyes, seeking permission, before reaching out and cupping the closest one in his hand. He kneads it gently, making her sigh in approval as she watches him explore a breast for the first time. He expects it to be soft, but is surprised by the slightly lumpy texture underneath. It feels heavy in his hand and he squeezes it carefully, grinning as he thinks, _it's squishy_.

He brushes a thumb over the hardened nipple, making Roxanne sigh a bit louder. He tries again, a bit more solidly and she arches her back, pressing the soft globe of flesh into his hand. He plays with her like that for awhile, petting and squeezing one breast, and then the other. She enjoys his touch and is content to wait for him to satisfy his curiosity about her boobs before moving on to the main event. Then he decides to lick her.

She'd closed her eyes as he played with her, so the warm wetness of his tongue grazing across the sensitive skin takes her by surprise. She moans and squirms at his touch. Encouraged by her response, he does it again, this time while rolling the nipple of the other breast between his fingers. He gets a louder response this time and she reaches for her own crotch, stroking something hidden from his view. He doesn't notice until the sixth or seventh moan that she's rocking into her own hand as he works on her breasts, her breathing coming faster. Suddenly jealous of those fingers, he slides his body over hers and positions himself between her legs. His cock is literally dripping and she reaches down to grip it in one hand, just like she'd wanted to before. She slides his skin back to completely bare his head, rubbing her thumb in circles at his tip.

Afraid her talented fingers will finish him before he even gets a chance to penetrate her, he growls and brushes her hands away. He _aches_ to be inside her and before he knows what he's doing he's pushing in, the tight ring of her entrance stretching around him.

Oh, evil gods, he's inside her. It's unbelievable how good, how _perfect_, that feels! She's so tight. Is she supposed to be that tight? Dark Lord, that feels good. She's so hot inside. And slick. Her hands are at his waist, pulling at him, encouraging him to keep going. So, he does, sliding slowly in all the way, surprised that the tight passage stretches to fit him.

"You feel _so good_, Megamind," she purrs.

He pulls out a bit and then back in, his instincts guiding his movements toward the necessary rhythm.

"Yes," she encourages, "Just like that." She was almost ready to come before, so it only takes a few thrusts to bring her back to where she was. Unfortunately, this is his first time and he can't hold out any longer.

"Nungh, Ah, Rox—anne. Oh, that's so goo-ood. Unnnff. Uuhhhn" He mumbles and moans, thrusting harder and deeper with each syllable until the last, when he just holds himself deep inside her and shudders, his seed gushing into her and waves of pleasure washing through his body. Then he pulls partially out and back in, holding it, and shuddering again. After a few more strokes, he's finished. "Ahhh," he sighs, collapsing on top of her, completely spent. "That… was… amazing."

She chuckles and kisses his cheek. He props himself up with an elbow on either side of her to return her kisses. She pushes her pelvis against him, grinding her clit into him and forcing his softening member to push into her again. He responds with his hips, but his cock is softening. She clenches her muscles around him, but after a few pushes he slips out despite her grip. She sighs, slightly disappointed that she didn't come herself, but it's what she'd expected. She's sure he'll do better next time.

He hears her disappointment and realizes that, although it had been incredible for him, she had not experienced an orgasm. "Oh, no," he groans, "I'm sorry, Roxanne. You didn't... I mean I didn't..."

She silences him with a kiss, "It's okay, Megamind. It was a test run, remember? I think you did pretty well for a first try."

"But I wanted to please you," he argues.

"You did," she answers honestly, "You felt _so_ good."

He doesn't entirely believe her, "But you didn't finish."

"Then you'll have to do better next time," she answers matter-of-factly.

"Next time? Of course! Miss Ritchi, next time," he pauses dramatically, "I will make you _scream_."

"Mmmm," she answers with good humor and a stifled yawn, "We'll see, lover boy." She pulls the blankets out from under them and pulls them up around them before snuggling, still naked, into his side. Warm and content from his release, he relaxes against her, his cheek pressed against the crown of her head, one hand resting on a bare breast, and his eyes closed in pleasure.

They lay like that for ten minutes or so before he rouses from his post-sex stupor, beginning to respond under her exploring hand. It doesn't take much encouragement before he's hard again and ready for round two. They go slowly; kissing, touching, and rubbing foreheads as they savor the build-up and concentrate on learning what the other likes. This time when he slides inside her, he isn't quite so overwhelmed and manages to last long enough to give her the orgasm she'd missed last time. Once he'd shuddered through his release he starts to laugh.

"What?" she asks. She's lying under him with a satisfied smile on her face, her eyes half closed in contentment. She likes to hear him laugh like that.

"I did it. I finally did it! I made you scream," he crows, proud of his accomplishment.

"I'm not sure if that was a scream or a moan," she says, making it clear that she thinks it was probably the later.

"Oh, it was definitely more than a moan, Miss Ritchi," he argues, unwilling to concede the point. He shifts off of her and curls against her side instead, pulling the covers over them both again.

She knows he's playing. He enjoys bantering with her and that's hardly going to change now that they're lovers. She plays along. "Hmm…" She pretends to consider his claim. "Maybe a cry or a yell. But a scream?" She shakes her head. "I don't scream. You ought to know that by now." She wriggles up against his lean body, thinking that there's nowhere in the world she'd rather be right now.

"I beg to differ. In fact, you screamed_ my name_," he whispers low into her ear.

She thinks back, had she called his name? She might have. "Okay, sweetie. If that's what you want to believe," she concedes agreeably. Her heart isn't in the argument. She just wants to cuddle up and doze with her new lover. And she knows giving in that easily will drive him nuts. He hates it when she _lets_ him win.

"It's what happened," he insists.

"Okay," she agrees, her eyes slipping closed as she relaxes in her arms.

"Insufferable woman," he grumbles.

"Megamind?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

She can tell he's smiling, even with her eyes closed, "I love you too." He kisses her and they settle down to nap.

Just as she's drifting off, a worrisome thought occurs to her. So worrisome that it wakes her completely. "Megamind?"

"Yes, my dear?" he answers sleepily.

"How human are you?"

"Not at all. I thought we established that already. I'm an alien from a planet far, far away," he answers amiably.

"Okay, Spaceman," she can't help giggling, "But how _close_ are you to human?"

"Didn't you just see for yourself?" he asks, "I thought you got a pretty good look."

"That's not what I meant." She wonders if he's being deliberately obtuse.

"Roxanne," he sighs, giving up on the idea of drifting off to sleep, "I'm really not sure where you're going with this. What are you asking?"

She blows a bang out of her eyes and starts again. More direct this time. "Were we just now really, really stupid for not using a condom?"

"Oh, I get it. No. You won't end up preeg-nahnt by accident. I'm not genetically compatible with humans."

She sighs in relief, "Okay, that's good."

"I feel vaguely insulted," he objects.

"No, that's not what I meant," she assures him, unsure if he's serious or not. "I'm just not ready to have kids."

He smiles. He was only teasing her. Fatherhood is the last thing he wants to deal with. Being Overlord to an entire city is enough trouble.

"Still," she continues after a moment's thought, "that's kind of sad. You really _are_ going to be the last of your kind." She frowns at him in sympathy, thinking that it's a pity that there won't ever be any more like him.

"Probably."

"Probably? But you just said—"

"I said you wouldn't end up preeg-naunt by _accident_. I didn't say it wasn't possible at all."

"But you said we were genetically incompatible."

"You think that could stop me? I'm the most advanced genetic engineer on the planet!" he brags "I can do things with genes that human scientists have only dreamed of." He hadn't really thought of it before, but now that he has, it seems fairly simple. He can picture which sections would need recoding and which would fit seamlessly together. A hybrid would not be that difficult to conceive in the lab. "Our two genomes are not really _that_ different. If we ever decide we want children, it won't be a problem."

"Wow. That's…good to know." She's not sure how she feels about the idea of him genetically engineering their children. It seems vaguely sinister, but she isn't sure why. Still, she might not see it that way if they ever decide they _want_ children. She settles back against her pillow, cuddling into his side. She wonders what he looked like as a baby.

"Mmmm, this is nice," he tells her.

"Yes, it is," she agrees.

"I don't see why anyone ever leaves the bedroom once they find a mate," he muses.

"Oh, yes. We can just live in here from now on," she suggests sarcastically.

"Yes, exactly! The brainbots can bring us snacks," he suggests with a smile.

She laughs at him outright. "That's crazy. And unless you have a toilet hidden in here somewhere, we'll have to leave eventually." There's no bathroom attached to the room.

"Oh, fine, ruin my fantasy," he grouses.

She giggles and snuggles into him. "It was a nice fantasy, but we'd get bored eventually."

"I could never get bored with this." He leans in and begins to kiss her slowly, licking into her mouth and nipping at her lips. She responds eagerly and soon they're both panting as they grope and kiss and rub up against each other, preparing to join once more. She opens her legs for him and he finds her entrance, but doesn't take her yet. Instead he teases her, pushing against her but not entering, wanting to make her beg for it first. Just as she starts to whimper and squirm in frustration, there's a knock at the door, followed by a very hesitant, "Sir?"

Both lovers groan, Megamind growling, "Not now, Minion!"

"Sir, I am so very, very sorry to disturb you, but we have a situation that needs your attention," the fish tells him, unfortunately knowing _exactly_ what he's interrupting.

"Can't it wait five—"

"Ten," corrects Roxanne.

"Ten minutes?" he asks. Surely nothing is so important it can't wait that long. "We're right in the middle here."

"Um, no sir. It _really_ can't."

"Oh, for the love of—Minion, I swear: if this isn't important, I will kill you."

"Yes, sir."

Megamind pulls himself reluctantly away from Roxanne and stalks to the door. Without bothering to dress, he wrenches the door open. Behind him, Roxanne hurriedly pulls the sheet up to cover herself. Megamind glares at his friend. "What is it?" he hisses.

The fish gapes at the sight of his master standing there stark naked and… um… aroused? No wonder he was so angry at being interrupted. The fish clears his throat and glances away, trying to find somewhere to look that isn't occupied by angry naked people. "Well, sir. We're losing brainbots downtown and someone's hijacked the airwaves to call you out. I think the Hero's Consortium has finally decided to respond to Metro Man's _death_."

"_Now_, they respond? _Now?_ Where were they the last three weeks? Evil Gods! If they'd just sent someone in immediately that whole fiasco with Titan could have been avoided!"

"Good question sir, and the best answer would be found by coming in here and talking to them. I have the comm. set up and waiting for you now."

"Argh… Fine. Roxanne, I'm sorry—"

"It's fine. Go. Be the Overlord. I'll get dressed and be in there in a few minutes."

He smiles at her wistfully, "I love you, my dear."

"Yeah, I know. Shoo. You have a job to do."

He nods and turns to walk through the doorway. As the door clicks closed behind him, she faintly hears him call out, "Somebody, get me some clothes!"

It sounds like this is going to be a long night, and not in the way they had hoped.

**I hoped you liked it. I tried to balance him between nervous virgin and confident, horny lover. I hope I got it. Review please. **


	12. The Heroes' Consortium

**No smut what-so-ever in this chapter. Sorry it took so long to post. I'm slow. Sorry. :(**

Strongman sits drumming his fingers on the white and silver control console as he watches a black screen with a stylized M rotating at its center. Metallica's _Holier than Thou_ plays over the speakers. The impressively muscled, spandex-clad man wonders if the song is meant as a message or if the system is just cycling through random songs in the villain's collection. He doesn't like heavy rock music. So much of it is just aggressive, loud noise. But at least it isn't rap. He's a country kind of guy, himself. Tim McGraw, Garth Brooks, George Strait; those are the singers he enjoys. He doesn't turn the sound down, however. He'd rather not be caught off-guard and have to scramble to turn it back up when the villain he's waiting for appears on the screen.

He'd spoken to the villain's minion a few minutes before. The talking fish had been quite polite when answering the hero's challenge. It'd asked the man to please stop interrupting the city's television broadcasts and then enquired as to the man's identity and under whose authority he was operating. It had made a valiant attempt to get the hero to set up an appointment for the morning, but Strongman had been adamant that he wanted to get this over with now. He'd thought that the fish looked particularly uncomfortable with that answer, but it'd merely promised that its boss would be on-screen momentarily. Then it had put the hero on hold.

The music changes to another heavy metal number; one Strongman doesn't recognize. He's about to ask his sidekick what the deal is with the henchfish when the screen fades to an image of a rather annoyed-looking blue-skinned man with a huge, bald head: Megamind.

"Good evening, Protector," the villain greets. The words are polite, but the tone is not. The villain is clearly less than happy about having to speak with the hero just now. He's leaning back in a black leather chair, arms crossed over his chest, and his left ankle resting on his right knee. He wears a black supersuit with a blue lightning bolt up the front. His cape has a spiked mantle and a high, Dracula-like collar. One of his little flying robots hovers over one shoulder. "Minion tells me you're with the Heroes' Consortium. Why are you in my city?"

"I'm here to avenge the murder of Metro Man and to reestablish protection of the city by a certified hero team," Strongman answers. He always finds it's best to keep things as straight-forward as possible. He doesn't like to play games with villains.

Megamind raises one eyebrow, which slides surprisingly high on his oversized forehead. "Metro Mahn was not _murdered_ and the city is under _my_ protection. The Heroes' Consortium is not needed here."

Strongman expected the villain to resist him, but he's surprised that he doesn't own up to the murder of his rival. After all, wasn't it his great victory? Shouldn't the criminal be proud of his accomplishment? Strongman has seen the video and read the reports. There is no doubt that Metro Man was murdered. It certainly wasn't self-defense. What game does this villain think he's playing? "You're denying that you murdered Metro Man? Who do you think you're fooling? You gave the order, your minion fired the weapon, and you confessed to the crime. It's too late to deny it now. You broadcast it to the entire city!"

"Video can be misleading, Protector," he answers calmly.

Okay, technically true. Video can be altered easily, but, "It was a live broadcast! I saw the explosion! I saw the skeleton! Metro Man is _dead_ because of you!" the hero accuses.

"Wayne Scott isn't dead," he repeats, "How do you kill an _invulnerable_ man? By definition, it can't be done. Trust me, I've tried it for years." He smirks into the camera.

Well, obviously, Metro Man hadn't actually been invulnerable, had he? "Apparently, you trap him under a _copper dome_ and blast him with a _death ray_!" Strongman shouts.

The villain has the gall to laugh at that! And not a villainous, evil _Mwahaha_, either. He seems genuinely amused. "Protector, Wayne Scott doesn't have a weakness to _copper_. That's just…" the man actually giggles and shakes his head a few times before continuing. "Don't feel bad, though. He had me going, too. Me! With this brain," he points to his head, "and I fell for it!" He shakes his head again. "Metro Mahn used _my own_ evil scheme as a cover to quit his job." He leans forward toward the camera, his giant head filling most of the screen, "He's hiding out in his secret Metro-cave outside of town. There is nothing for you to avenge."

How _dare_ the villain slander Metro Man's good name! Especially now that he can no longer defend himself. "Metro Man was a friend of mine," Strongman growls. "There is no way he would have just _given_ you his city."

Megamind smiles, showing just a few too many teeth to be entirely friendly, "That's _exactly_ what he did." His smile slips to a sneer of contempt. "He got tired of playing our little game and so he _let me win_."

"Prove it." Strongman challenges, a vein visibly throbbing at his temple.

The villain smirks, "I don't have to. By law, I am innocent until proven guilty. The burden of proof is on the state."

"Which, _conveniently_, can't put you on trial while you're still in control of the city!"

"I don't make the rules, Protector." His smile widens and he leans back again. "Oh wait, yes I do." The villain glances across the room, chuckling as he makes certain someone off-screen appreciates his little joke. His attention snaps back to the hero. "Actually, what I want to know is if you're really here to serve the city's interest, or just to reestablish a relationship with Metrocity as a _paying client_. After all, with Metro Mahn gone, nobody here is paying his membership premium. That has to have an effect on the Consortium's bottom line. You wouldn't want to start a new billing cycle without having the city under contract."

How dare that infuriating, smug little man sit there and accuse the Consortium of only being in it for the money! They're a _hero's_ group. Who does he think they are? The Alliance of Evil? Just wait until he faces the villain in person, he'll toss that murdering smurf out of the city with his bare hands! Strongman's temper builds to dangerous levels, nearing the point that will trigger the transformation that he is named for. Since that would not be productive at this time, his sidekick unobtrusively lays a hand on the angry man's trembling shoulder and reverses his empathic powers to project a feeling of calm to the human juggernaut. Strongman's emotions return to safe levels and his sidekick returns his attention to the monitoring equipment.

On the screen, Strongman sees a woman step barely into the shot at the edge of the screen behind Megamind. Megamind turns his chair to face her and motions her backwards. She hurriedly steps back out of the frame. "Who's she?" he asks as the villain turns back, "You file doesn't indicate you have a female accomplice." Are their records on this villain incomplete?

Megamind frowns in annoyance, but hides the expression quickly. "Don't worry about her. She's not an accomplice."

Why would a woman be in the villain's headquarters if she wasn't part of his nefarious team? And why was her face familiar? He snatches a folder from a shelf and flips hurriedly through it, smiling triumphantly as he finds what he was looking for. "Of course! The reporter. Roxanne Ritchi. Metro Man's girlfriend. What is _she_ doing in your headquarters, Megamind?" The wheels turn in the hero's head, "Great Scott! She was in on it the whole time, wasn't she? How long has she been working with you?" His eyes widen, "She told him that you were in the abandoned observatory! The little traitor! Oh! I will see that she rots in prison right alongside you!"

Strongman hears a voice faintly in the background. He thinks she says, "Told you so."

The blue man rolls his eyes, "Roxanne, come here. Tell the nice protector that you're not a criminal."

The brunette returns to the shot and perches on the arm of Megamind's chair. He shifts slightly towards her, then seems to catch himself and leans away again. The woman doesn't give any indication of having noticed and sits primly beside him, her posture straight and face set in a professionally pleasant expression, "Hello, Protector," she greets the image on the screen, "He's right. The occasional parking ticket is the extent of my criminal career. I never helped Megamind with his evil schemes except when he tricked me into it. I was always on Wayne's side. He was a good friend of mine."

"Was! So, you admit that he's dead?"

"No, I just admit that, after what he pulled, I don't consider him much of a friend anymore and I'm really not on his side," she answers calmly with the composure of a seasoned news reporter.

"Yes, I imagine helping to _murder_ him would put a crimp in your relationship," the hero snarls through gritted teeth.

"He's not dead, and I don't think you understand what he did." Her calm gives way to what he'd call righteous anger if he didn't already know, just from her presence in the villain's headquarters, that she was on the side of evil. "That so-called _hero_ _framed_ Megamind for murder, _abandoned_ his post, and _refused_ to help when we needed him to fight Titan!" The woman jabs a finger into the air beside her, pointing into the distance, "He's sitting in that underground fortress of his _right_ now, _ignoring_ his responsibilities while _we're_ stuck here cleaning up _his_ mess!" She crosses her arms over her chest and glares into the screen at the hero. "And to top it all off, he apparently didn't bother to inform his _back-up_ that he was still alive either! We have enough to deal with right now without vigilantes with _no clue_ what's going on sticking their nose into things. Where the _hell_ were you three weeks ago when we could have actually used you? Or three days ago when Titan was tearing up the city? Were you just waiting until everything was _safe_ before you showed up?"

How did she do that? She turned this whole conversation around and turned _him_ into the bad guy! And a cowardly bad guy at that! He thinks he prefers Megamind's accusation of profit-mongering. "Now, wait just a minute. _He's_ the criminal here. I'm not breaking any laws."

"Oh, really?" Megamind picks up the argument, "Tell me, was it you who's been picking off the brainbot safety patrols for the last hour?"

"Of course," Strongman's voice slips naturally into the tone and cadence of a hero. _"_Each one I bring down is one less of your little eyes and ears helping to subjugate this fair city._"_

"Are you aware that those cyborgs are living, thinking creatures who are only trying to do their jobs? Jobs that are helping maintain the peace and safety of the city, I might add. They don't need you taking pot-shots at them. They've been through enough in the last few days." The robot hovering next to him turns its glowing red eye towards its master and then back to the screen.

Strongman has the disturbing realization that the thing is watching him and is actually aware of what is being discussed. He pushes back a feeling of guilt over the ones he'd destroyed. So what if they were alive? It's not like they were human. Besides, they wereevil.

When the hero doesn't respond, Megamind continues, "You _certainly_ were not authorized to interrupt the citizen's television viewing to get my attention. Hijacking the airwaves is against the law." he smirks, "I should know, I've done it often enough. But, hey, so long as your law-breaking was done to uphold the law, I suppose it's justified."

"Well, isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?"

"Yes, but in this case the pot is supposed to be black and the kettle isn't." He types something into the keyboard in front of him, "According to the police, you also did not contact them regarding your intent to operate as a protector within their jurisdiction, as you should have."

"If I'd done that, they might have warned you I was here."

"Don't be ridiculous, they'd have cheered you on and pointed you toward the part of town they think I'm operating from." He taps a few more keys, "I'm certain there's some sort of fine involved…" Tap, tap, tap. "Ah, yes. There it is. But if you leave now, I'd be willing to let you off with a warning."

"I have no intention of leaving the city in your evil hands!"

"Protector," Roxanne interrupts, "You don't understand. Did you happen to catch Megamind's speech yesterday?"

"That farce? Oh yes, I watched it. Benevolent Overlord, indeed! Are the citizens actually falling for that? Next thing he'll announce that he's going to be the city's Protector," he predicts sarcastically.

The villain and the reporter exchange glances.

"Protector," the villain answers seriously, "Metrocity is mine now. Metro Mahn as much as handed it to me with his blessing." Strongman clenches his jaw hearing the villain make that claim. "What sort of Overlord would I be if I didn't protect my city? And I don't mean simply oppressing rebellion to keep myself in power. Emergency services, including the police, are already running smoothly again. My brainbot patrols have helped the police bring crime down to below what it was when Metro Mahn was Protector. Metrocity is safe because of me."

"Nothing the city couldn't do without you."

"You'd think that, wouldn't you? But I tried to quit. I walked right back to prison and let them lock me up. Do you know what happened?" He gestures expansively and throws himself backward in his chair, "Titan took Miss Ritchi hostage and called me out. And did Metrocity's finest lift a finger to save her or any of the other citizens that died during his reign of terror? No! Did a Protector show up stop him? No! I had to do it _myself_," he nearly spat in disgust. "This whole city would have let her die! They _did_ let 14 innocent citizens die." He leans forward toward the camera to ask, "Do you _honestly_ think they'd do any better against some other villain? No. It's clear that if I want this city protected, I'm going to have to do it myself."

"Oh, well today's your lucky day, then" the hero assures him sarcastically, "We're here now, so you can go back to prison secure in the knowledge that we're on the job."

"Yes, I'll just hand my city over to a protection team who knows nothing about the city and couldn't be bothered to show up for three weeks after a crisis," he answers, just as sarcastically as the hero.

"This wasn't my city then."

"No, it was Metro Mahn's, but the Consortium was backing him. I read his contract. The Consortium was obligated to send a team within 72 hours of any crisis that left the city without protection. Where were you?"

The sidekick, SilverPsychic, answers the villain from behind his partner's back, "We didn't have anyone available until now. June's always a bad month for staffing."

"What?" gasps the reporter and the villain at the same time, both caught off-guard by that response.

Strongman sighs and runs a hand down his face from forehead to chin. "Silver…" he groans.

"Wait, are you saying that the Heroes' Consortium didn't send anyone because they were _short-staffed_?" Roxanne asks.

"Don't answer that," barks Strongman, interrupting his sidekick before he can speak, "They're the villains! They'll learn all our secrets!"

"She's not a villain, she's a reporter," comments Megamind, then, almost to himself, he mumbles, "Which is actually worse."

She smiles brightly. "So, the Consortium is having staffing problems?" she asks in her most sympathetic voice.

"Not really. It's a scheduling issue," the grey-haired sidekick explains calmly, "Everyone wants to take time off in the summer, but crime actually rises in the summer months. Most of our planning staff is clairvoyant, so we can get by with operating on a very narrow margin, even this time of year. But _no one_ predicted Metro Man's death. The oracles insist that he wasn't fated to die for decades. They're still trying to track down the anomaly. You weren't supposed to kill him yet, Megamind. Do you know what that did to our actuaries?"

"Absolutely nothing," Megamind insists, "because he's not dead." As usual, the hero team ignores the claim.

"So, you couldn't schedule anyone to cover for him?" Roxanne asks, still with a professional smile on her face.

"Not without pulling someone back from their summer vacation," SilverPsychic answers.

Megamind and Roxanne both blink. Megamind, with his giant brain, recovers first, "So, you're saying Metrocity's welfare is of less importance than your members' _trips to Disney World_?"

"There are rules regarding vacation. As long as a member's time off has been scheduled at least six weeks in advance, the Consortium can't cancel it without their consent," explains SilverPsychic, "Everyone had their leave approved on time. There was no one to pull back."

"And no one volunteered to help?" Roxanne asks. Clearly, she expects better from heroes.

SilverPsychic shrugs, "If we sacrificed our vacation every time the world was in danger, we'd never get a day off."

"Roxanne, do you remember what I said about unions and evil the other day?" Megamind asks casually.

"Yes," she answers suspiciously.

"I take it back," he grins evilly, "All heroes should be union members. It would make everything so much easier for the villains."

Strongman is holding his head in his hands; his head throbbing. The worst part is that he actually _agrees_ with the villain. He told his superiors that they needed to take care of Metro City sooner rather than later, but had they listened? No. And now he's the one that looks incompetent because of it.

"Right then." Megamind straightens in his chair and clears his throat. "Protector, had you shown up when you were supposed to, I would have been glad to have engaged you in glorious battle, villain vs. hero. But that time has passed. Now I have a city to run and no time to bother with you. The Consortium chose to breach its contract with Metrocity when it didn't meet it's obligation to send help in a timely manner. That means that your authorization to operate as protectors within my city has expired. Even if it hadn't, I will _not_ turn _my_ city over to a team that couldn't be bothered to get off their backsides and do their job for _three weeks_! Protector, if you insist on continuing to operate as unlawful vigilantes within my city, I will consider you hostile villains and personally escort you out."

"Brave words for someone who claims to have never even defeated his rival," Strongman drawls, unimpressed.

"Protector," the blue man sneers, "You are no Metro Mahn. Minion: fire."

Strongman becomes almost immediately aware of the mobile command truck he is sitting in beginning to heat up. He glanced at his sidekick, whose eyes are as wide as saucers. They scramble out the door to stand on the pavement, watching as a beam from the sky slowly melts their transportation.

0o0o0o0o0oo0o

Back at the lair…

"I can't believe you shot him with the death ray," Roxanne gasps.

"I don't see why. That's what I built it for," No longer needing to appear professionally detached, he pulls her into his lap and nuzzles his forehead against hers happily. Across the room, Minion rolls his eyes and turns his attention back to the death ray controls, making certain that the satellite has successfully shut down again. "Besides," the blue man continues, "I didn't shoot him. Just his van. I'm just glad I kept him talking long enough for Minion to get a lock on his location and get the death ray warmed up."

"But you could have killed him!" she objects.

"Not really. It was only set to barbeque. Minion didn't turn it up until everyone was out. It was a warning shot."

"You know, he's not going to let that go."

"I know, but at least it gives me time to get ready." He sighs and pushes her out of his lap before standing himself. " Spe-iderbot! Get down here!"

A low-pitched _bowg_ answers and a six-legged robot skitters out of the rafters and toward its master, scattering brainbots on the way. Megamind smiles at the bot and reaches out to hug the friendly creature with far too many red eyes. "What do you say, Spe-iderbot? Want to go chase a nasty hero out of our city?"

_Bowg! _It answers happily, squirming in excitement.

"All right, then," he climbs up into the cockpit and pulls the padded safety harness down over his chest. A brainbot flies into the room and passes Megamind his dehydration gun, which the man immediately straps on. Then he glances down at Roxanne and he hesitates. "My dear… I…"

"You need to do this. I understand." She reaches up to grip the tips of his fingers, all she can reach from the ground, and gives them a squeeze, "I'll be here when you get back. Be careful."

He opens his mouth to say more, but instead just nods, "Minion, I need you in the invisible car as backup," he calls, turning his attention to the preparations for battle.

"Yes sir."

After a surprisingly brief amount of time all his creatures have their assignments and most of them file out of the lair in an excited swarm. Megamind glances regretfully back at Roxanne before following his robot horde out into the streets of Metrocity to face the invading heroes. Roxanne is left behind in the dark lair with only a few brainbots for company. She wraps her arms around herself for comfort and tries not to worry. Even though she'd well aware of just how formidable he really is, she also knows the heroes he faces are dangerous. If something goes wrong... But she refuses to think about that. Instead she walks over to the desk that holds her laptop and distracts herself with work.

0o0o0o0o0o0oo

At 2am, Wayne Scott awakes to a pounding on his door. He grumbles and rolls out of bed to see who it is. There are only two people it's likely to be, but he can't imagine why either one would be here _now_. He x-rays through the door to find Megamind waiting for him. The former hero opens the door. "What do you want?" he asks grouchily.

Megamind tosses two glowing blue cubes to his former rival, who catches them automatically. "Those are heroes from the Consortium. Rehydrate them, tell them the truth, and then send them home. Make sure they believe you." With that, Megamind turns his back on the man and stalks away, leaving the singer formerly known as Metro Man stunned.

0o0o0o0o0o0o

It's two-thirty before he arrives at the lair, but Roxanne is true to her word. She's still here. Fast asleep in his bed with one arm draped over a brainbot. He can't help grinning at the sight of her. The bot under her arm twitches it's eyestalk toward its master and squirms out from her hold. It bowgs in greeting, but Megamind shushes it, not wanting to disturb her sleep. His brainbots change him into his pajamas and then he slides under the sheets next to her. She sighs and snuggles closer to him, but doesn't wake. As he falls asleep with his lover curled against his side, he thinks that he's the luckiest man in the world.

**Please review and let me know what you think. **


	13. The Next Day

Roxanne awakes curled against Megamind's side, her head resting on his shoulder. She's relieved to have him back with her safe and sound. She wonders when he got in last night. She knows it was after she fell asleep, which must have been at least midnight.

He's wearing soft flannel pajamas and she thinks it makes him warm and cuddly. She opens her sleepy eyes and blinks them against the light of the morning sun that's streaming in through the high windows on the far side of the room. She can't help laughing quietly when she notices the pattern printed on his shirt. It's covered in little hazard signs. According to the warning symbols he's a poisonous, radioactive, flammable, high-voltage biohazard. Obviously a very dangerous man.

She grins and snuggles back into his side. He stirs enough to pull her tighter against him and give a happy little sigh, but doesn't wake. Her heart melts. To think this is one of the most dangerous men in the world, _the_ most-wanted criminal in the city. Asleep in her arms. She feels powerful and giddy and too excited to go back to sleep. She pulls back from him enough to scoot upward so that their lips are close enough to touch.

He wakes to the pleasant feeling of a gentle kiss on his lips. He reflects that this is, quite possibly, the best way to wake up that he could ever imagine. He kisses her back, pulling her close and finding a certain part of his body already fully awake and ready for action. She notices also and throws a leg over him, obviously thinking along the same lines. Definitely the best way to wake up. Ever.

* * *

><p>Wayne Scott sits on his couch staring at his coffee table where two glowing blue cubes sit, somehow managing to stare accusingly at him despite being inanimate objects. He sips from his coffee as he contemplates the unpleasant task they represent. He predicts that this will be a lousy morning.<p>

* * *

><p>Half an hour later, the new lovers emerge from the bedroom, dressed and starving. They take turns with the bathroom and meet in the evil lair's make-shift kitchen where Minion has thoughtfully set out doughnuts and coffee for two, just as he had the other morning. Though the doughnuts and steaming coffee testify to the fish's presence, he's nowhere to be seen. He's probably making himself scarce to give the lovebirds some privacy. They appreciate the gesture.<p>

"Do you always have doughnuts for breakfast?" she asks as he seats himself and eagerly selects one for his plate.

He licks the glaze from his fingers before answering, "When I'm out of prison, yes."

"Isn't that kind of unhealthy?" She sits in the chair next to his. "Or do you have some weird metabolism where sugar is actually good for you?"

He shrugs and grins sheepishly at her, "Sort of."

"Seriously?"

He explains, "The brain uses a lot of carbohydrate energy and my brain's bigger than a human's. So, I need to consume more sugars than a human." He tears several packets of sugar (Roxanne purposely doesn't count how many) into his coffee and stirs it, "Besides, after enduring prison breakfasts for years, I think I deserve something sweet whenever I'm out."

She quirks an eyebrow at him, "You sound like you expect to go back."

He sighs, resigned to the fate that has followed him his entire life. "I think your plan should work, but let's be realistic. I always end up back behind bars eventually." He smiles at the end, as if it doesn't really bother him, but it bothers her.

She reaches out and squeezes his blue hand in hers, "Not this time," she answers, "Not ever again."

He squeezes her hand back. "Well, let's hope those lawyers you found are good." He sips his coffee. "If they manage to spring me legally, they should get some sort of award. A Nobel Prize for lawyering."

"I'm not sure that _lawyer_ can be used as a verb," she giggles.

His finger points toward the ceiling as he declares, "I'll use nouns as verbs whenever I like, Miss Ritchi. Mere grammar _rules_ cannot stop The Master of All Villainy!" His green eyes twinkle.

She shakes her head silently and they both grin at each other, enjoying the silliness of the moment. "Yes, I'm sure you terrify schoolteachers and English majors everywhere." She opens her own coffee and puts in a more reasonable amount of sugar. "Anyway, I think the fee they'll charge you for their _lawyering_ will more than compensate them." She pauses, considering how to ask the question in her mind. "I haven't actually asked. You _do_ have money, right? They're probably the most expensive lawyers in town. You're not going to have to rob a bank to pay them, are you?"

"Of course I have money. How do you think I funded my villainous career?"

"With all those evil schemes every other week, I always figured you were robbing _somebody_ blind to pay for it. But I never tracked it down."

"What, the nosy reporter never looked into my finances?" he teases, "I'm surprised."

"Well, I'm not the police or the FBI," she defends herself. "I'm just a TV news reporter. I don't have the access or training to track down your bank accounts."

"The police and feds don't either. Otherwise my assets would have been frozen years ago," he brags, "I'm still surprised you didn't at least try."

She selects a doughnut, resolving to get back to her exercise routine as soon as things in her life settle down a bit. Which, she reflects, could take months. "The station always discouraged me from investigating you too closely. When it comes right down to it, I don't think they _really_ wanted to stop you at all. You're good for tourism, you know. And for the construction industry. Even the insurance companies like you, since you give them such a good excuse to jack up their rates. I'm actually pretty sure that the Metro Man Museum was an insurance scam."

"In what way?"

She leans forward in the manner of a woman imparting juicy gossip, "Well, _I_ heard that the city insured it for an exorbitant amount, more than twice what it actually cost to build in the first place. They knew you'd blow it up eventually. I mean, they made this huge museum as a shrine to Metro Man, gave him his own holiday to celebrate its opening, and put a giant statue of him right out in front. They were just daring you to flatten it. What respectable supervillain could let that stand? The only thing less subtle would have been to paint a red target on the front doors. There was a pool in our office on when you'd destroy it. I had my money on opening day. You lost me fifty bucks."

"You actually _wanted_ me to destroy public property?"

"Of course not, but it was inevitable. I was only wagering on _when_ you'd do it."

He gazes at her for a moment, thinking how well she knew him. "I considered it," he admits eventually, "but I had my heart set on the Death Ray. Blowing up that statue on Metro Mahn Day with a beam from the sky would have been an immensely satisfying spectacle, but the risk of unintended casualties was unacceptably high. Despite my terrifying image, I do try to keep bystanders safe. I have no desire to see innocents killed." He'd witnessed the deaths of billions when he was 8 days old. He does not take death lightly. The few deaths attributed to his evil were all either clear cases of self-defense or people who'd foolishly ventured too close despite the blindingly obvious danger of the situation. Though he hesitates to say the idiots deserved what they got, there _is_ a certain justice to purging the gene pool of humans stupid enough to actually approach an epic battle between good and evil.

"I know. It's one of the reasons I love you." He can't help smiling at that statement. He's still not sure how he'd managed to win her love, but he wasn't going to question it. "Anyway," she continues, "I was planning a story on it for work, but my boss told me to drop it. So, instead I gave them the some drivel about Metro Man's heart being like an ocean."

"Yes, I saw that one. Not your finest work. What did it mean? His heart being like an ocean inside a bigger ocean?"

"It means I was running out of ways to gush about him. Do you have any idea how hard it is to praise the man every week and not have it come out exactly the same as the week before?"

"I had never really considered it. Another testament to your brilliance and creativity." He is quiet for a moment, then his brows furrowed, "Wait. Who did the insurance policy for the Museum pay out to?"

Roxanne shrugs, "The city, probably. But, since you _are_ the city, they probably won't pay. It would be a bit like taking out a policy on your home and then burning it down yourself. They're not going to pay you for destroying your own property."

"Hmmm," he answers, "I had some uncles that tried that. It never worked for them, either. Still, I think I'll take a look at the policy anyway, just in case. That museum cost around 50 million dollars to construct. The city could use that money. And I certainly don't want it going into the private bank account of some city official." He pauses briefly to reconsider his statement before correcting himself. "Unless I'm the official, of course."

* * *

><p>Wayne changes into daytime clothes. He wears a pair of blue jeans, cowboy boots, and a button-up flannel shirt worn open over a white T-shirt. He's going for the image of an everyday Joe, something difficult to pull off with his hulking physique. He combs his graying hair and trims his scruffy beard into a neater shape. Not a goatee. Villains wear goatees. He doesn't want anything to make his guests think that he's turned to the dark side. He brushes his teeth and flashes a gleaming smile at himself in the mirror. <em>Lookin' good, Music Man<em>, he tells himself. He walks back into the living room where the cubes wait for him and all his resolve flees. How can he possibly look those two heroes in the eye and tell them that he quit? He picks up a guitar and strums it to calm his nerves.

* * *

><p>Roxanne licks chocolate icing off her fingers from her doughnut. "Hey, you haven't told me about your battle yet. How'd it go with Strongman?" Roxanne hadn't caught the hero's name during the exchange she'd witnessed in the lair, but a quick bit of internet research had given her, not only his name, but very nearly everything she might ever want to know about the super and his sidekick. She knew that his superhuman strength was his main power, but that it didn't fully activate until he transformed into a 10-foot tall colossus. Even then, he wasn't a match for Metro Man's seemingly limitless brawn, but he <em>was<em> strong enough to be classified as a juggernaut. Unfortunately, his transformation was linked with his temper, which is why he was paired with a sidekick with empathic projection powers. On his own, Strongman tended to become excessively violent and cause too much collateral damage. SilverPsychic's job was to hold his leash.

Understanding precisely what Megamind was up against hadn't made her feel better, as she had hoped it would. It merely gave her something more concrete to worry about. The only thing that actually kept her from being a nervous wreck last night had been the brainbots that were left in the lair. They were in constant contact with their brothers and could assure her that their daddy was still safe. When she'd finally gone to bed, it was only after ordering the brainbots to wake her if anything serious happened to Daddy.

"It's harder than you'd think to sneak up on a psychic," Megamind answers. "It took hours to chase them down and get them backed into a corner. They managed to ambush us twice. He could actually sense the brainbots. I didn't expect that."

"Was anyone hurt?" She knows from their activities earlier that morning that Megamind is uninjured, but that doesn't mean Minion and the bots came out of it unscathed.

"The Spe-ider bot took the brunt of it. It's going to need extensive repairs. I had to have the brainbots fly it home. Other than that, we all got knocked around some, but we came out _victorious_." He smiles at her, "God, I've missed fighting with a hero who actually knows how to play the game!"

"I thought you were the hero now."

He tilts his hand back and forth in a so-so gesture. "It's a matter of perspective. What matters is they're out of my city."

"What did you do with them?"

He swallows his food. "I dehydrated them and gave them to Music Mahn. After all, they're really his problem."

"Oh, that's perfect!"

"I thought so."

* * *

><p>"I have eyes that can see, right through le-e-ead.<br>Arms as strong as a thou-sand me-e-en.  
>I can hear you scream from miles away.<br>I'll come to your res-cue,  
>Like I always do.<br>Like I always will.  
>Like I have no say.<br>No freedom to refuse.  
>Power-ful, but power-less,<br>Who asked me if I want-ed this?

"Wish I could just lay down, let him wi-i-in.  
>His death ray floating up in spa-a-ace,<br>The victory he's dreamed of.  
>Fire from above.<br>Maybe I will die.  
>Let him have his day.<br>I don't want to play.  
>I'll have to break the rules.<br>Power-ful, but power-less,  
>I'll leave him to clean up the mess.<p>

"Dead men rest in pe-eace, and it's qui-i-et.  
>My tomb's my fortress un-der-gro-o-ound,<br>I hear the screams, but I don't come.  
>That's someone else's job.<br>Like it was before.  
>Like it is again.<br>Like I wasn't here.  
>Heroes can be made.<br>Power-less, but power-ful.  
>Who said you ever needed me?"<p>

Music man grimaces at the last line. It doesn't work. He needs a word that rhymes with _full_. He glares at his silent audience of cubes, "I can't concentrate with you staring at me," he tells them resentfully. They don't respond to the accusation. He sighs, "Fine, I'll rehydrate you," he concedes, "I'll never get any work done until I do, anyway." He scoops up the cubes and flies down his entry hall and up into the schoolhouse above. Once above ground, he lets gravity take hold of him and walks out the door like a human.

* * *

><p>Megamind finishes his coffee and glances at the digital clock on his microwave of evil, "Oh, look at the time. I am running late. I have to get moving if I'm going to get to the lawyer's office on time. Brainbots! I need my gloves, cape, watch, and de-gun." He uses a paper napkin to wipe the doughnut crumbs from his face and wipes his hands. Then he stands and lets the bots do their job in helping him complete his villainous ensemble. "How do I look?" he asks her.<p>

She stifles a giggle at his expense. Anyone else would look ridiculous in that outfit, but on him it looks natural. Sexy, even. Maybe she's been around him too long. She fails to even notice how strange he is if she's not paying close attention. She tells him, "Dark and spiky, as usual."

It isn't exactly the same response that Minion usually gives to that question, but it's satisfactory. "I don't have time to take you back to your apartment before the meeting," he tells her as he adjusts the straps of his watch on his wrist to fit better. "Would it be acceptable if Minion gives you a ride home?"

"That's fine. I haven't really had much chance to talk to him since everything happened, anyway."

"Ah-ah," he cautions her playfully, waggling a finger in her direction, "No fair using your nosy reporter skills on his weak-willed mind."

"Your brainbots call me Mommy and I can access anything on your network," she scoffs, "I don't think _Minion_ is the weak link in your security system."

"You have a point," he agrees, checking the fit of his holster and making sure his gun won't bind up when he draws it. He glances at his watch again and sighs, his voice full of regret. "I really wish I could stay, but you know… Things to do, a city to run." He steps back to her and leans in for a brief kiss. "So, I'll see you… later?" They hadn't discussed tonight's sleeping arrangements. However, he knows she will be getting her new bed delivered today and the apartment should be livable again by evening. That meant there will be no need for her to spend her nights with him. Will she still _want_ to spend the night with him? He doesn't look forward to sleeping alone.

Lucky for him, she isn't eager to let him go now that she has him. "Come over to my place tonight," she offers, "I'll make you dinner."

He smiles in relief, "That sounds wonderful," he tells her, brushing his forehead gently against hers in farewell before swaggering out to the garage portion of the lair. "Ciao, ciao, my dear," he calls over his shoulder.

"Bye, Megamind," she answers, "Good luck."

* * *

><p>Wayne Scott walks along the empty beach, absently tossing his cubes into the air a few inches and catching them again. He's several miles from his hideout at this point. He doesn't want the heroes to know where he's living. He doesn't expect them to respect his retirement and doesn't want them hounding him at home. The rocky beach gives little sign of his footsteps and the long walk helped him clear his head. He spots a comfortable-looking driftwood log sitting safely above the waterline and seats himself. Then he tosses the cubes into the shallow water.<p>

There's a blue shimmer in the air and the two Heroes Consortium members materialize, the larger one on his back in the water and the smaller one on his feet. The smaller man stumbles and pinwheels his arms as he regains his balance on the wet and uneven footing. His partner lets out a bellow of rage as he flounders in the water, soon righting himself and climbing to his feet. They both look around themselves, blinking in the daylight.

Describing the first as larger is an understatement. He's a 10-foot tall colossus with grayish skin and the ragged remains of a white spandex supersuit clinging to him in strategic places. His partner is a thin, older man with grey hair and a neat, silver supersuit. Wayne knows them. Strongman and SilverPsychic. Last he'd heard, they were assigned to the protection of Denver and its surrounding mountain towns.

Their attention eventually focuses on the bearded man sitting calmly on the log.

"Who are you?" Strongman demands. It isn't really surprising that the hero doesn't recognize his former colleague. He's disguised, after all. A change of clothes is often all that is needed to hide a superhero's identity from the casual observer. Add a beard and Wayne knows he's probably unidentifiable to their eyes. And, of course, Strongman isn't at his most perceptive in his current, transformed state.

"A dead man," he answers, "I heard you were looking for me."

"We're not looking for anyone but that freak Overlord. Where the hell is he?" Strongman swears unheroically. The giant had never been very good at controlling his language, even when he was calm.

"I don't know. Probably back at his Evil Lair. It doesn't matter. He has a city to run. He left you to me."

Strongman stalks up to Wayne and picks him up by the collar, dangling him six feet off the ground, "And who the hell are you?"

Wayne effortlessly forces the giant's extraordinarily strong hands open and calmly removes his shirt from his grip. Then he drifts lazily back to his seat on the log.

"He's Metro Man," says SilverPsychic, frowning as he concentrates on the bearded man's mind. "No human has that aura."

"He can't be. Metro Man is…"

"Dead?" Wayne Scott answers, "That _was_ the point."

"Goddamn it! You mean that little freak was telling the truth? We came all the way out here to avenge a murder and that little twerp was actually innocent?" Strongman rages.

"So it would seem," his sidekick confirms, "Though he _is_ a convicted felon and he _did_ take over the city. He's hardly innocent."

"Oh, that's just _great_!" he grumbles, kicking a stone the size of his head out into the lake. It skips twice. He turns and stabs his finger accusingly into the air toward Wayne. "Alright, Metro, you better have an amazing explanation for this. You left the city in the hands of a _supervillain_! That is a gross violation of everything the Consortium stands for!"

Wayne shrugs, unconcerned, "I don't think it's really all that bad."

"ALL THAT BAD! You hand your city over to the forces of evil and it's not ALL THAT BAD!" Strongman's body grows a few inches taller and he trembles in rage.

"Calm down, Jeff," he tells the raging hero, addressing him with his real name, "You know no one can talk to you when you're like this. Besides, you're no match for me even like this, so there's really no point."

"He's right," SilverPsychic agrees, placing his hand on his partner's arm and radiating calming emotions. As they watch, Strongman's body shudders and shrinks.

* * *

><p>Sandra Ritchi walks up to the front door of the Scott Manor. She presses the button and hears the distant chimes of a doorbell. Less than a minute later, the door is opened by a man in a carefully tailored black suit. "May I help you?" he asks, eying her discount store sundress with obvious disdain.<p>

Sandra smiles politely, "Yes. I need to speak with Lady Scott, please."

"Do you have an appointment?" the man asks, looking down his nose at the visitor.

"No. I suppose I should have called ahead, but I've misplaced her phone number. Is she here?" she smiles brightly up at the butler, who seems inclined to leave her standing on the doorstep all day.

"The Lady Scott is home, but she's very busy. If you don't have an appointment, I'll have to ask you to come back when you do."

"Oh, for the love of God. Just tell her Sandra Ritchi is here. I'm Roxanne's mother. Tell her I need to talk to her."

"And what do you need to see her about?"

"I think that's between Elizabeth and me."

After a brief pause, he concedes. "Very well. I will ask if she will see you."

"Thank you," Sandra answers just before the door closes, leaving her to wait on the porch. Luckily, she doesn't have to wait long before Lady Scott, herself, opens it again.

"Sandra!" she exclaims, "So good of you to come by. I haven't seen you since the Christmas party! Come in, come in!" She opens the door wider and motions her visitor into the foyer of the grand house. "I wasn't expecting visitors today." She chatters inconsequently as she leads Sandra through the house into a sitting room. Once the women are seated, she asks, "What is it I can do for you today?"

"Well, I hardly know where to start and I'm half afraid you won't believe me..." She sighs and wrings her hands, "But I just think you needed to know the truth. It's about Wayne..."

* * *

><p>Minion hums to himself as he walks into the kitchen. He'd heard Sir rev the newly-repaired hoverbike's engine before leaving evil lair a few minutes before. He's pleased to have the place to himself to begin his own work for the day. He snaps his metal fingers and directs two brainbots to deal with the litter from Sir and Miss Ritchi's morning meal. As they do that, he removes a large metal pail from one of the crates that serve as cabinets in the evil lair's kitchen. He opens the refrigerator door and removes several beef roasts and piles the raw meat into the bucket. Then he turns toward the EXIT door to feed the alligators.<p>

On the way he is surprised to spot Miss Ritchi sitting at the desk he'd set up for her yesterday. She's zipping up her computer bag after, apparently, just packing it up. She turns at the sound of his footsteps and beams a smile at him. "Good morning, Minion."

"Good morning, Miss Ritchi," he answers. "I didn't realize you were still here. I thought I heard Sir leave already."

"He did. He was in a hurry to get to the lawyer's office, so he volunteered you to take me home instead. I hope you don't mind."

"No," he answers, "I don't mind. Just give me a few minutes to feed the alligators and we can go." He mentally rearranges his morning schedule to accommodate the trip to Roxanne's apartment. He thinks it might give him a good excuse to stop by that new fish market a few blocks away that he'd been wanting to try. He'd heard that both the local sushi restaurants and several high-end seafood places had switched over to using them as their supplier and he wanted to see how their perch and walleye compared to the place he was used to using.

"That's fine," she answers, "I'm not in any real hurry. I don't expect the delivery men until after lunchtime."

He nods, continuing on to the EXIT door with Roxanne trailing behind him. "Listen, Miss Ritchi, I'm sorry about last night. About... _interrupting_ you and sir... I didn't... I mean, I don't want you to think-"

"It's okay, Minion. Megamind should have taken a second to put on a robe or wrap himself up in the blanket or something. He didn't have any reason to open up stark naked like that."

"Still, I shouldn't have interrupted you two."

"Don't be silly, Minion. You did exactly what you were supposed to do. He was the one who was rude. I'm sorry he embarrassed you like that. I know you weren't trying to walk in on us or anything."

Minion huffs out a cloud of bubbles in relief. He'd really been worried about having interfered the night before. "Thank you for understanding. I hope I didn't spoil you night."

She smiles dreamily for a moment, remembering the events of the night before and that morning. "Don't worry about it. The timing wasn't as bad as it could have been," she assures him, without saying anything specific. She isn't really comfortable discussing details of her sex life with the henchfish, but it's obvious that Minion is aware of exactly what they'd been doing. She wonders if he disapproves and hopes he doesn't.

They reach the EXIT door and Minion opens it up. Disco music spills out of the room below and spinning lights dance along the walls. Minion takes a piece of meat in one robot hand and extends his wrist to hold the food about five feet directly above the snout of one of the alligators below. The animal jumps and snaps the meal directly out of Minion's hand. He pulls his appendage back to retrieve another portion of meat and repeats the same process with a second alligator. There are five alligators all together and Minion carefully feeds each one its breakfast as Roxanne watches in fascination.

"You train them to jump for their food," she observes.

"Yes. Alligators are ambush hunters. They just lay there in the water pretending to be logs until something swims up close enough for them to snap up. It's a very effective technique, but not really theatrical enough for Sir's needs. So, we've had to train them to be more impressive."

"And why the disco stuff?"

"It gets them used to loud noises and strange lights. They're less likely to panic around explosions and things. Also, they seem to enjoy it." He drops the last piece of meat into the room and closes the door again. He walks back to the kitchen and cleans his hands and the bucket with water hot enough to produce steam. He seems to be taking longer than the task actually needs, his face troubled. Finally, he shuts off the water and picks up a towel for drying. He is meticulous, making sure both his hands and the pail get dried completely before stowing the bucket neatly back in the crate it came from. "Miss Ritchi, why are you doing this?" he finally asks.

"Doing what?" she asks, suspecting what he means, but wanting him to explain to be certain.

"This!" he gestures expansively, "Everything. You're not supposed to be here. You're not supposed to be on our side. You're certainly not supposed to be _sleeping_ with Sir!"

"Does it bother you that I'm sleeping with Megamind?"

"Yes! I mean, no. I mean... I don't understand why you're doing it. The only women who have ever been interested before have been the kind that just wanted the thrill of sleeping with a space alien or a supervillain. No human has ever really wanted _him_. So, why are you different?"

She sighs and smiles at Minion, taking a seat at the table again. "Minion, you know we were dating for several weeks when he was disguised as Bernard."

"Yes, Miss Ritchi. I told him that was a bad idea. I said he-"

"Minion, it's fine," she interrupts, "And you were right. I was furious when I found out. But do you know why I was so angry?"

"Because he -lied to you?" he guesses.

She shakes her head no. "Because he made me fall in love with him. That brilliant, eccentric, exciting man who was so unlike anyone I'd ever met before, but somehow he seemed so familiar. Like I'd known him for years. Like I'd always been with him. Do you know that a week after I started dating _Bernard_, I told my mother that I thought he was the one?"

Minion gapes, "Miss Ritchi, I'm so sorry. I knew it was a bad idea-"

"No, Minion. I'm glad he lied to me. If he hadn't, I wouldn't have ever realized what an amazing guy he is. When I found out the truth, I was so hurt and humiliated that I couldn't think straight for a while. I felt like Megamind had killed Bernard. First he'd killed Wayne and then he'd tricked me into falling for Bernard just so he could take him away as well. I couldn't understand why he was so _evil_. I mean, what could he possibly hope to gain? Did he enjoy seeing me in pain?"

"Oh, Miss Ritchi. No, he never wanted to hurt you-"

"I know. I was wrong to think it. Completely wrong." She reaches out to absently stroke a brainbot that had floated nearby, hoping for some attention from Mommy. "It wasn't Bernard I fell in love with, Minion. It was _always_ Megamind. The real him. The part he'd never let me see when he was trying so hard to be evil. What I told my mom was right. I think we belong together."

"Oh, Miss Ritchi!" cries Minion, suddenly wrapping his robotic gorilla arms around her and crying into his water-dome. "That's so beautiful!"

"Minion! I can't breathe!" she gasps.

"Oh," Sniff. "Heh-heh", he laughs nervously, releasing her from his embrace, "Sorry, Miss Ritchi." He wipes at the glass of his dome with a finger, as if wiping away a tear. "I guess I got a little carried away."

* * *

><p>Megamind lands his hoverbike on the roof of the Edlestein, Bryant and Cooper offices. It is a 20 story skyscraper near the center of town. It's Hardly the tallest building in the city, but it's reflective dark windows and stonework are impressively foreboding in a city filled with white marble and golden chrome. One side of the building is curved and looks out onto a decorative pond with a fountain in the middle. It had gained the nickname of the Darth Vader building. Perhaps because of its placement among so many slightly shorter nondescript white buildings. One can imagine it standing in command of an army of stormtrooper buildings. Somehow Megamind likes the comparison.<p>

He gestures with an arm and the swarm of three hundred or so brainbots that had come with him surround the building, most entering at the front and beginning to run sweeps, looking for explosives, weapons, or supers hidden inside. He waits patiently on his bike until the brainbots spill out again through the roof access, reporting the all-clear. He orders most of them back to their patrols, but keeps fifty or so surrounding the office block while six form up around him.

He dismounts from his bike and strides across the roof, knowing that even now there is a security camera at the door watching him approach. He angles his body to best catch the wind, allowing it to flap his dark cape out behind him as he marches confidently into the building, knowing that all eyes are on him. Just the way he likes it.

* * *

><p>"What happened to you?" asks Strongman, now back to human proportions. "You used to be the ultimate hero. You're the last one I'd expect to up and quit."<p>

Wayne shrugs, "It was just time, I guess. I've been kinda going through the motions for awhile. I was feeling so... trapped in my life as a hero. So, I came up with the brilliant idea," dramatic pause, "to fake my death."

The two heroes stare at him blankly.

"I think it's worked out pretty well, all things considered," he continues.

SilverPsychic clears his throat and asks, in as neutral a tone as he can manage, "A supervillain is ruling your city. How is it you consider _that_ working out pretty well?"

"The city's safe, isn't it?"

"But it is being ruled by an Evil Overlord!" Strongman bellows.

"Who is keeping it _safe_," he insists.

SilverPsychic rubs the bridge of his nose, calming himself and gathering his thoughts. "That's not the point. You are a hero. You are supposed to keep the villains in line. You're _supposed_ to keep them from taking over the city."

"Why?"

"What do you mean why? It's what heroes do!" Strongman snaps.

"I'm not a hero anymore."

"But you have powers! You are the strongest hero on Earth!" insists Strongman. "You're virtually a god!"

"I was never a god. I _was_ a hero. But no one said it had to be a lifetime gig. I did it for almost twenty years. Isn't that long enough?" he shakes his head, "No, I'm done. The fact is that Megamind's protecting the city at least as well as I did and he actually _cares_ about it in a way I haven't for years. If he wants the responsibility that bad, let him _have_ it."

"He can't be the city's protector. He's a villain!" Strongman argues.

Wayne stands up. The heroes aren't listening to him. What did he really expect? He'd been fooling himself to think they'd understand. "I'm not going to argue with you anymore. You know that I'm not dead now. That's all I promised Roxanne I'd do."

"Yes, _Roxanne_. Your _girlfriend_," sneers Strongman. "She's with Megamind now, you know? I guess she has a thing for villains. How long has that been going on? You think he was boning her the whole time?" The hero hopes the crude accusation will snap Wayne out of his indifference.

It doesn't. Wayne already knows they're together. It hurts, but there's nothing he can do about it. After all, she was never really his to begin with. He clenches his fists and turns away from the other two men. "Take the road at the top of the hill. Follow it east for about two miles and you'll find a gas station. You can use the pay phone there to contact the Consortium. I suggest you don't return to the city. You're not welcome there." He begins to walk along the shoreline, toward the city. "Don't follow me."

* * *

><p>The secretary had asked Megamind to take a seat and wait for Mr. Cooper to see him. But he is the Overlord. He doesn't wait. Instead, he walks past her and into the office. It is ten o'clock, the exact time of his appointment. The lawyer should be ready for him. If he isn't, that's his own fault.<p>

To his credit, Edward Cooper does not jump when the supervillain strides into his office, plopping himself directly into the visitor's chair in front of the massive desk and propping his custom baby seal leather boots on the edge.

"I'll call you back," he says into the telephone handset before placing it back on the receiver. He stands and walks around the desk, offering his hand to Megamind, "Welcome, Lord Megamind."

Megamind eyes the man's hand for a moment before shaking it firmly without rising to his feet. "Good morning, Mister Cooper."

"I must say I'm excited to have the opportunity to represent you. I've been interested in your case since you first started stirring up trouble in Metro City. Tell me, what is it you want me to do for you."

"I want to re-enter society as a solid citizen," he says seriously. "And I am prepared to pay you handsomely to accomplish this."

"Alright. Well, let's get started, then." Edward Cooper pulls a notepad and pen from out of his desk, "Tell me about your legal problems."

"Well, my problems start at the beginning. The very beginning..."

* * *

><p>Roxanne had barely begun setting her apartment in order when Rose arrives at her door, bearing lunch from her favorite restaurant as payment for the gossip she intends to extract from her big sister. "So," she begins, leaning forward eagerly, "What was he like?"<p>

* * *

><p>By the time the meeting breaks up, it's late in the afternoon. They'd moved to the conference room around lunchtime and Edward had pulled in 15 different lawyers to consult on their various specialties. He'd also brought in a public relations team and two lobbyists. The project would cost a fortune, but they were optimistic. It was true what they said. With enough money, anything is possible. And Megamind had promised to pay.<p>

* * *

><p>When Wayne returns to his underground fortress of solitude, he's surprised to find a familiar car parked outside the old schoolhouse that guards the entrance. He considers turning around and going somewhere else. But, if she's here, it probably means she already knows. He doesn't gain anything by postponing the inevitable. His superpowered hands shake with nerves as he floats down the long corridor to his home. Opening the thick metal door, he's greeted by the expected woman sitting primly on his white couch tapping on her iPad as she waits. She turns toward him as he enters.<p>

"Hey, Mom," he greets sheepishly. This is definitely a bad day.

* * *

><p>Megamind is nervous as he circles Roxanne's apartment building. An irrational part of him fears that last night had been some sort of fluke. That, outside of his influence for an entire day, she'd come to her senses and regret what they'd done together. He lowers his bike to the balcony, cutting the engine and parking it expertly. Dozens of brainbots are in the air guarding the area around the apartment building. He hadn't forgotten being shot the other day and he isn't taking any chances.<p>

He approaches the door and knocks. All his reservations disappear when she answers the door and he sees her. She's wearing a slinky black dress that hugs her curves in all the right places and would be positively indecent out in public. Oh, what an evil queen she would have made! He wonders if he's drooling as he follows her inside. That's when he hears the giggle and notices another woman in the room.

He pulls his eyes off of his Roxanne to assess the stranger. She's younger than Roxanne by a few years and wears tight jeans, motorcycle boots, and a white t-shirt. Her face is the same shape and her hair the same color. He quickly puts the puzzle together and identifies the woman. "You must be Rose Ritchi," he says to her.

"The one and only," she smirks, stepping forward and making no attempt to hide how she is checking him out. Judging him. "Somehow, I thought you'd be taller," she says finally, slight disappointment in her voice. Then she steps around him to look at the hoverbike parked out on the balcony, still ticking as the metal cools in the night air. She steps outside and walks around it, obviously comparing it with everything she knows about bikes and custom machines. She seems impressed.

"Is she staying?" he whispers to Roxanne, worried that they won't be alone tonight.

"No, she was just leaving," she answers, "Weren't you Rose?"

"Huh?" Rose asks, pulled out of her examination of the hoverbike, "Oh, yeah. I'm leaving in a minute. But my sister's dating a real, live space alien. I _had_ to come and gawk." Despite her words, the woman seems much more interested in the bike than in Megamind's alienness. With a resigned sigh and a last backward glance at the bike, Rose leaves the balcony. Once inside again, she picks up her purse from the couch and folds her leather jacket over one arm. Pointing at Megamind, she declares, "You, Mister Blue, have _got_ to give me a ride on that thing someday or I'll never forgive you." Not waiting for an answer, and apparently not expecting one, she walks over to Roxanne and gives her a hug to say goodbye. Then, to Megamind's surprise, she does the same to him, hugging him briefly before saying, "Bye you two. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Is there actually anything you wouldn't do?" Roxanne asks with a teasing grin.

"Anything, anyone, anywhere. You know me sis. Have fun." With that she opens the door and leaves the two alone in a room that suddenly feels much emptier without her presence.

"I think I like her," Megamind says, surprising himself. There aren't very many humans, particularly women, that he can honestly say that about.

"Everyone likes Rose. She has this way of drawing all the attention in the room. It used to drive me crazy. You can't imagine the number of my boyfriends she stole away without even really trying to."

"Oh, well. You needn't worry about that," he says, stepping toward Roxanne and pulling her into his embrace, "There's only one Miss Ritchi for me." He presses his forehead against hers, humming contentedly at the contact which Roxanne is beginning to suspect means much more to him than it does to her.

"Just you remember that, Spaceman," she warns him with mock seriousness.

"Are you threatening your Overlord?" he asks, smiling and nuzzling his head against hers.

"You bet I am," she confirms, "I don't share what's mine."

"You think you own me now, do you?" he asks.

She opens her mouth, about to answer, then reconsiders her words. "Is there any answer I can give that _won't_ end in you throwing me over your shoulder and carrying me up to the bedroom?"

He pretends to consider the question. "I certainly hope not," he answers. He grins wickedly and proceeds to do just what she'd suggested.

"Ow! You have too many spikes," she complains as he carries her upstairs.

"Scream all you want, Miss Ritchi. I'm afraid no one will hear you," he threatens, tossing her onto the brand-new bed and proceeding to the adult portion of the evening. All things considered, he thinks this has been a pretty good day.

* * *

><p><strong>There is a building known as the Darth Vader building in my city. Aside from being black, I'm not really sure why it's known as that, but it is. So, I used it in here, made it taller, and gave it a better explanation for the name than the real one has. :)<strong>

**And I just had to make Sandra out Wayne. After all, if one mother knew that an acquaintance of her's son WASN'T dead when she thought otherwise, wouldn't she tell? There's no way Sandra could just sit on that and let Elizabeth keep thinking her boy was dead. That would be cruel. As for the two women relationship, I figure they'd met each other because of Wayne and Roxanne, but don't usually run in the same social circles. Elizabeth is the very top of the upper crust, and Sandra is solidly middle class, maybe lower middle class. **

**Really, there was absolutely no chance that the Consortium heroes would say, "Oh, you're retired? That's okay then. I hope everything works out for you..." There just wasn't. The best he could do was walk away without a fight. On the other hand, the heroes can't make him do anything he doesn't want to do. He's virtually a god, after all. **

**And now I have the damn full version of that song running through my head. And, in my head, he sings it off-key, so that's how I'm hearing it... argh! **

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. **

**Remember to review, please.  
><strong>


	14. Emergency Manager

Michigan Legislature appoints Megamind Metro City's Emergency Manager

Thursday, the Michigan legislature passed into immediate effect an expansion of Public Act 72 of 1990 which allowed the state to intervene units of local government that experience financial emergencies. The expansion will allow the state to intervene at an earlier stage and expands the power of emergency managers to better equip them with the tools needed to address a local unit's financial emergency. The first Emergency Manager appointment announced was the formal acceptance of Overlord Megamind as Emergency Manager for Metro City, a position which closely mirrors the role of Overlord that the supervillain has already appropriated for himself.

Democrats in both houses are appealing to the courts to block this law from going into affect under Michigan's immediate effect provision because they claim the Republican majority did not have the two thirds majority required by the provision.

The Emergency Management law gives the emergency manager the power to fire duly elected representatives, alter or kill collective bargaining agreements, eliminate collective bargaining rights for up to 5 years, seize and sell public property, outsource government jobs, raise taxes, add to local debt, and dissolve or merge whole cities, counties, and school districts. Critics of this law fear that the law amounts to basically removing democracy in areas where the law is applied. They also worry about the precedent this sets for giving legal approval to the unlawful seizure of a major Michigan city by a supervillain.

Republicans in the House issued a statement saying that, "Metro City was clearly in crisis after the elimination of its protector and the destruction caused by two separate supervillain rampages. We believe accepting and normalizing the current position claimed by Megamind will restore stability to the city and allow it to recover. We are satisfied that Megamind shares the state's goals of a strong and financially stable Metro City."

**Art imitating life. **

**Megamind is getting his money's worth out of those lobbyists he hired. **

**I feel bad making Megamind responsible for Michigan's Emergency Manager law. But... It just fit so well...**

**If only this were entirely fictitious...**

**Review, please...**


	15. Hey, Mom

**Okay, why did I make the fortress not have stairs? Because I thought it would be cool, that's why. Well, now I need stairs so his mom could get down. So... ladder? **

**Also, I was feeling bad making Wayne such a jerk. Maybe he has a good reason to quit his job and abandon the city. A really good reason. **

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0oo0

"Hey, Mom," he greets sheepishly. This is definitely a bad day.

The woman looks up at him, her lips pressed tightly together. She huffs out a breath, his presence the final confirmation of Sandra Ritchi's story. Of course, she knew it was true when she'd walked into the schoolhouse to find the trapdoor left carelessly open. The caretakers that maintain this building and the bluff and beach that surround it would never leave it like that. Still, there was the chance of some other explanation. Perhaps someone had found the place abandoned and was squatting here. So she'd retrieved the ladder from the storage cabinet and climbed into the dark to find out.

"You're not dead," she observes flatly. She closes the cover on her iPad case and tucks it into the matching Italian leather purse next to her. She folds her manicured hands together over her knees, crosses her ankles, and gives her son her undivided attention. "So, tell me what happened."

Wayne lets out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding and kneels before the small woman whose Christmas gift he'd once been. He opens his mouth, but no words come out. He tries again with similar results.

"You escaped the death ray," she prompts.

Wayne nods. "Copper wasn't..."

"Was never your weakness. I'm surprised I hadn't realized it earlier. Did you and Megamind plan it out?"

He shakes his head. "No, he had no idea until a few days ago," he answers, "He thought I was a ghost when he first saw me."

She nods, "That's what Sandra told me. That it was all _your_ idea. That's what I found so hard to believe. I expected better from you."

"Sandra?" he asks, confused, "Who's Sandra?"

"Sandra Ritchi," she answers, "Roxanne's mother. She came to see me today."

"Oh. Her. I didn't realize Roxie'd told her Mom." He frowns, glowering into the distance. "I wonder who else she's told."

"Don't take that tone with me," his mother scolds, snapping him out of his petulance. "She was only telling the truth."

"I know," he answers, remembering his last encounter with Roxanne. She'd been so angry with him. He wonders if she'd already begun to besmirch his good name. But, no. He'd kept his word when he'd dealt with Strongman and Silver Psychic. Roxanne would keep her end of the bargain. She'd always been an unfailingly honest person. He wonders if she'll be able to pull off the lie she'd threatened him with. He wonders if his mother would believe her if she did.

"Why'd you do it?" Lady Scott asks.

"I don't know, Mom. I'm just... tired." It's the same answer he gave Megamind. "Tired of the whole hero gig. I wanted to do something else and it seemed like the only way out."

"Bull," she answers, knowing her son better than anyone else does, even Roxanne. She'd changed his diapers, read him stories, taught him the difference between right and wrong, comforted him when nightmares woke him in the night, and watched him grow into the man he is today. The man who is right now hiding underground from the rest of the world. This isn't Wayne. She knows that. Something is terribly wrong. Something much more serious than superhero burnout, and she is determined to find out what. "You loved being a hero. Always did. Your father and I never forced you to go into the protection field. That was all you. Since you were three years old all you wanted to be was a hero."

"I'm not three anymore," he objects.

"No, you're not. But you have the same super heart you did then. You're never so happy as when you're using your powers to help others. The last time we spoke was the week before Metro Man Day. I was so proud of you and you were so happy that you'd finally been recognized with your own official appreciation day. You went on and on about that museum, and you told me that you planned to take on a young protégé this fall. You weren't burned out. You loved your job."

It was true. He had been happy. Mostly. "The people of Metro are so helpless," he complains, "Every time I turn around, someone needs my help. It's exhausting."

"But it's all worth it when you rescue someone in real danger. When you _know_ that person is alive because _you_ saved them. When you return a stolen child to their parent's arms or pull someone from a burning building. I know you feel that way because your eyes light up when you tell me those stories. Just look around this room." She gestures at all the memorabilia on careful display around them. "You're surrounded by reminders of what a great hero you were. Why would you keep all this out here if you weren't proud of it?"

Wayne looks around his living room at all the shining mementoes of his heroic career. So many good memories. So much to be proud of. And he _is_ proud. She's right. Metro Man was a true hero. But he's more than just a Protector. "No one said this hero gig had to be a lifetime job, Mom. I did it. And it was great. Really great. But... I can't do it forever. I want to try something else while I have the chance."

"This music hobby of yours. Sandra says you want to be a _rock star_." She says it as if it weren't something to be taken seriously. As if he'd wanted to run away and join the circus or be a cowboy. Not something Wayne Scott would ever truly do.

"And what's wrong with that?" he challenges, sitting back on his heels and crossing his arms across his massive chest. He manages to loom over her while still on his knees on the floor.

She's used to his stature and isn't intimidated. She raises one eyebrow and stares him down until he drops his arms to his sides and stops looming. "Nothing, except that I know being Metro Man's never prevented you from indulging in your hobby before. So why all of a sudden do you need to quit being a hero to play your music?" She narrows her eyes with suspicion. "What's really going on with you?"

Wayne floats over to the couch and sits next to her. He takes her hand in his and sighs, considering what to tell her. Should he tell her the truth? What he hadn't even told Roxanne? If he couldn't tell his mother, who could he? "I'm not invulnerable, Mom."

"Of course you are," she answers, "You've had a supergenius trying for twenty years to find your weakness. If you had one, it would have showed up by now."

"It has, Mom." He swallows, fear in his eyes for the first time since he was a child. "I have cancer."

"What?" she breathes out the word so quietly that he needs his superhearing to catch it.

"I have a brain tumor and there's nothing they can do about it."

She straightens in her seat and squares her shoulders, "Well, that's ridiculous. We'll hire the best doctors on the planet. People beat cancer all the time and you're stronger than any of them."

"No, Mom. You don't understand. I've got cancer and they can't perform surgery because nothing's strong enough to cut my skin, much less my skull. They can't use chemo because the tumor is my own tissue. It's as immune to poison as I am."

"But how is it possible?" She wants to deny the very idea. "You've never been sick before. Not even a cold."

"Earth germs, Mom. They can't hurt me. But the Doctors think I was exposed to a lot of cosmic radiation when I was in my pod as a baby. I've also helped out with 5 or 6 nuclear meltdowns over the last couple of years and I wasn't very careful about tracking my exposure. That might have done it. Or maybe I just have a genetic predisposition for it. They don't really know."

"Did they say," her hands tremble in his grip, "How long?"

He drops his gaze to her tiny hands in his large ones. "A year. Two? Depends on how fast it spreads. I'm not human, so they aren't sure. It's already starting to affect my powers, though. I can't always get my lasers to fire. It seems to works better if I press on the side of my head to do it, like I had to when I was a kid." He demonstrates by tapping his first two fingers against his right temple. "They're hoping my invulnerability will go at some point. Then maybe they'll get a chance to cut it out, but it'll probably be too late by then."

"Oh, Wayne," she whispers, seeing in him the little boy she'd loved for so many, many years. "Come here." She holds out her arms to him and he leans into her embrace, keeping his arms at his side so as not to crush her, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to worry."

"Wayne, I'm your mother. I'm supposed to worry." She's silent for a moment, thinking furiously, "Who else knows? You didn't tell Roxanne." She knows because Sandra would have said. "Could Megamind help?"

"Megamind? He's spent years trying to kill me. Why would he lift a finger to save my life?"

"He's spent most of his life trying to figure out your weaknesses," she points out, hoping she's not grasping at straws.

"Yeah, but that was mostly a game. Good versus Evil in epic battle. He's not a doctor or anything." And he isn't entirely sure Megamind doesn't hate him after how he treated them both yesterday. He wouldn't blame him if he did.

"Regardless, he just might know more about how your body works than your doctors do. It wouldn't hurt to ask."

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

**There's a relative on my husband's side of the family fighting lymphoma right now. His prognosis is good. But it really made him think about things differently. And wouldn't cancer be one thing Metro Man can't fight?**

**So, yeah. I gave Metro Man cancer. I'm God in my own little Megaverse. So, I can do that. Never claimed to be a kind and loving God. ;)**

**P.S.  
>I wonder why the Heroes Consortium Oracles didn't catch his impending cancer death? ;)<strong>


	16. The Interview

Allison Parker sits behind a dark glass-topped desk with the logo for KMCP Channel 8 News emblazoned on the front. The camera cuts in to a shot of the pretty reporter who's perfect blonde hair and fashionable dark grey suit speak of professionalism and integrity. She smiles at the viewers and welcomes them back from the commercial break. "And we're back with the interview I know you've all been waiting for. Tonight I'm here with Megamind, Metro City's very own Overlord." The camera view switches to show the infamous blue alien seated in a chair opposite her on the other side of the massive desk. A caption flares across the bottom of the screen in an exciting animation, then settles down to label the blue man as _Lord Megamind - Overlord of Metro City_ for viewers who may tune in late and not recognize him. He is dressed in his customary black and blue super suit, complete with spiked collar and accessories. One leg is crossed over the other, his ankle resting on his opposite knee. He slouches back casually in a high-backed black leather swivel chair, watching the reporter impassively as she introduces him. "Welcome, Lord Megamind. I'm honored to have the opportunity to speak with you today."

The screen switches to a dual view, with a head-shot of the reporter on the left and the Megamind on the right. A label under the reporter's image identifies her to the viewers as well. "Thank you, Miss Parker. I've been looking forward to it," he answers politely.

"First off," she begins, "Is that the proper form of address I should be using? This is all very new and we aren't really sure what the proper protocol is."

"If you would like to address me as Lord Megamind I certainly won't object, but it really isn't necessary. As of yesterday, I've been legally appointed by the state of Michigan to serve as Metro City's Emergency Manager. So, since I am merely a civil servant, you may address me simply as Megamind if you like." He smiles mildly at the reporter, an unconvincing picture of a harmless civil servant.

The reporter nods, her smile professional, "Then let me congratulations on your new position, Megamind. I know it came as a surprise to most of us." As the reporter speaks, a quick thinking technician behind the scenes changes the former Overlord's caption to read _Megamind - Metro City Emergency Manager_. "Perhaps you can answer a question that's been puzzling me. Why did the state chose to grant you, our conqueror, legal authority over us?" Allison asks.

"Isn't it obvious, Miss Parker?" His face earnest, he suggests, "I believe the state merely recognized my superior abilities and agreed that I'm the best man for the job of restoring law and order to Metrocity."

The view switches back to the show both speakers in profile seated across the desk from each other. Allison holds his gaze for a beat as she considers her response. "Forgive me if I have a hard time swallowing the idea of you working _for_ law and order. You seemed to have battled against that very notion your entire life."

He raises one finger in clarification, "I have never actually had anything against the idea of law and order, _per se_." His pronunciation of _per se_ is exaggeratedly French. He turns his hand over, palm up to offer her his explanation. "So long as it is _my_ law and order."

"That seems like a very common tenant in the creed of evil. This idea that the villain knows better how to rule the world than those already in power," she challenges.

Megamind is given the entire frame for his response. "Can you honestly look around this world, this city," he gestures expansively around himself, "and argue against that? Metrocity was a cesspool of corruption, greed, and incompetence. It was just _begging-_" He clenches his right hand into a fist, "-to be taken over. It has been for years." He crosses his arms over his chest.

Back to Miss Parker. "What Metro City were you living in?" she asks, her expression incredulous, "Before you killed Metro Man, this city was a beacon of hope and prosperity. We had only 4% unemployment and, aside from your activities, the lowest crime rate in the region. We had great schools, beautiful parks, and a thriving arts community. All of which _you_ destroyed! "

A tighter shot of the Overlord's face this time. Those viewer watching in HD can now see clearly the eyeliner rimming his eyes. "Well, it's hardly surprising that _you_ saw Metrocity that way looking down from that Metro Towers apartment of yours, Miss Parker." He leans forward, forcing the camera to pan out, "But it isn't true from any objective analysis." He opens his left hand and begins ticking off points with his fingers. "The fact is the unemployment rate was only low because so many dro-" He falters, but recovers quickly. "-_citizens_ left Metrocity for better opportunities elsewhere. Just consider the number of abandoned and foreclosed homes, if you don't believe me. The crime rate was low because few other supervillains dared to poach _my_ territory and you ran your _hero _ragged 24/7 taking care of everything else. Which, I might add, really should have been left to the cops and emergency workers, for the most part. The schools _aren't_ great. They're adequate. And _that's _more due to the state than the city. The parks are pretty, but the recreational activities they provide have dwindled to almost nothing due to lack of funding and the facilities, like much of the city's infrastructure, have not been maintained adequately for years. You're right about the arts, however. The elite of the city have been exceedingly generous in their funding of the city's theaters and museums. Personally, I think that has more to do with tax benefits than altruism. But perhaps I'm being cynical. The point is, Metrocity only looked prosperous and strong on the surface, Miss Parker. Without Metro Mahn, I took it over in one day with just a hundred brainbots and Minion. Do you think that's something that could happen in a healthy city? I mean, I am _fantastic_," He smirks cockily at the camera, "But I'm only one man. I should have had to pull out my entire robot horde and engaged the police in glorious battle before securing my rule. Instead, they rolled over without firing a shot. It was _very_ disappointing."

The camera's back to a wide view of both of them, catching the reporter's scowl as she responds. "If it was such a pitiful, broken city, why would you _bother_ taking it over?"

"Metrocity is _mine_, Miss Parker," the villain explains matter-of-factly, "I've dedicated my life to the city's conquest. Now that I've finally done it, I'm not going to just _throw away_ my prize. Besides, I believe Metrocity has great potential. All you need is someone who can properly harness it and make it profitable again."

"I'm not sure I like the idea of being harnessed, Megamind. Is this where we get to your rumored slave army?"

"My _rumored_ slave army is just that: a rumor. Why would I need one? I have a robot horde. They're _far more_ effective and loyal than any human slaves would be."

"So, you'll use your _robot horde_ to keep us all in line, then?"

"No, no, no." He shakes his head and sighs, "You don't understand. Miss Parker, we're on the same side now. I've _given up_ the pursuit of evil-"

"Why?" she interrupts. "Why, all of a sudden, have you decided to be the good guy? What changed?"

"Everything changed. I _own_ this city. I can do whatever I like. Take what I like. Destroy what I like. Terrify the population at will. But what's the point? It's all too easy now." He pauses, sounding a bit sad. "There's no challenge when I know no one will stop me. So why bother? There's really nothing in it for me to be evil anymore." He brushes at his knee, perhaps dusting off a speck of lint. "What's the point in stealing something or destroying something that I already own? Why terrify people when they'll do whatever I say without the theatrics and threats? It just isn't necessary anymore."

"Then why didn't you just retire? Steal the city blind and go into seclusion living off your spoils for the rest of your life?"

He rolls his eyes to the ceiling and pulls a face, "Because I would die of boredom!" He leans forward and points to his giant blue head with both hands. "This head is big for a reason." He props his elbows on the table, leaning forward towards the reporter who instinctively moves back a bit. "I'm not happy if I'm not thinking, planning, designing, plotting." He traces geometric shapes and on the black glass tabletop with his left index finger. "I need something to _do_. Lucky for me I've got a whole city that needs rebuilding and restructuring." He looks up from his invisible doodles to catch the reporter's gaze. "I think that should keep me busy for awhile."

"What, exactly are you planning on _restructuring_ in Metro City?

"Whatever needs it. Right now, the most important things are to create jobs and insure public safety. To that end, I'm repairing the city, starting with mostly brainbot labor but transitioning to primarily human workers by the end of the month. I've reopened all the city offices and schools and hired approximately 600 new employees to replace recently vacated positions. Having Metro Mahn on the job for so long allowed the city to dangerously understaff its police and fire department for years. I've authorized the hiring of fifty new police officers and 20 firefighters. I've also assigned a portion of my robot horde to assisting with routine public safety and rescue tasks. Those departments are going through training next week to learn the capabilities of my brainbots and how to use them most effectively. I want to be clear that the brainbots will _not_ replace police or emergency workers, but will merely augment those departments where appropriate. I'm also authorizing additional training for current officers to help with some of the problems that enabled me to _so easily_ take over Metrocity in the first place. In particular, every officer will receive basic anti-supervillain tactical training."

"Wait, let me stop you there. Do you mean to say that you _want_ the police to know how to defeat a supervillain? Aren't you afraid that'll backfire and they'll overthrow you?"

"Of course not. Weren't you listening earlier? I'm not a _supervillain_ now. I'm the legally appointed Emergency Manager for Metrocity for at least the next year. I'm part of the system. As such, It's my responsibility to make certain that the police are trained to deal with supervillain attacks because sooner or later someone's going to show up thinking he can take this city." He points to his own chest to emphasize his upcoming point. "_I_ don't want to be the only thing standing between Metrocity and Doctor Horrible or Eclipso or some other supervillain."

"You don't think you can defend Metro City from a supervillain attack?"

"Miss Parker, I have my own orbital death ray, an extensive robot horde, and I'm literally the smartest man on the planet." The blue man smirks at the reporter. "I can defeat most of Earth's supers, villain _or_ hero, without help from the _police_. But a defender has to win _every_ time. A villain only needs to win _once_. I'd feel more comfortable with the city's safety, and my own as well, if I wasn't the _only_ one capable of putting up a fight."

"Speaking of defending the city, what happened with Strongman and SilverPsychic Monday night? The whole city heard them call you out, and there were reports of a battle through the streets, but then nothing. What happened?" On screen, head-shot portraits of both Hero's Consortium supers appear on one side of the screen along with captions labeling which is which.

He shrugs, "I defeated them."

"Are they... dead?"

His eyes widen in alarm. "Oh, evil gods, no! I just dehydrated them. They should be back at the Consortium headquarters by now. Why does everyone always expect me to kill people?" His right hand gestures off to the side to emphasize the rhetorical question.

Allison answers him with sarcasm dripping off her tongue, "Maybe because you killed Metro Man?"

"I didn't ki-" He stops abruptly, his expressive face suddenly blank. The faintest smile twitches at the corner of his mouth before disappearing. "You know what, it doesn't matter. Those _heroes_ were operating as unlawful vigilantes-"

"Hold on. Back up a second. It sounded like you started to say you didn't kill Metro Man." The reporter's eyes narrow and she smirks, confident she's tripped him up, "I really can't let you get away with a statement like that. Regardless of your current legal status with the city, we're all aware of the elephant in the room. _You_ murdered our hero and broadcast it for the entire city to see."

A smile slides across his face and his voice is perfectly reasonable and calm as he answers. "Miss Parker, as a condition of this interview, you agreed that the subject of Metro Mahn's alleged _murder _and any role I may or may not have had to play in it would not be discussed." His smile turns slightly mischievous. "No fair using your nosy reporter skills trying to trip me into saying something my lawyers might object to."

"You can't possibly deny that you murdered Metro Man! We all saw it live on TV."

"No Comment," he answers cheerfully.

"Oh, come on!"

His eyebrows lower, obscuring the upper half of his eyes. "Go to a commercial, now, Miss Parker. Or else this interview is over," he growls.

Two long seconds pass in awkward silence as the reporter and city manager sit unmoving while they attempt to stare each other down. The cameras stop rolling and the producer speaks up, "And we're off! Two minutes, people!" The crew visibly relax. Cameramen stand back from their equipment and stretch their legs. One takes a soft cloth to his lens. A makeup woman approaches Megamind with a powder puff, intent on minimizing the glare of the studio lights on the blue man's giant bald head. A brainbot intercepts her and takes the puff from her hand and does the job itself. Bot 1234 has been entrusted with the application Daddy's make-up for the last 8 years and will not allow this interloper to do its job. Megamind barely notices as his creature attends to his appearance, his attention on the reporter across from him.

He grins like a madman, all sign of his displeasure vanished in an instant. "Ha-hahaha-ha! That was wonderful!" he cackles, "You sounded so _outraged_. Just the reaction I needed. No one will suspect that that was anything but a slip of the tongue. Ha-ha! Perfect!"

"Just the-" The reporter begins to repeat, "You manipulative bastard! What game are you playing?"

"Oh, no need to resort to name-calling, Miss Parker." He pulls his face into mock-seriousness, but his eyes still sparkle. "Don't blame _me_ when _you_ broke the rules. I'm not going to say anything about Metro Mahn's," finger quotes, "_death_ on live television. I promised the moron that _I_ wouldn't be the one to out him in public."

"To out him? You expect me to believe he's still alive?"

"I _expect_ you to be a reporter, Miss Parker. Investigate, ask questions, report. It shouldn't be that hard. But if you don't feel like doing it, that's fine too. After my little _flub_ on live TV, I'm sure your competition over at channel 6 will be happy to look into it."

"Are you threatening me?"

"Of course not." He purses his lips, his fingers steepled just under his chin. "Motivating you, perhaps. I don't really care who exposes the scandal. It just can't be me or Roxanne. We gave our word."

She shrewdly points out, "Didn't that little slip already break your promise?"

"Not technically. All I said was 'I didn't ki-'. I didn't even say 'kill' and I refused to comment on it one way or the other." He points one gloved finger in her direction, "You inferred."

"A pretty obvious inference."

"Quite."

"And Roxanne's in on it?" she asks incredulously. 

"Oh, yes," he confirms, leaning forward to confide, "You should have seen her confront the big coward. If she'd had her way, she'd have dragged him out by the superpowered ear for everyone to see. Sadly, he's still just as invulnerable as he ever was. No one can make him do anything he's determined not to do."

"And she's managed to keep the story to herself? That's not like her." It's _really_ not like her. There is a reason Roxanne Ritchi is the top reporter at KMCP, and it has nothing to do with superhero scoops. Well, it doesn't entirely have to do with superhero scoops, anyway. Roxanne is ruthless and tenacious and willing to do whatever it takes to get the story. It's something Allison both admires and hates about the brunette. So, how is it that Roxanne had managed to keep something like this to herself?

"Well, who's going to believe _my girlfriend_ when she defends me against a Metro Mahn?"

"The two of you _are_ dating, then?" She asks with a faint sneer. Why would anyone want to date _him_ when they had Metro Man for the asking?

"Oh, don't look so disgusted. I'm funny, brilliant, and incredibly handsome. What woman wouldn't want me?" he asks.

"But you're not _human_," she objects.

"That never bothered anyone when they thought she was dating Metro Mahn." He points out.

"But he's-"

"From the exact same star system I came from. Every bit as much of an extraterrestrial as I am. We landed here on the same day."

"That's not-"

"Ten seconds, people," the producer calls. Crewmembers hurry back into position.

Allison closes her mouth and turns her attention to her appearance. She smoothes her already impeccable clothing and sits up straight, a professional smile masking her true expression. Megamind sits back with a confident smile on his blue face, waiting as the final numbers count down and the on-air sign lights up again.

"Welcome back, Metro City. Tonight I'm speaking live with Megamind, former Supervillain and now Metro City's new Emergency Manager. Before the break we were discussing his plans for the city. Now I'd like to turn to more personal topics. Megamind, you have never before granted the media an interview. Your past has been a matter of rampant speculation all the way back to your supervillain debut. I'm sure you're aware there have been several books on the topic, but all the information is from second- and third-hand sources. Since you're here, I thought we could take this opportunity to learn a little more about your background."

Megamind nods. "Of course, ask me whatever you like."

"Well, let's begin at the beginning. It is widely believed that you were not born on Earth, is that correct?" Of course, she knows the answer, but the question is for the benefit of the audience, not her.

"One of the few _facts_ that my many unofficial biographers generally get right. I was born on a blue planet orbiting a yellow sun similar to Earth's. To this day, I'm not certain of the exact circumstances leading to its demise, but something happened to cause our star to unexpectedly collapse into a black hole, taking the entire system with it. Minion and I were evacuated in a trans-light space pod at the last minute. Your viewers might be surprised to learn that Metro Mahn was also born in the same star system, though on a different planet. He escaped the same way we did. Our pods traveled together on most of the interstellar journey. As far as I know, the three of us were the only survivors."

"That's..." Allison begins, but then changes directions, "I'm sorry for your loss. How old were you?"

"I was eight days old. I'm not sure exactly how old Minion or Metro Mahn were."

"Wow, you were only babies. How do you know what happened? Was there a... I don't know..." she waves her hand uncertainly in the air, "some sort of note in your pod explaining what happened?"

Megamind shakes his head, "Not that I ever found. I know because I remember it." He shrugs and points to his head. "It's big for a reason. I can remember clear back to the morning of my birth. Though, I must admit," he smiles ruefully, "that first day _is_ a bit fuzzy. I think I slept through a lot of it. The day I left, however, is imprinted indelibly on my mind. Perhaps you might be able to imagine the panic of an entire population learning that they were to die in a matter of hours and they could do nothing to prevent it? We were a culture far more advanced than yours is now, but we were completely and utterly helpless."

"That must have been horrible."

"It was. My family, my entire species, everything I'd ever known just... gone." He breathes in a shuddery little breath. That and the seriousness of his tone the only indications on how the memory of his past affected him. "Your human mind cannot comprehend the scale of the destruction. It taxes even my considerable intellect."

Allison lets the condescension pass, since he is relating something so obviously painful for him. Instead she changes the subject slightly to ask what she knows will spring to some viewers' minds next. They will worry about themselves. "How far away was your planet? Does the black hole pose a threat to Earth?"

"No, the distances are vast," he answers. He's relieved to veer away somewhat from the tragic last days of his homeworld. "I lost track of my system on the journey, so I don't know which star it was when seen from Earth. But I'm certain it's somewhere between 40 and 80 light years from here. Plenty of space between us and danger. I don't think we'd have been sent here only to face the same disaster a second time."

"Why were you sent here specifically?"

"I don't know. My father said something about destiny... But I don't know. I assume it was because the Earth's environment was compatible with our physical needs. Our people may have known that the human population had a similar form to mine and Metro Mahn's. That did prove a benefit when it came to assimilation. Metro Mahn more-so than me, of course. But at least I was humanoid enough not to be mistaken for some sort of animal, as Minion was for many years."

"Since you brought up your childhood, could you tell us a little about that? Who raised you? There is a record of you landing in the Metro City Prison for the Criminally Gifted on Christmas Day. But no further reference for six years and then nothing until you were a teenager. Care to fill in the gaps?"

"Certainly. My pod landed in the prison yard and, for the most part, that's where I stayed. It was decided that prison was the most secure place for a child of my... unique characteristics. I proved my knack for mayhem early on and was an eager pupil for all that my fellow inmates had to teach me."

"You were raised in the prison? By the prisoners?" she asks, stunned.

"Of course. Them and the warden," he answers matter-of-factly.

"You did attend school, however?" she clarifies. "I know there was an article about an altercation at a private school near the prison..."

"Yes, my first foray into the world of academics at the tender age of six." He smiles fondly for a beat, then looks up with a more serious expression, "It was less successful than I might hope. Due to my lack of proper documentation, the public school system did not want to take me and my amazing intellect made me a challenge for most private schools. Fortunately, an opportunity presented itself in the Lil' Gifted School which catered to children with unique gifts. I was expelled after two weeks."

"How awful. Did you go back to school?"

"Not exactly. I was homeschooled through the prison education program. I earned my GED at ten. At 13, I had a Bachelor's Degree in Computer Engineering with a double minor in Robotics and Applied Physics from Metrocity University through their satellite campus at the prison. I earned my Masters of Biomedical Engineering shortly before petitioning the court for legal emancipation at 16. I could have gone further, but I'd lost interest in formal education by that time. It's not like I needed the credentials for my resume in order to be a Supervillain."

"No, I suppose not. So, at that age you already knew you'd be a Supervillain?"

"Yes, well, it was the obvious choice."

"I'm surprised you don't have a Degree in Social Engineering, the Philosophy of Evil, or Criminology."

"I prefer the hard sciences. They're much more directly applicable to my work." He explains.

"So, you were emancipated at 16. Did you remain at the prison?"

"No, I spent most of the next 2 years on my own. Just me and Minion against the world. With occasional enforced detainments at Metrocity's Juvenile Detention Facility, of course."

"Where did you live? When you weren't in Juvenile Detention, that is."

"A few of the men most closely involved in my upbringing were out on parole. We stayed with them at first, but that made it too easy for the authorities to find me. Before long, I established a series of Evil Lairs around the city and those were where we lived and worked."

"How did you get the money to support yourself?"

"Robberies, Burglaries, Bank Fraud, Extortion." In response to her horrified gasp, he admonishes, "Oh, don't look so shocked. Although, for legal reasons, I'd rather not discuss the _details_ of my nefarious activities, I don't deny that I have been a criminal most of my life. It took years to establish myself as Metrocity's Supervillain. In the meantime, I had to work my way up. Establishing the connections and honing the skills. It really wasn't such a bad life for a young malcontent."

"You could have done all those things without challenging Metro Man. Why did you choose to pick fights with him?"

"I couldn't very well call myself a supervillain without a superhero to fight. We were destined to be rivals. Besides, he was the ultimate challenge in Metrocity. How to defeat an invincible foe? Pitting my incredible intellect against his limitless brawn? _That's_ the sort of contest worthy of my skills. And he played the game _well_. Right up until the end."

"When you killed him."

"No comment."

"I see. You called it a game. Did he see your conflict the same way?"

"Of course."

"Your game killed people."

"Yes."

"Is human life of no value to you, then? Since you're not human? Or did you see so much death when you were eight days old that a few more don't make any difference?" she challenges bitterly.

He looks down at his hands, considering his answer before continuing, "That is a hard question to answer, Miss Parker. When I decided to become a supervillain, there were certain risks inherent to the job that I had to live with. We did our best to minimize them, both Metro Mahn and I, but a battle of supers is inherently risky. He couldn't protect everyone and it wasn't my job to save people."

"People are dead."

"_More_ people would be dead if I did not pose enough danger to the city to keep him in residence. If he had gone off to Milwaulkee or Chicago, how many people would not have been saved from life-threatening danger over the years. You know as well as I do that Metrocity is NOT a big enough city to warrant a full-time super of his caliper. If I hadn't been here to create a constant threat, the city would never have shelled out the cash for his salary. The Consortium would have assigned him to a different territory."

"So, you want us to believe that your years of terrorizing the citizens of this fair city were actually _good_ for us?"

"In some ways, yes it was." 

The producer waves for attention and points to his watch. He holds up his two open hands, fingers splayed, and mouths, _ten seconds! _Then he begins silently folding fingers down as the seconds tick by.

Allison smoothly informs the viewers, "We have to take a break, more after a word from our sponsors." The camera pans back and the lights lower as the crew transition to a commercial break.

"And we're off! Three minutes this time," the producer informs everyone on set. Alison rolls her neck and allows the make-up artist who'd attempted to touch up Megamind's powder on the last break to freshen her make-up. They spend the break in awkward silence. The reporter doing her best to ignore her guest while he watches her with vague amusement.

Returning to the air, Miss Parker smiles and jumps right in, "Welcome back, Metro City! In the studio here with me is Megamind. Thank you for staying with us. Megamind, I understand you've recently been seen out on the town with KMPC's own Roxanne Ritchi. Tell me, how did she end up dating her former abductor?"

"Extraordinary luck, on my part, I suspect," he answers. "I'm not entirely sure myself."

"Oh, come now. Don't be modest. I'm sure there's a story there, if you're willing to tell it. How about we back up a bit? Why did you choose Miss Ritchi as your victim all those years ago? Was there some sort of arrangement?"

"Certainly not!" he objects forcefully. "She had no say in the matter what-so-ever. I merely needed a damsel to draw Metro Mahn into my traps and she fit the part."

"So, the two of you were not working together?"

"Not at all. I found Roxanne every bit as much of a challenging opponent in her own way as Metro Man was in his. She never intentionally helped me with any of my schemes, though I was often able to trick her into doing something to aid me anyway. Half of the time she was the one who'd ultimately unravel my plans and tell Metro Man the solution. They were a good team to pit my evil against."

"So, you claim Roxanne was never on your side against Metro Man."

"For the third time, of course not. Roxanne is a paragon of virtue. Anything less and there would have been questions as to her loyalty from the beginning, and she'd never have worked as effective superhero bait. I was very careful when I chose her. I ran an extensive background check to be sure."

"You _chose_ Roxanne Ritchi as your victim? I thought you merely kidnapped the woman Metro Man was dating."

"Exactly as you were meant to believe. They truly were close friends, but I'm afraid their romantic relationship was greatly exaggerated."

"All this time Metro Man was never dating Roxanne?"

"I understand that they did go on a couple of dates early on, which is what initially drew me to her. But, according to her, he wasn't really her type."

"If she wasn't dating Metro Man, was she dating you?"

"No. Our romantic relationship is a recent development. We've only been together for a few weeks."

"Before or after you murdered Metro Man?"

"I've already told you that I won't comment on the details surrounding that alleged event. But I will say that we did not begin seeing each other until a couple days after I blew up the Metro Mahn museum. Well after Metro Mahn day."

"You have no problem admitting to the destruction of the museum, but you balk at saying anything about the murder."

"No comment. I suggest you move on to another topic, or else this interview is at an end."

"Alright," she agrees reluctantly. This interview is scheduled to run at least another ten minutes and cutting it short would force her co-workers to scramble to find something to fill the time. So, she continues. "What do you plan to do once your position as city manager ends?"

"Good. I'm glad you asked that! Once the city is on the right track, I thought I'd try my hand at _legal_ private enterprise." The emphasis on _legal_ seems important to him, "I have a number of amazing inventions I'm patenting. Once those are complete, I'll be licensing the manufacturing of these to private entrepreneurs. I expect to refit and reopen the old Metrocity GM plant, and more than a dozen smaller factories, to produce my machines. If all goes well, I estimate an addition of around two thousand well-paying manufacturing jobs by this time next year. Jobs I have no intention of ever shipping overseas."

"I gather these promised jobs are what garnered you the support of the local Unions?"

"Yes, they were quite pleased with my plans."

"I imagine so. What sorts of amazing inventions are you planning on selling?"

"Hoverbikes, rocket packs, cloaking devices, neural-linked robotic prosthetics, holotechnology, hard light projectors, dehydration technology, some rather specific water filtration systems... different things. Most of them with the potential to be quite lucrative in the right-" His watch chirps and he glances down. "One moment, Miss Parker." He pulls the little clip-on microphone off his cape and tosses it to the floor. Standing, he walks to the back of the stage, facing away from the camera. He murmurs into his watch and a faint voice can be heard, but not understood. Allison aims a questioning glance at her boss. Should they break for commercial again? Before a decision can be made, Megamind turns and addresses the reporter while walking towards the door marked 'Exit'. Without his microphone, his voice for the audience is tinny and quiet, but can be understood. "I must go. Someone decided that if I'm here, I'm not protecting the city. I have to go correct that misconception. Ciao ciao, Metrocity!" he calls as he exits into the alley beyond, his cape sweeping behind him and several brainbots following behind.

Allison Parker recovers quickly from the abrupt exit, "Well, there you have it. Megamind, Emergency Manager of Metro City and, at least at the moment, our Protector as well. Keep tuned here for the latest developments on this breaking story. More after the break." The camera pans back from her and the viewers soon find themselves watching a commercial for a revolutionary lemon-scented cleaning product.


End file.
